The Blog About My 1st Tribe Show and Where We Say Goodbye To Phife Dawg :(

29 Mar

“I have a quest to have a mic in my hand
Without that, it’s like Kryptonite and Superman
So Shaheed come in with the sugar cuts
Phife Dawg’s my name, but on stage, call me Dynomutt
When was the last time you heard the Phife sloppy
Lyrics anonymous, you’ll never hear me copy
Top notch baby, never coming less
Sky’s the limit, you gots to believe up in Quest” – A Tribe Called Quest “Award Tour”

What is up kids.

So this story i’m about to tell took place back in 2007 or 2008, i can’t remember which.  But the fact that 2007 was almost 10 years ago when i still think the 90’s as being 10 years ago just confirms the fact that i’m old as F*CK…

But after years of being split up, A Tribe Called Quest got back together and they were doing an award tour with Muhammad my man, going each and every place with a mike in their hand.  New York, NJ, NC, VA… but it’s at the Starland Ballroom in NJ where me and my boy Jay John saw them.

If you’ve never been to Starland it’s a mad small place to see a show, basically it’s just a very large bar. Although speaking of the bar, it was located on the left hand side of the stage not too far away at all.  So of course even though we were both already pretty bombed we immediately walked right to the bar to get some drinks.  But the best thing was there was a big step you had to step on to get up to the bar, although after you did that and got your drinks they didn’t make you leave.  So instead of going back to the floor of the concert with all of the other maniacs we just chilled at the bar the entire concert getting our drinks and higher then everyone else with the best view ever!  And yes, i said we were higher then everyone too…

So we’re watching the Tribe reunion and it was the MONEY!  They played all of the best songs, there was SO much energy in the crowd and we watched it from the best seats ever WHILE getting drinks the entire time!  Best night ever, right?  Not to mention that Jay was the guy who got me into Tribe back in high school because it was his favorite band, and all it took was me listening to Midnight Mauraders to know this $hit was my JAM, and that’s before i even got to the best album in hip hop of all time A Low End Theory!

But the craziest thing out of everything was that it was about to get better, because when Tribe came back out for their encore and started rapping “Award Tour” for some unknown reason of the Gods Q-Tip decided to run over to the bar and start rapping and walking around the bar right by us!  Not only that, when it got to the part that goes:

Who can drop it on the angle, acute at that
So, do that, do that, do do that that that (come on)
Do that, do that, do do that that that (OK)…

on the last part Q-tip gives the mic to Jay so that Jay John can sing the last

Do that, do that, do do that that that!

So yeah it’s not every day that you get to see your favorite rap group of all time in person, it’s quite another when your best friend actually gets on the mic and drops those funky beats with Q-Tip right in front of you!  i must have gotten the best pictures of it too right?  Wrong!  This was back in 2007 with the stupid flip phones, i had NONE chance to take it out and get a picture quick enough.  How was i supposed to know Q-Tip was going to come run to the bar and add Jay John to the group??

But it was a totally perfect night, except for the part where i was bombed walking back to our car and i went to take a piss not realizing we were parked right by this disgusting swamp and i totally took a large step into what i hope was mud and had to put my entire arm in it too to stop me from falling all the way in.  Lucky for me i pushed myself out and was only half covered in disgusting sewage but i did have to drive home like that which sucked.  i probably should have ended the story before i told that part.  But oh well, on to the Nonsense!

RANDOM NONSENSE

 

– So i think i’m going to try and stop talking about what a raving lunatic and orange bag of douche Donald Trump is on this blog from now on.  Not because i don’t realize it with every inch of my soul what a worthless narcissistic ignorant hate monger he is because i do.  But it’s really because i’m done pretending that people with worthless dumb opinions need to be pandered to because they don’t understand things.  If i have to use any of my breath to explain to you how horrific Donald Trump is it’s really not worth my time or effort to even bother since there are probably a million other things you don’t get if this is something you actually do think makes sense.

What’s next, i need to argue with you that 2 + 2 doesn’t equal 5?  i mean if you want to vote for Trump you might also believe that, am i also supposed to teach you why that’s wrong too? i don’t know, but i can tell you that i won’t.  Because it’s just too exhausting waiting for all of the children who don’t get things to catch up to the rest of us.  So keep wanting to vote for Trump all you want, just make sure you get out of the pool when it’s time for “Adult Swim” so i can do my laps!

– All of us wonder if other people find us attractive.  Whether you are single, married, dating, divorced, or even just curious we cannot help the fact that part of us always wants to know if other men or women alike think we are pretty and/or handsome.

But sometimes that curiosity can be too much, and instead of just wondering we just need to ASK.  Which is why i give a LOT of credit to Andy Carroll in this next entry into the The BEST Album Covers of ALL TIME!  Andy is done playing games, and it’s on this album he asks the one question that we all want to… “Do You Want to Touch Me”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – So some of you will probably hate me for saying this but i do not like hammocks, AT ALL!  And i know some people love hammocks more then life itself, and nothing makes them happier then to relax on a hammock outside taking a nap on a beautiful summer day…

But i’m just too big and fat for a hammock.  And  they are so awkward to get into!  i have to just jump in like a lard ass and then start swinging around like a fat idiot. And then when i finally do get settled and try to nap i realize i forgot my cell phone inside or my drink in the kitchen or that i have to go to the bathroom, and that’s when the REAL fun starts!  Because if you are overweight and you are trying to get out of a hammock you end up looking like a beached whale who’s only option ends up being laying in the same spot on the beach and dying there.  And sure your friends might help you get out, but not before they point and laugh at you trying to do it yourself.  So enjoy your hammock skinny people!  i’ll take a nap inside on my soft queen size bed and Egyptian cotton sheets where there are way less annoying bugs biting me all over my entire fat body.

And yes that is just a picture of a fat guy and not a fat guy on a hammock but i saw this picture on Google and it made me laugh so i hope it made you laugh too!  Unless that is a picture of you of course…

– So as you’ve probably noticed i haven’t been talking about eating Fast Food a lot lately and it’s for a good reason, i have given it up for 2016.  That’s right kids, you’re humble yet slightly overweight narrator has given up Fast Food AND bagels this year and so far i haven’t had either all of 2016.  Now don’t strike up the band for my parade just yet, i’m still eating all sorts of garbage that aren’t listed in those two categories.  But as far as Fast Food Tips  goes i haven’t even really wanted any and i don’t think i will anytime soon…

Except that i’m DYING to try Taco Bell’s new $1 breakfast menu!!  Sausage flatbread quesadillas, mini skillet bowl with eggs and fiesta potatoes, grilled bacon or sausage breakfast burritos, and there’s even more but i need to stop writing this ASAP so i can go try all of these immediately!  Hey New Years Resolutions… LATER DICKS!

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope you all enjoyed today’s free ha ha’s, and for real RIP Phife Dawg and thank you for giving me some of the best and greatest music i’ve ever heard in my life.

See you kids next Tuesday with an all new blog! – miguel jose

 

 

 

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