If you can’t pull an all nighter you don’t get all nighter memories – Joe Rogan

10 Apr

What is up kids?

So is everyone ready for the weekend?!?  i know i sure am, but i’m a little disappointed it’s not last weekend again.  i mean last weekend it was Easter, i was in Cape Cod with my girl and my family and my niece and nephews, eating insanely good seafood and large dinners and hugemongous breakfasts left and right, all followed up with the only 3 days off in a row i’ve had this year!  What an Easter weekend!

But yeah that was last week, and this weekend i just don’t have any crazy plans.  i mean i won’t lie they are still pretty awesome, and by awesome i mean as soon as i get home tonight i’m going to order a meatball and onion pizza for myself and try to eat the entire thing during a solo Game of Thrones marathon with out wearing any pants.  So yeah, i guess i do have crazy plans!

And don’t let my insane party filled weekend discourage you from doing something fun this weekend. Make sure you go to a happy hour after work today!  Don’t do your normal just driving home and getting dinner and then sitting on the couch and feeling comfy until you pass out before 9 pm even though tomorrow is the first day you’re allowed to sleep in all week.  Get that drink with your friends! Grab some food at the place you both keep talking about trying and have never been to before!  Go to that bar to see that 80’s cover band that plays all of that Poison and Motley Crue music that you like!  And when it gets mad late and you realize that you would have had WAY more fun just relaxing and chilling on your couch doing nothing then you’ll have me to thank!  You’re welcome in advance!


– So my worst nightmares have come true.  The New York Rangers have won the division and the Presidents cup, they spank the New Jersey Devils in every building that they play them in and they’re probably going to win the Stanley Cup this year.  It’s like a tidal wave of awfulness and i’m sitting on the beach with a front row seat of the disaster that is going to crash down and wipe my soul off of this planet for good.

And being that i’ve bashed them mercilessly on this blog i feel that it’s only fair that i stop staying things like they’ve only won one cup since 1940 and that was what many consider to be the “fluke” of 1994.  And i won’t bring up how they are going to the playoffs with Lundqvist in goal which means the best goalie they have will be on the bench as they make their run.  i won’t bring up ANY of that because i’m a classy guy and i wish them luck on their quest for the cup.  So good luck jerks!  i guess we’ll see if i end up having two words for ya…

– Did you know you can follow me on Instagram at @VHSBreakdown?  You didn’t??? What the hell is your gddamn problem?  i’d follow you if you followed me!  Or maybe i wouldn’t, it depends what kind of garbage you normally put on your page.  And i definitely don’t respect those women who aren’t brave enough to tag their boyfriends in their pictures!  But yeah you should follow me because i’m money and it makes me feel good when you do.

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- You know who i never felt bad for?  The Doozers in Fraggle Rock. What the F were they figuring? You’re making an entire city out of delicious sugar sticks?  No wonder the Fraggles would destroy your entire infrastructure everytime you were building something! Although now i’m wondering that maybe that was the Doozers’ plan all along.  “Enjoy the sugar now you ahole Fraggles, i hope you get diabetes!  It’ll be a lot harder to chase us once you lose your foot from eating our town you Muppet Show rejects!” Well played Doozers.

Fast Food Tips –  Speaking of diabetes, Burger King has just reintroduced their “Chicken Fries” and the commercials made them look so good i had to go out and try them!  And when i did i realized they should have been called Chicken DRIES because that’s what they really are, they are dried up pieces of fried chicken turds that were less moist then an uptight 80 year olds virgin vagina.  And if that example was unappealing to you it’s still sounds more tasty then the thought of eating any more of those stupid chicken fries.  So don’t do what i did and get them, do what i didn’t do and don’t get them.  You’re welcome.

And that’s it for me today kids!  With all of the craziness and seriousness going on in the world right now i figured i’d take it down a notch and just put everyone in a good mood for once, so hopefully some of today’s ha ha’s were able to do that.  But i hope you all have a better weekend then me, i hope you all avoid BK’s chicken fries if at all humanly possible and i hope you all join me next week for an all new blog!

Cya Friday!  @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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