Children are not our future, and i can prove this with my usual flawless logic. Children can’t be our future because by the time the future arrives, they won’t be children. So BLOW ME! – George Carlin

17 Apr

What is up kids? 

So before we get to how awesome it is that it’s finally Friday and the weekend is about to start, i’d like to talk about a story that has been blowing up social media lately that happened to catch my sweet little brown eye.  i mean eyes.  It’s a story about Jade, the lovely new mother in the picture with her beautiful baby girl Addy!  An image so precious, that Jade apparently had to post nonstop pictures of her baby on her Facebook page!  And when i say nonstop, i mean she posted pictures of her child until she received a not so nice anonymous letter from someone who was apparently getting tired of seeing all of these baby pictures…

And i know most of you are going to think i’m probably going to side with this anonymous person who wrote this letter to a probably very annoying mom.  But you know what?  You’re 100% right!  i AM going to side with the coward that wrote this letter.  i mean yeah it was a bitch move to not attach her name to the letter, because we all know only little coward pu$$y ass bitches make anonymous comments instead of just admitting who they are.  You know, the kind of low life scumbags who try to post comments on blogs making fun of me, even though all they do is prove that they are obviously INFATUATED with me and read my blog every week.  A thing that is only made funnier by the fact that i could give less of a $hit about you, and it only shows how pathetic you are that you care so much about me when i don’t lose a second of sleep about what an annoying little loser you must be.  Because we all know that haters only hate the things they cannot have and the people they cannot be.

BUT, i do realize that i post a blog online, and by opening myself up to the internet world that means i allow douchebag cowards to write and post whatever they want on my page. It comes with the territory, as does posting pictures of your baby online.  So while i do think it’s okay that some dumb ass felt the need to write this anonymous letter to this mom, i also think it’s totally fine for this mom to post as many gddamn pics of her kid that she wants.  It’s a free country everyone!  You can post whatever you want online to your hearts content, and people are free to either ignore it or post rude comments and send angry letters if they want as well. This isn’t a black and white issue where only one side is right, both the mom and the woman who wrote the letter have the right in this country to be as annoying as they want.  And we are all fine with free speech until someone says something about us that we don’t like, but unfortunately that’s the price of freedom that we have to pay. 

So should the person who wrote this man up and admit who they are?  Sure, that would be the opposite of what a coward does.  But she doesn’t have too.  And should this mom realize that child worship is not healthy and that maybe people don’t give a f*ck about her kid as much as she does?  Yes, she probably should.  But that she doesn’t have to.  So i say embrace our freedoms and realize that while you have the right to publicly post things on the internet, people also have the right to be anonymous little bitches about it.  And this is coming from someone who has his own #1 fan that is straight up obsessed with me.  But don’t worry my dickless stalker, i’ll keep writing blogs and you can keep reading  them IMMEDIATELY after i put them up and you can keep posting your dumb personal anonymous comments that i never put up.  To be honest i’m just happy that at least one person reads every single word i write!  Even if they are a big sweaty frightened vagina who is such a loser that they anonymously stalk people who could care less about them on the interwebs!

And by the way, maybe if this woman read my blog as much as my own personal nutbag stalker does she would have realized what she was doing earlier!  And oh yeah, thanks to Kelly Marie for posting this story on Facebook so that i could make fun of it today! 🙂

“MOMbook posters”-


– If we’ve learned anything at all this week and trust me i did my best not to, it’s that not everyone on the New England Patriots gets away with cheating.  i say this as former fantasy tight end dream Aaron Hernandez was convicted of 1st degree murder and is being sent to jail for life without parole.  It’s hard to blame him for thinking he would get away with it though, i mean the Patriots have at least 3 Superbowls under their belt by using the old Eddie Guerro technique of “Cheat to Win.”  Which apparently works great against everyone that isn’t Eli Manning and the New York Giants.  But hey, at least the next Madden game is going to be real exciting! 

In all seriousness though, it is nice that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is FINALLY doing the right thing in dealing with all of these horrible stories that have been going on in his league.  He should be commended for finally taking an action that we all feel is appropriate! 

– So sometimes, for no reason at all, i end up having glitter on me.  And this isn’t some dumb bit that i’m making up, or a story that i’m creating just to get some cheap ha-ha’s.  It’s just that sometimes, while i’m at home, i’ll just randomly have gddamn glitter on me.  Not a lot,  i mean it doesn’t look like i just got glitter bombed by a stripper’s booty or anything.  Although that would at least make sense and then i’d have an excuse on where it came from.  Instead, i just occasionally have a couple of specs of glitter on my head which i never realize until my girlfriend tells me. 

And at this point i’m just angry about it because for real, where the f*ck is all of this glitter coming from???  And we’re not talking about this last month, i mean for the last 5 years or so this just keeps just happening.  Is it in my car?  It is on my desk at work?  Do i sleepwalk and have a secret life Tyler Durden style and become a stripper at night and go by the name “Brown Sugar” on stage and then i try to shower it off before the real miguel wakes up the next day and goes to work to find glitter all over him?  And again, there’s really no point to this bit other then to say where does all this gddamn glitter come from?!?!  Someone help me please!

– So has everyone been digging this BEST Album Covers of ALL TIME! bit so far?  i sure hope so.  Not just because it’s hilarious because obviously it is.  But mainly it’s because all i have to do is google “Worst Album Covers of All Time,” pick a funny one and the bit is done!  It’s win win for everyone!  And by everyone i mean laziness.  But anyways, the album cover that started this all and also the one that is currently my background theme on my work computer is Joyce, so no matter how many of these i do there is NO album cover that will ever overtake the one featuring Joyce as The BEST Album Cover of ALL TIME!   

Or at least that’s what i thought, because Germany has decided to try and overthrow a leader once again with their own version of this cover with a beautiful woman who if i’m not mistaken is also the mother of our very own contributor in the comment section of my blog, Johnny Lats.  This woman is at least equally as pretty, but not only that she said f*ck it why not have a bunch of roses instead of just one!  Which album cover is actually the best?  i’ll let my readers decide!

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone enjoyed this blog, and as a SPECIAL treat to all of my readers i’ll have a brand new blog up this Tuesday as my special post 4/20 blog!  If you don’t know why i’m doing a blog for 4/20 i suggest that you ask someone cool and/or look it up on the internet.  And try to do so on your work computer so that your bosses realize that you’re trying to learn more about this classic and traditional American holiday.

But have a great weekend and i’ll see you kids on Tuesday for an all new special blog!

Cya TUESDAY! @migueljose_85 on Twitter

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