How could this love ever turning, never turn its eye on me? How could this love ever changing, never change the way I feel? – Beck "Lonesome Tears"

13 Feb

THE BLOG WHERE BECK AIN’T A LOSER

What is up kids?

i’ll tell you what’s up, it’s Valentines Day weekend and i started today’s blog off with the most DEPRESSING Beck song lyrics ever!  Go ahead, i dare to listen to “Lonesome Tears” off of Sea Change and not draw frowny faces on your wrists with a butcher knife.  In fact, i DOUBLE dare you not to do it!

Lonesome tears, I can’t cry them anymore
I can’t think of what they’re for.  Oh they ruin me, every time.
But I’ll try, to leave behind some days.
These tears just can’t erase, I don’t need them anymore

Although speaking of Double Dare, to make this blog even more depressing i just found out that Marc Summers the old host of Double Dare now has cancer.  Man, this blog just keeps getting happier and happier!  
The funny thing though is that despite all of this depressing nonsense i’m actually in a fantastic mood.  Beck is finally getting the credit he’s deserved his entire career, it’s Friday and i’m about to start a fantastic weekend.  And while i normally hate Valentine’s Day because it seems like a made up Hallmark holiday which they invented along with local restaurants so that they could get away with charging $65 for a prix fixe dinner not including alcohol all while jamming you both into a small space along with all of the other loving couples i’m actually excited for it this year.  Mostly because i don’t care what i do, as long as i’m with my girl i’m having the best time ever.

Whoo hoo you’re in love and you’re talking about it on your Valentine’s Day blog!  You know how i know you’re gay?  You’re d!ck tastes like $hit!””

Wow, c’mon DOOD.  This is my Valentine’s Day blog and you’re ruining it with your filthy and immature mouth!  Although to be honest i don’t think i’ve done the inner monologue bit for a hot second so welcome back, it’s nice to hear from you.  “Thanks, it’s so nice to be back!  Speaking of back, you love back sides because you’re gay!” 

This rant really fell apart at the end there didn’t it?  Oh well.  On to the nonsense! 


RANDOM NONSENSE

– Now i know this next bit of advice probably won’t help anyone now with Valentine’s Day being tomorrow and all.  But it may come in handy for another occasion or at the very least you’ll know better for Valentine’s Day next year.  But if you ever go to order flowers from one of those sites like Proflowers or whatever and you’re all set to make your purchase, right before you’re about to end the order and hit “confirm” just exit out of the website and wait a hot second.  Because if you do that, Proflowers will send you an email with “A Special 10% Off Coupon to Finish Your Order.”  Same thing with Shari’s Berries and probably a million types of services like this
 Forget something? 
Check out now for an additional 10% off.
Which means all you have to do is not finish your order and leave the website and you’ll save an extra 10% off of whatever deals you are already using.  And with how much shipping and handling costs at these stupid gddamn places i say take any extra savings you can get!  And yes i’m Jewish and my new name is now Miguel Jose Bagelwitz
 
A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The Freaky Deekys”

And now for the most romantic Fast Food Tip ever….
Valentine’s Day Fast Food Tips –  If you didn’t already know about this next deal (and if that’s the crave case then shame on you,) White Castle has a special Valentines day dinner at their restaurants to make today the most romantic day ever!  White Castle is just oozing with so much love and fat and grease that they even have two different promotions to push how romantic a night at White Castle can be.  My only question is which ad is the MOST romantic?  Is it this one?
Mmmmm the steam, the passion, the hot, little BUNS!  i feel like i’m reading “Romeo and Juliet” because that might be the most romantic thing i’ve ever heard!  At least until i saw this ad….
Holy cow!!  Am i watching, “The Notebook?”  Make this Valentine’s day “hot and steamy?”  Are they talking about at their restaurant, or are they describing what your bathroom will feel and smell like once you get home?
Either way, whether you’re going out to eat at White Castle or spending hundreds of dollars at an expensive restaurant all that matters is that you do it with the person you love.  And i spent so many years being alone that it’s nice to not only have someone but be with the one person on the planet that i’m supposed to be with.  So even if you’re depressed and lonely today, just know that it is possible to find the person you love and when you do you’ll be able to post silly and sappy romance stuff on your blog the way i do now!!
The BEST Album Covers of ALL TIME!  Speaking of “Hot and Steamy,” this next album cover is not only perfect for White Castle but also perfect for Valentine’s Day!  There’s not too much explanation needed here, so please enjoy Millie Jackson and “Back to the $hit!”
And on that romantic note i’d like to say i hope you all have a fantastic Valentine’s Day weekend!  Especially my love who is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  It was almost Jay John for a little while but then i remembered that he’s Filipino so he’s out.  But while this holiday can normally be annoying and more trouble then it’s worth, i’ve spent enough lonely holidays in my lifetime to appreciate every single day i get to spend with my girl so i can’t wait for this weekend to start! 
So have a great week, and have fun with your significant other but don’t any of you forget to tell your mother that you love her tomorrow as well because she was your original Valentine.  And i’ll be back here next Friday with an all new blog so i’ll see you all then my loves!


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