Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King

16 Jan

What is up kids?

So you should all know by now that i HATE talking about anything serious on a Friday blog.  Mostly because everyone should be getting ready for happy hour and/or doing massive amounts of drugs while celebrating the fact that it’s the weekend.  i mean for REAL kids, Friday is the time to find out what comes before Part B.  And if you don’t know the answer to that little riddle i’ll give you a hint… it’s Part AAAAAAAAAAY!

And i also know everyone HATES talking about politics, which is the main reason no one went out to vote during the midterm elections.  Unfortunately that is also the reason we now have a Republican majority in both the House and Senate, and even more unfortunately this is also the main reason that we are F*CKED as a country.  Because unless people start to pay attention to what’s happening in our government, we run the risk of zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ…

NO!  DON’T FALL ASLEEP ON ME NOW!!  Even though i know that most of you would rather shove shards of glass in your earballs then listen to anyone talk about politics let alone yours truly.  Although do any of you realize that’s how the people in power want you to feel?  They want you to be bored and uninterested when politics are brought up, this way no one pays attention, no one stays educated on what’s really happening, and all of the rich and powerful men who run this country can keep doing whatever they want while the rest of us don’t notice because we hate politics.

Case in point, do ANY of you know what the Republican party has been up to lately now that they run both houses of Congress? Well the first “issue” they took up was relaxing and pulling back all of the restrictions that we put on the banks and Wall Street after the 2008 financial collapse.  You know, the collapse where they almost bankrupted our country and the only reason they didn’t was because our government bailed them out and put in rules to make sure it didn’t happen again.  But who cares if our entire country almost went under?  Wall Street and these shady banks pay TONS of money to buy our congress members, so OF COURSE the first thing they want to do is make it easier for these banks to start giving out shady loans again and not be held responsible when everything goes bad.  Although to be honest why wouldn’t these a$$hole Republicans do this?  They know they can get away with it because no one in this country f*cking cares or pays attention or gives a $hit.  So you might as well blatantly work for the companies that pay you and not the people you’re supposed to represent if no one gives a f*ck anyway! 

Or how about the fact that funding for the Department of Homeland Security (you know, the agency that helps protects us) is going to run out next month?  It would seem that in such dangerous times that we might want to fund that agency, especially with everything going on with ISIS and the attacks in France recently.  So now that Republicans run both the House and the Senate did you think they would pass a bill that funds this agency to help protect our country?  You’re gddamn right they did!  But when doing so they also attached extra laws that would negate the progress President Obama made on immigration this past year and undo the Executive actions he took to help the families and children of illegal immigrants. 

But miguel, what does President Obama’s executive orders on immigration have to do with our National Security? Why are Republicans attaching the two unrelated things?”   They’re doing it because the American public is uniformed, uneducated, and doesn’t pay attention.  But most importantly, they do it because they can get away with ANYTHING.  And when the Democrats don’t help to pass this bull$hit bill the Republicans will yell and point at them and say “They don’t want to fund Homeland security!  They don’t care about protecting the American people and their liberty!  Democrats are unpatriotic and hate our country!”

And you know what?  Most of the mainstream public will hear this garbage and agree with it.  Because the public are uniformed, uneducated, and they don’t give a f*cking $hit.   These lying sacks of Republican horse excrement will keep helping out big banks and wall street because that’s who they are paid by, and they will do even shadier $hit like attaching immigration reform to National Security funding.  And they do this because they don’t give a f*ck about protecting the country or making America safer.  If they did they would pass a clean bill that funds the Department of Homeland Security and that would be it.  Everyone would vote yes on that clean bill, and hopefully our country would end up safer because of it.  But instead, all they really care about is undoing ANYTHING this black President has done, and if it means combining immigration reform to the security of America then f*ck it let’s do that! Because once again, no one cares, no one pays attention, and no one gives a $hit. 

But i do.  And even if i can’t get any of you interested in these issues that matter to all of us i can at least do my job to educate you all on how you’re being f*cked by Congress.  You can choose to stay uninvolved if you want, as that is the right of every American to be lazy and do nothing and pay attention to nothing.  But before you start your weekend of boozing and blazing i felt it was my duty to bring to your attention the BULL$HIT that is going on.  And since i know most of you are still laughing at the fact that i said “duty” just now i’ll just quit while i’m behind and get to the nonsense already!


– It’s Flashback Friday, and while that is a ridiculous holiday (especially when we already have Throwback Thursday) it is also a great excuse to show to you our VHS Breakdown review of the John Hughes classic, “Weird Science!”  Watch it again or for your first time ever, and if you’re poppin your cherry with this episode i promise i’ll be gentle!  Especially with my comedy creampie finish!

– So i know this happened last weekend, but i was just so darn happy and excited about this next story that i forgot to post it on my blog!  But despite the refs giving them an undeserved victory by not calling a BLATANT pass interference penalty against Detroit, the refs were unable to help the hapless Cowboys against the Packers in their loss last Sunday.  Which means now Jerry Jones and Chris Christie get to cry and tug each other’s small penises in the owner’s box by themselves because the Cowboys are out of the playoffs!  So to Jerry, Christie, Romo, Dez, and everyone else who roots for “America’s” Team, i would personally like to say to each and every one of you…


A Great Name for a Punk Band!  “The Damn Skippies”

The BEST Album Covers of ALL TIME!  As amazing and fantastic as this next nominee is, it is definitely the one that leaves us with the most questions.  Why is Julie so sad?  Who is this guy trying to console Julie and what did he just tell her?  Why is she staring at that shady half filled glass of beer?  And is this in fact a picture of the worst Sweet Sixteen birthday party EVER?   We may never know the answers to these questions, but one thing we do know is that this is one of the greatest album covers of all time.  So i gladly present to you, John Bult and “Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday!” 

Fast Food Tips –  Are you a vegetarian?  Do you hate your colon and stomach?  Are you a big fan of painting the inside of your toilet bowl fun and interesting new colors?   If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions then urine luck!  Because White Castle has just introduced their new “Veggie Sliders”, which are tiny veggie burgers made with carrots, zucchini, peas, spinach and broccoli on a tiny bun, topped with honey mustard, ranch or Thai sauce.  Which is great, because now when i want to eat SUPER healthy i can just order a crave case of veggie sliders and i’ll FEEL the healthiness running through my body and through my butthole! i love being a vegan!

And that’s it for me today kids!  i  hope everyone has a great long holiday weekend, and speaking of which i’m going to take a little holiday myself.  So there will be NONE new blog this Tuesday, but i will be back next Friday with an all new hilarious blog! Hopefully with less politics and bull$hit but with these whack job Republicans in charge you never know.  

Although real quick before i bounce, i’d just like to make it clear i don’t consider myself a Democrat” despite the fact i bash these Repubs relentlessly.  i definitely agree with more Democratic ideas but i will never join a “team” as far as my politics go.  i will just stay an Independent and make whatever choices on the issues i gddamn please. 

But thank you for reading, and please tell your friends about this blog and PLEASE come back next Friday for an all new blog and all new comedy!

4 Responses to “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King”

  1. Anonymous January 16, 2015 at 5:14 pm #

    Your lack of knowledge of politics is astounding.


  2. Miguel Jose January 16, 2015 at 6:35 pm #

    Enlighten me, anonymous


  3. Anonymous January 17, 2015 at 4:57 pm #

    The true collapse of the economy happened when Glass-Steagall was repealed by President Clinton. The problem with the economy is income inequality, but blaming it on one party or another is just juvenile, and ignorant. The system as a whole is what is broken, and cannot be fixed by blaming Republicans or Democrats.


  4. Johnny Lats January 19, 2015 at 2:30 pm #

    That's a good point, and both parties clearly have the same fundamental interests (i.e. maintaining their power at the expense of the population, typically by undermining democracy and equality). I agree, it is a systemic problem. But it's important to say that the republicans are much more committed to the project, and with much greater intensity than the dems. Primarily due to the fact that the republican base favors such an approach, while the dem base includes progressives who would not tolerate it. So pointing out that the republicans are worse is quite correct, in my opinion. Regardless of whether you agree or disagree on that point, discussing it is far from ignorant. Reading People magazine, spending hours on social media, being into things like fashion and dancing with the stars, without also making time to understand your world, is ignorant. That's not this blog. In fact, brazenly accusing people of being ignorant only serves to restrict the amount of political discussion, not expand it. Who's side are you on?

    “People often say, with pride, ‘I’m not interested in politics.’ They might as well say, ‘I’m not interested in my standard of living, my health, my job, my rights, my future or any future.'
    – Martha Gelhorn

    Mr. Laaaaaaaaaaaats


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