i cannot pretend i am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. i have loved and been loved; i have been given much and i have given something in return; i have read and traveled and thought and written. i have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourse of writers and readers. – Oliver Sacks

1 Sep

What is up kids?

i’ll tell you what’s up, i’m coming off of one of the greatest weekends of my life and i could not possibly be in a better mood!  Well maybe if i won the lottery and could spend the rest of my life with my girl on the beach boozing my life away i’d be in a better mood.  Or maybe i’d be in a better mood if this country woke up and if Donald Trump wasn’t actually a real candidate for President anymore because all of the brain dead morons who actually believe this orange haired flaming bag of douche would be a good president just because he’s a loudmouth stubborn piece of $hit realized how dumb they were for thinking that.

And maybe if i was the one who got famous for my Karate Kid theory instead of some dirtbag joke stealer i’d be in a better mood.  Although speaking of that entire debacle, thank you SO much to all of you that were so quick to defend us our and our great little show.  i know we don’t have the biggest audience in the world but we definitely have the most devoted and BEST fans around!  You’re the best, a-ROUND!  Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down! But for real, we have had TONS of people support us by posting our show on websites and on Twitter and all over Facebook and we just want to say THANK YOU because you are the money and we truly appreciate it!

So between all of the support for VHS Breakdown, and having literally one of the best vacations of my life this past weekend down the shore with my girl i am just SO in the mood to be happy and relax.  Which is why i’m taking off next week and coming back in TWO WEEKS with an all new blog!  i’ve got some fun plans for this Labor day weekend and don’t want to half ass it, so instead i’m taking a much needed mental break and then will be back and better then ever in TWO WEEKS!  And it’s going to be my big Bernie Sanders blog so i hope you all come back to read it!

But in the meantime enjoy today’s ha ha’s everyone, and don’t forget to say hello to September because it’s already f*cking HERE!!


– At some point as the man in a relationship, you learn that your biggest responsibility ends up being able to stand outside and wait for your girl to come out of the bathroom.  Whether it be getting ready at home to go out for an event, or if you’re out at a restaurant or concert and hear “i just need to pee real quick!” A real man knows that’s his que to get ready to stand outside that door and WAIT.  And it’s not the girls fault that they can’t just stand there and whip their thing out and plaster a urinal with lemon yellow urine and instead have to sit down on those DISGUSTING seats in a girls bathroom.  And it’s also not their fault that there are always only 3 stalls for all the women in the building and one of the stalls is always out of order because it’s just TOO disgusting to even attempt to use. 

And i’m not saying any of this to judge or to blame women for this, i’m simply making an observation.  An observation that came to me while i was outside of the bathroom waiting for my girlfriend, one of those “i should put that in my blog!” moments that sometimes doesn’t work on my actual blog.  So hellllllo sometimes!


Meme found on Thehorrorclub.blogspot.com

– When are they going to come up with a “puking” emoji?  It would LITERALLY save hours off of my texting time per weekend…

Fast Food FACTS:  If there’s anything fast food does right it’s killing everyone who eats it by slowly poisoning them to death with awful chemicals that no human should consume.  If it does two things right it’s come up with ridiculously scary mascots that are sure to give children nightmares.  We all remember that creepy kid touching “king” that BK tried pushing for awhile…

And of course everyone knows that McDonalds has been pushing that horrific clown upon all of us for God knows how long…

No, not that creepy clown.  The other one!

Jeebus Christmas that is one horrific looking mascot!  Although not to be outdone by themselves McDonalds has a brand new mascot for it’s Happy Meal called, “Happy”  And no i’m not kidding…

Way to go McDonalds!  If you can’t scare people off with all of the dangerous chemicals you put in your so called “food” then you might as well use creepy mascots to scare children away for good!

Fast Food FACTS DOS! – Will there ever be peace in the Middle East?  Is this Iran Nuclear deal a good idea for America?  Will the Montagues and Capulets ever get along?  Was that beef between Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus real or just made up? i don’t know the answer to these questions, but if there is one beef that will not be settled it’s the beef between the buns of the proposed “Truce” burger between Burger King and McDonalds called “the McWhopper.” 


This so called McWhopper was proposed by the clown to the King in honor of “Peace Day” as a way to raise money for a non profit, and to also raise the cholesterol and the chances of dying young for anyone who eats it.  Although speaking of eating it, McDonalds was apparently not lovin’ the idea as they tweeted out that they were better then this and that BK can suck their salty McNuggets and cram a Big Mac up their sesame seed buns.  Which is the worst move!  Your company has been losing money like crazy lately now that people realize they are not as interested in eating processed grade F meat garbage anymore.  So now you blow a million dollar idea like this and come off as a jerk in the process.  Enjoy your new slogan, “i’m BLOWIN’ it!” Patent pending…

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope you all have a great week, and even better Labor day weekend and i’ll see you in TWO Tuesdays when football will already be here!  

Cya in TWO weeks!  @migueljose_85 on Twitter

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