"I never saw it until it was too late." – NY Ranger Henrik Lundqvist on Tampa Bay’s Game Winning Goal in Game 7 at MSG Knocking the New York Rangers Out of the Playoffs

2 Jun
IT’S MY FAVORITE BLOG TO WRITE OF THE YEAR!!!


So i am writing this before game 7 of the Rangers/Tampa Bay series and i’m doing so because i’m convinced the Rangers will win this game.  Not only that, i’m convinced that they are FINALLY going to win the Stanley Cup this year and i’m already dreading hearing about it for the rest of my life, a life that may be cut short after i kill myself because the Rangers won the Stanley Cup…

And when they do win i just want to say that i’m giving up watching hockey, because not only will i not be able to stomach hearing anything about the Rangers being World Champs i will also no longer believe in a God, and hockey will no longer be a sport i can watch any longer.  Maybe if the Devils ever feel like becoming the classy and brilliant organization they once were i might start watching again.  But after losing Kovi and Parise and replacing them with NO ONE and then getting rid of the “Hey” song as their goal music because pu$$ies were complaining that we were chanting “You Suck!” even though that’s the loudest that arena ever gets i’ve just had it with the Devils, i’ve had it with hockey, and i’ve had it with life.  So enjoy these blogs while you can kids, because once the Rangers win the cup i might end it at any time.  And by “it” i don’t mean my blog, i mean my life!!!


WHAT IS UP KIDS?!?!?

i’ll tell you what’s up, those paragraphs above is what i had written for today’s blog before game 7 was played.  And as you can tell, i was POSITIVE that the Rangers were going to win!  But you know what?  Now i can safely say… Hey Rangers!!!
LATER DICKS!

And it feels GOOOOD to write that Later Dicks! my friends.  No wait, it feels GREAT!  Because as you should know by now i f*cking HATE the NY Rangers.  i hate their team, i hate their fans, and i hate everyone in Bryant Park who watches the games.  And when i say HATE i don’t mean that i want physical harm to come to anybody who loves the Rangers.  Because there is that small part of me that realizes that this is just a silly sport, and to wish physical pain on anyone is ridiculous.  So when it really comes down to it i‘m not a maniac who is wishing actual harm against Ranger fans.

But i do hope they lose every single game, every single time they play.  Because i f*cking HATE the Rangers, and watching them lose a game 7 at home by getting shut out in MSG in front of their so called “fans” who paid thousands of dollars to see them is just gddamn PRICELESS…

And when i say i f*cking HATE the NY Rangers, i’d also like to point out how much i LOVE when their season is over!  i love it so much that i recorded the post game of game 7 on the Rangers network, the NHL network, and various other sports shows on ESPN just so i could hear multiple people try to explain why the Rangers lost, and even more importantly i just want to record the expressions of every single Ranger fan on television because the look of pain and anguish in their eyes is PRICELESS…

And sure, they can bring up the fact that i’m a Devils fan, and the Devils haven’t even made the playoffs in the last 2 years.  And the thing is i really don’t care about that, because i’d rather see the Rangers lose then see the Devils win. And it’s not because i don’t love the Devils and realize that if Lundqvist is King then Brodeur is a GOD, it’s because f*ck the f*cking dumb ass Rangers and go suck a fat d!ck you blue faced basterds!

And sure, maybe i’m being a little over the top with my hatred of a hockey team and their fans over a silly rivalry, and that definitely does not show a lot of class by yours truly.  And you might think it’s even more classless to buy every single newspaper in the area the day after they lost just so i could look at the Sports page and smile thinking about how those awful Rags are out of my playoffs!

Haha Canyon of Zeros.  But seriously, that’s enough punishment for today Ranger fans!  i realize that some of you animals read my blog, and i hate to admit it but i actually like some of you and think you’re decent people despite your unfortunate choice of your favorite hockey team.  But just like the Rangers season my bashing of the them is now over, so feel free to enjoy the Random Nonsense without any worry of any more Ranger talk.  Although unlike the NY Rangers you won’t have to wait more then 80 years to get one day of happiness in your life!


RANDOM NONSENSE

– Can you guys believe all this rain we’ve been having lately?  These flash floods are CRAZY, and it’s insane to think that California is going through a drought and i have to swim through the parking lot to get to my car!  Although speaking of all of this rain, i hope you guys realize that i don’t just say that the Rangers suck because i hate them will all of my heart and my soul and my ball sack.  It’s because statistically, as an organization, they are poor to terrible more towards terrible, And here are the stats to prove it!

– And since today seems like a day of dropping “Later Dicks!” …
LATER DICK!

AND HELLO VAGINA!

A Great Name for a Punk Band!  “The Hullabaloos”

Fast Food Tips –  It’s not often that i give a fast food item the “miguel jose Toilet Seal of Approval” and by not often i mean i’m just making up this award right now.  But Wendy’s has introduced their new “Jalapeno Ghost Pepper Fries” and after trying them i can say i introduced a new boner to my pants.  The site describes them as ” Our classic, natural-cut fries topped with fresh, diced jalapeños, ghost pepper sauce, and warm Cheddar cheese sauce bring the right amount of heat. It’s too hot to last, so try one today! ” i would describe them as delicious fried nonsense that have just the right amount of heat to make your penis go “Spicy booooWHIP!”








“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – Alright so this is more of an Old School LATER DICKS! then just a straight up Old School Nonsense.  But rather then me explain what i mean why not instead just relive this classic bit i wrote a year ago!  For some reason i felt like it was relevant….  
LATER DICKS!!!!
MAN it feels great to drop that “Later Dicks!”  i literally cannot put into words how happy that makes me.  i feel like the darkness that’s been over my soul during these playoffs has been lifted.  i feel like the sun has come out and there is a rainbow into my heart now that the Rangers are going on TWENTY YEARS without a Championship!  
Alright that’s it for today kids!  Not just the Ranger bashing but also my blog!  And am i going to drop one more Rangers hating meme before i go?  No, no i’m not.  And i’ll tell you why.  It’s because deep down inside i am a classy guy, and to post another meme would be immature, unfunny, and i just won’t do it.  
So i’ll cya all here next Tuesday for a brand new blog, and i promise not to talk any more hockey until next season!
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One Response to “"I never saw it until it was too late." – NY Ranger Henrik Lundqvist on Tampa Bay’s Game Winning Goal in Game 7 at MSG Knocking the New York Rangers Out of the Playoffs”

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