Weakness is what brings ignorance, cheapness, racism, homophobia, desperation, cruelty, brutality. All these things that will keep a society chained to the ground, one foot nailed to the floor. – Henry Rollins

27 Mar

THE BLOG WHERE i TRY TO GET THE SAND OUT OF MY VAGINA

What is up kids?

It’s the first non-snowy weekend of Spring, and i for one am in a fantastic mood!  “Well it’s about gddamn time!  We were all getting pretty sick of these blogs written by a depressed and “maturing” old a$$ miguel jose who is constantly complaining about being an “adult” and whining about all of the sand he gets stuck in his vagina.  How about this for an idea?  How about you actually write a “funny” blog for once and try to make us all laugh?  You know, instead of bitching and moaning like an 4 year old girl who just skinned her knees falling off of her tricycle?  We all know that you don’t man up in real life, but why not try to do so at least once on your own f*cking blog?  i mean none of us can actually see you while you write this, why don’t you at least PRETEND that you’re a real man and make us fucking laugh you moody basterd?!?”


Wow, thanks for that.  Have i really been that bad lately?  i guess it makes sense, i have been pretty down on myself.  “Down where?” C’mon, JEWELL!!

But yeah i’ve definitely not been feeling the money up until recently, and as i told you previously it’s been pretty tough especially on this blog.  i mean this blog is called “Here Comes the Money…” for a reason.  How the hell am i supposed to bring you guys the money comedy blog if i’m not feeling money myself?  i’ll tell you how, i can’t!   And it’s at the worst possible time too, because like i told you kids last blog i finally have a real domain name for my blog, as you can now find me by going to Herecomesthemoney.net!  i’m straight up legit now!  “Yeah you are!  If by “legit” you mean you’re a legit pu$$y who doesn’t make enough money to support the ones you love.  It only makes sense that after 4 years and however many blogs that you FINALLY got a real domain name!

 Jesus, you are PUMMELING me today!  Can you PLEASE give me a break just for a hot second!  Maybe you shouldn’t put so much of your happiness on how funny my blog is and try to bring some happiness into your life yourself.  i get that you rely on my witty banter and hilarious insight to brighten up your day every Friday.   But i’m also going to be “real” with my readers whenever i can, and if that means admitting i’m in a $hitty mood or depressed about what’s going on then that’s what i’m going to do! 

But yeah enough of your nonsense, it’s time to start the weekend!  i don’t have time for anonymous pu$$ies who write stuff on my blog without being man or whore enough to admit who you are.  It’s Friday, i got some money plans lined up and i’m in the best mood! 🙂 So let’s get to it already!


RANDOM NONSENSE

So i know it was a little while back but i hope everyone had a great St. Patrick’s Day! 
If i’m being honest on why i’m in a better mood, a lot of it has to do with my boy Rob.  He’s not only the funniest guy i know but he’s also got a big heart.  i mean hard.  On.  No, he’s an awesome guy and he’s great at picking you up when you’re down.  i mean going down on dudes.  Damnit!
Anyways, we have our annual “glamping” trip coming up and he wrote an email recently about our 11biggest camping miracles, NONE of them are appropriate for here (lots of gay stuff) .  And what he wrote for me as #1 was not only touching to my heart, but it touched my balls as well as my taint.  So without further Apu, here’s the email that explains why i will now call myself.. The Heartbreak Kid Toucher

1) He’s Not Human…He’s Sub Human:
And the last miracle I can think of at Camping is the miracle of Miguel…and his subhuman drinking strength that seems to multiply each year. One year he does 13 shot guns in a row. Another year he drinks an entire bottle of vodka? One year he funnels himself to another planet and ends up doing the electric slide!  It’s amazing to go camping every year and see how migs out performs us with ease. It’s a miracle that nobody has died during camping yet…and it’s a miracle how he continues to outperform like the show stopper. If HBK was Mr. WrestleMania…than Miguel Jose is Mr. Camping.

A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The Cowinky Dinks” 

“Facebook Etiquette”-

Fast Food Tips – Baskin Robbins usually sells scoops of ice cream for like $2.79 each but on Tuesday the 31st they’ll be selling them for $1.31.  i don’t have time to make jokes for this bit i, just wanted to give you the heads up in case you love cheap ice cream.  Although where the hell is a Baskin Robbins?  i don’t think i’ve been to one since 2003.  And i know i could probably just look it up and find out where one is on the interwebs but like i JUST told you i don’t have time!

And that’s it for me today kids!  Have a great weekend, make sure to watch Wrestlemania, and don’t forget to watch The Walking Dead Season Finale because that shiznit is gonna be CRAZY!  And i’ll see you kids next Friday for an all new blog! 

Cya, @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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One Response to “Weakness is what brings ignorance, cheapness, racism, homophobia, desperation, cruelty, brutality. All these things that will keep a society chained to the ground, one foot nailed to the floor. – Henry Rollins”

  1. Anonymous March 27, 2015 at 10:03 pm #

    a most useless waste of time – yours and mine! do something real and of benefit for humanity for god's sake!

    Like

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