They don’t care about you at all… at all… AT ALL. And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Thats what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue d!ck thats being jammed up their a$$holes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth, it’s called “The American Dream” because you have to be asleep to believe it. – George Carlin

9 Feb


What is up kids?

So is it just me or is this living paycheck to paycheck way of life for the birds?  And by for the birds i mean it’s a horrific and agonizing slow death that we all languidly walk through as our hopes and dreams are crushed and our soul withers away into nothingness as the thought of ever even getting SLIGHTLY ahead is nothing but an impossible dream that we all cling to mightily but know deep down in our broken hearts that we will never be able to achieve it. Or like i said to start it off, this kind of life is for the birds!

And if i’m being honest kids this hard truth of life is really getting me down these days, and by down i mean i’m about to go to my garage and suck my cars exhaust pipe and treat that $hit like Tommy Chong hitting a blunt after getting out of prison.

And i hate that i feel like this sometimes, because if there’s anything i have learned on my 97 years on this planet it’s that true happiness is only a dream and a dumb one at that.  NO!  That’s not what i’ve learned!  What i’ve learned in my time here is that almost EVERYTHING that we deal with on a daily basis is pretty much all bull$hit, but none is more $hit then the idea of money running our country, our lives, and our entire being.

Aren’t almost all of your problems in life money related?  i feel like most fights between families and/or couples always end up being about money.  And of course it does!  What is more stressful then having never ending bills or unexpected expenses come up like your car breaking down or your water heater going or your “supposedly” warrantied for life rubber Star Wars dildo for males that doesn’t have the UMPH it once had.  Speaking of the force, have any of you ever had your $hit pushed in by a light saber?  Sorry, i’m getting off topic here..

And unfortunately if you are feeling the same way as me i don’t have any solutions for you.  No matter what you do money is important in this life, and you can try to not play the game all you want but if you’re like most of us you’re going to get sucked in and left high and dry and there is just no escape.  Except for the fact that it doesn’t HAVE to be like this, this way of life is only the way we’ve designed it as a society which means it could in theory be fixed.

 Which is why when i see people on Social media blasting Bernie Sanders saying “He just wants to give everyone everything for free!” as an insult it makes me wonder, how are people so brainwashed to believe that THAT way of thinking is what’s crazy?  Like it makes more sense to them that people have to pay tons of money for healthcare and education instead of that just being a basic human f*cking right that any advanced society would have.  i mean for real, all you guys will fight to the death to keep your guns but if someone wants to raise the minimum wage and/or get an education and/or get treated medically without bankrupting their family you still hear that and feel hey, if they can’t pay the money then f*ck em!

If that’s how you truly think and feel then congrats, you’re way of thinking is just how our owners want us to feel.  They want you to be mad at people on welfare for taking all of your money.  They want you to think that a minimum wage of $15 is LUDICRIS but that a CEO of a bank can get MILLIONS and MILLIONS and still get extra MILLION dollar bonuses even after causing our entire economy to collapse with bull$hit loans they knew were bad.

And when i say “owners” i don’t just mean the politicians either, i’m talking about corporations, the media, everyone in marketing, and even your neighbors.  Because the system has you so brainwashed that just the idea of someone getting something for free gets you so f*cking angry!  Yet the top 1% still takes all of the money, gets all of the breaks, and you want to blame immigrants and people on welfare for taking all of your hard earned money.  You get angry and complain about the poor getting pennies as the rich are stealing BILLIONS.  Which is a fun and racist way to see things, it’s just unfortunately for you not accurate at all and you’re putting the blame on the people below you instead of above which means you are doing their work for them.

But whatever, people are such sheep and honestly believe that this system works fine and that all we need to do is get rid of the beggers and lazy people and we’d “make America great again.”  It’s just too bad that just like the ignorant bag of racist douche who is afraid of Megan Kelly who is known for this slogan is just as clueless and way off about this falsehood as those who believe he would actually do so.


– Are there really people who have a problem with mothers breast feeding in public?  To use a phrase Brian Regan said Jeepers Creepers folks, can you people PLEASE find something real in this crazy life to get upset and/or offended at?  PLEASE?  It’s a f*cking woman feeding her child for crying baby out loud, the only way it seems “dirty” or “pornographic” is if you’re a super repressed possibly religious zealot who thinks they are going to hell or watching a porno because a mother is giving her child LIFE.

And since you’re apparently too stupid and childish to know i will just tell you that babies need to eat and they need to be fed because they are just not old enough to do it for themselves.  So if a woman is breastfeeding in public, at work, or f*cking ANYWHERE either close your eyes and think about why the human body offends you so much or just f*cking get over it like an educated mature adult because you’re acting like a bigger baby then the one with a titty in their mouth.

– There is literally nothing funnier to ANY woman on the planet then a person who stumbles and falls and possibly hurts themselves.  i don’t care if it’s a ruthless person like Amy Schumer or the sweetest, oldest grandmother who has never hurt a soul in her life, if either one of them saw somebody completely wipe out and break themselves they would both laugh their gddamn asses off, and loudly at that!  And i don’t know what it is, because normally women are more gentle and caring then men with everything else.  But i don’t care if it’s the Pope giving Christmas mass, if he wipes out all you will hear echoing in the home of God is the sound of women cracking up!

– Between my money woes and my bleak outlook on the future of society there isn’t a whole lot that could lift my spirits, except for maybe the idea to get up and dance!  That is why today’s entry into The BEST Album Covers of ALL TIME! will put some pep in your step and a smile to your taint as it shows you a man who isn’t afraid to make you happy or to wear shorts that are WAAAAAY too short.  So please enjoy Lionel Blair and Aerobic Dancing!

Fast Food Tips – More then 50 people in 11 states were diagnosed with E coli after eating at Chipotle restaurants last year, and that doesn’t count the normal amount of people who eat Chipotle and then $hit their brains out.  E coli is a very serious and life threatening disease, which is why Chipotle just shut down all of their restaurants for 4 whole hours the other day to teach their workers how serious this is!  And if it’s like any work meetings that most companies have then i’m positive that everyone paid attention and actually learned things and they didn’t think the meeting was pointless or bull$hit AT ALL!

So even with the CDC declaring this threat now over i can promise you that i for one will never, EVER eat at Chipotle again!  Except for the free burrito that you can get if you text “Raincheck” to 888222 now!  That’s right kids, in order to make up for the 4 hours they were closed (hopefully learning how to not kill us) all you have to do is text Raincheck to 888222 and they will send you a link to get a free burrito.  i don’t know how long this lasts so get on this ASAP!  And yes the thought of spending my last few moments on Earth clutching my stomach on a toilet bowl as my insides turn to liquid $hit that ends up all over the bowl/floor isn’t appealing.  But hey, free burrito!

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone has a great week and is able to forget about their money troubles because i obviously sure can’t.  But make sure to tell your friends and/or enemies about the free laughs you got today on this blog and i’ll see you here next Tuesday!

Cya, Miguel jose

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