Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, None but ourselves can free our minds. Have no fear for atomic energy, Cause none of them can stop the time. How long shall they kill our prophets, while we stand aside and look? Some say it’s just a part of it, We’ve got to fulfill the book. – Bob Marley "Redemption Song"

29 Sep

Won’t you help to sing these songs of freedom? ‘Cause all I ever have…
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Redemption songs


What is up kids?

So i’ve decided today to take a break from the Bernie Blast Blogs i’ve been giving you lately, not because i don’t think these are some of the most important blogs that i’ve ever written because i truly do believe that.  Although before i get to today’s rant i HAVE to bring up Jay John’s comment that he dropped on my last blog because it’s mad time sensitive!

In order to vote for Bernie as the democratic representative you must be registered as a democrat I believe 55 days before the democratic elections. It varies from state to state. So get on it people!!!!!!!!

Yeah get on it jerks!  But yeah the main reason i need to change topics for today is because i just had one of the craziest experiences of my life this past weekend and i can’t go any longer without talking about it.  “So you finally had sex for the first time huh?  I mean you’re only 57 years old, it’s about time you popped your cherry!  Did it hurt?  I sure hope someone prepared you for all of the blood.  And I also hope that you are married to this guy or else what you did was  a sin!”

Ha ha ha.  So funny ahole.  And i’m 37 years old ya jerk! So stop ruining this amazing experience i just had before i even get to explain what it was!  i mean no we’re not married, but he said he loves me and he was gentle and tender the entire time.  And sure it may have hurt at first, although there was definitely not as much blood as i thought there would be… NO!! That’s not the story i was going to tell!  Or a story i’d ever tell because i’ve never had sex with a man!  Not again!  i mean never, i never did once so it couldn’t happen again!  Gdamn  you for ruining my blog!!!

What i’ve been trying to say from the start was that me and my wonderful girl got a chance to go to the Global Citizens festival this past Saturday in Central park, and it was easily one of the most incredible and impactful events that i have ever attended in my life.  i mean first of all i got to see Beyoncé perform LIVE, and if any of you have any doubts that she’s the biggest and best in the game today then you are NUTS because she is a BEAST on stage!  Believe every word of the hype my friends!  That girl just straight up MURDERED it on stage and proved why she is truly the QUEEN.  And if you want to feel like an old out of shape f*ck just watch her perform, because i found it hard just to stand and watch her entire performance while wearing sneakers on the soft grass.  Beyoncé danced and sang her ass off for an hour straight, never losing her breath and doing the entire show in HEELS!  My back and legs were cramping and hurting just watching her! And oh yeah she also ended her performance by introducing Michelle Obama.  WHOOOOPS!

So yes i got to see our amazing First Lady in person this past Saturday.  And yes the main reason I wanted to go to this show at all was to see Pearl Jam who is my favorite band of all time.  And yes they rocked the f*cking city and were as incredible as always.  But this ended up being a lot more then just a concert in Central Park.  This Global Citizen Festival was event to teach people not to just be bystanders and to actually take action and make a difference, especially in ending extreme poverty.  In fact, you couldn’t buy tickets to this event, you had to “win” them by sending emails and making calls and sending tweets to different organizations trying to make a difference.  And it was in this crowd of activists that people like Stephen Colbert were here trying to inspire others to take action.  And other amazing performances from Common, and Sting, and even other surprising appearances like my boy Leonardo DiCaprio!  I finally saw Leo in person!  If he jumps i jump!!!

And in the most incredible surprise of the night, i got to see Malala in person, a woman who is as amazing as she is inspiring.  And then to top it all off Eddie Vedder sang “Imagine” live in Central Park, followed up by singing “Redemption Song” in a duet with Beyoncé! Holy most insane f*cking life ever!


– i can’t go any further without saying congratulations to the NL EAST CHAMPIONS THE NEW YORK METS!!!  After a LIFETIME of horrificness and poor play and embarrassment, my Mets FINALLY look like a legit team and are going to the playoffs!  And yeah they won the World Series in 1986, but i was only a zygote back then and don’t remember it at all.  And yeah we’ve been to the playoffs again since then, especially back in 2006 when we lost that game 7 to the Cardinals and i was there in person in the upper deck as Carlos Beltran struck out with the bases loaded and i spent the next day and years of my life crying and living in shame.

But none of that matters now!  What matters is i believe in miracles and life again, and i also believe the Mets might actually win the World Series!  And yes i may end up the same way as i did in 2006, alone and crying in my shower as the pain leaves my body through various orifices.  But until that moment happens all i can say from the bottom of my heart is LET’S GO METS!!!!

– If you’ve read my blog before and/or know me in person it wouldn’t be a surprise if i told you that i am in fact a real ladies man.  Whether it was the anxious and nervous way i  used to approach them when i was single, or how clean i would keep my room when i lived in my parents basement in my late 20’s i ALWAYS knew how to make a woman smile!  Usually it was while she laughed at me and told me that she just wanted to be friends because she doesn’t “look at me in that way” but it was a smile nonetheless!  It is with this suave basterd in mind that i’d like to show to you the next The BEST Album Covers of ALL TIME! and it’s an album that i’d like to believe helped me gain the beautiful woman i am lucky enough to be with now.  So if you find that you’re having a little trouble with the ladies yourself then i’d like to suggest that you throw on this little ditty and feel the magic of the Hollywood Playboys Orchestra and “Music for Playboys to Play By!”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – The positive of being a woman who works in office, especially if  your manager happens to be a man, is that you can always leave to go home at ANY time as long as you tell them you are having “feminine problems.”  Because what guy manager would ever call that out?  Um, Mr. Jose?  Is it okay if i leave early?   i need to go to the doctor, i’m having a … “woman’s issue”  Oh yeah?  Like what?  A sore vagina?  Your Fallopian tubes fell out?  Swollen ovaries?   Is there blood everywhere?   Because yeah i’m pretty sure no guy manager is ever going to ask ANY of that.

Now a woman manager might get annoying and actually ask, and be like “So what’s wrong?  MEH MEH MEH MEH” or whatever it is girls like to nag about.  However, if a guy has the option of either asking questions about his employee’s womanhood, or just letting her go home early he’ll take option DOS every time.  And if i was her manager i’d be the same way.  Without fail, as soon as a woman employee brings up her Fallopian tubes and asks me if it’s okay to leave i’d just be like LATER DICK!

“Facebook Etiquette”- Better safe than sorry is right. Channel 11 News was just talking about this change in Facebook’s privacy policy. Better safe than sorry. As of September 28th at 12:39 p.m. Eastern standard time, I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement atleast once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste
Now it’s official! It has been published in the media. Facebook has just released the entry price: £5.99 to keep the subscription of your status to be set to “private”. If you paste this message on your page, it will be offered free (I said paste not share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become public. Even the messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed. After all, it does not cost anything for a simple copy and paste

p.s. If you believed this actually did anything please don’t vote in this next election because you’re obviously someone who is dumb enough to like and vote for Donald Trump. 

 Fast Food Tips – America runs on Dunkin, and that’s a statement that is as sad as it is true.  And while they’re bagels are straight up garbage and their breakfast sandwiches taste like microwaved ass, i do have to admit i’m a fan of their Dark Roast coffee.  And no it’s not because i’m brown and my skin color is dark roast, it’s because their regular coffee isn’t strong enough.  Especially when you NEED it to get going in the morning or you’ll kill someone.  Their dark roast does the job though, and since today is another fake holiday like “National Coffee Day” Dunkin Donuts is offering a FREE medium cup of hot or iced dark roast coffee.  So go get your free cup today!  Or several if you plan to go to different stores like i do!

And that’s it for me this week kids!  i’ll be back next Tuesday to tell you AGAIN why you should all be voting for Bernie Sanders for President, but until then have a great week and try to do something that makes a difference!

People share a similar predicament. We are aware of challenges facing society and our planet. And yet, we don’t take action because we don’t believe our actions matter. We see ourselves as a small part of larger problems – rather than powerful contributors to solutions.
Shouldn’t life be about taking a stand for the issues we care about? Doing something, rather than nothing? Doing nothing is standing by – as bystanders.

In the face of global problems, are we choosing to stand by or is collective effort possible? All it takes is the first step to reverse the effect. When one steps forward, others will follow. Just take a look around. There are examples all over the world to prove it.


We can end extreme poverty. Fight inequality & injustice. Fix climate change. We can tell everyone about the Global Goals. Every day we have the opportunity to use our voices – and actions – to bring attention to the Global Goals. Let’s end extreme poverty, reduce inequality and fight climate change, together.

Take action and become a Global Citizen.

Cya next week! @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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