It’s so cool, it’s so hip, it’s alright, It’s so groovy, it’s outta sight. You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet, But it makes no difference cause it knocks you off your feet – Faith No More "Epic"

11 Nov

You want it all but you can’t have it.
It’s in your face but you can’t grab it…

What is up kids?

So i know my birthday a few months ago but i finally have to admit it, i really think i’m starting to grow up.  Like for real, i’m a borderline adult these days and i don’t know how i feel about it.  And i mean yeah i kinda new it was gonna happen eventually, and i know it’s something that EVERYONE has to do apparently.  But for the longest time i never thought it would catch up with me, mostly because i thought i’d be dead by now!
And before any of you think this is about to start turning into a lame “Mommy” blog from now on you can f’n relax.  Because i still love boozing heavily, and when i do i still love drinking when it’s in “game” form. And by that i mean i love playing beer pong, doing shot guns, pounding funnels, doing power hours, basically anything that turns drinking into a game.  i mean yeah don’t get me wrong, i have no problem just sitting on the couch in my boxers and casually drinking Natty lights until i wake up in a pile of my own puke and bodily fluids.  Or at least i think that’s my own pile…
But i find it WAY more fun to be drinking while doing an activity, because then i get all fired up for a competition and i get all loud and rowdy and become way more fun!  And by “fun” i mean obnoxious and angry and annoying to be around, which is probably the reason i’ve made the switch to drinking wine instead of beer and/or Red Bul and Vodka.  Because now instead of being a classless dirtbag who drinks cheap 30 packs of light beer for $13 i can now drink $8 wine like a classy f*ck! 
Although if there is one drawback to drinking wine for me it’s that i’m just now learning that it’s definitely tougher to play drinking games when you’re drinking wine, because for some reason wine is just too hard to do funnels of and/or pound in general.  “Probably because you’re a big sweaty vagina and can’t handle drinking fermented grapes because it makes your pu$$y hurt!  Did you ever think that might be the reason that it’s harder to play drinking games with wine?”  To be honest the answer is yes, yes i did think that is the reason
So yeah the sand in my vagina is definitely one reason i can’t pound wine the way i pound beers, but like i said before it also might be because i’m finally growing up.  i don’t find the need to get blackout drunk anymore, i don’t find the need to pound brews until i’m fighting with my friends and throwing up at puke park across the street, and i don’t find the need to go to happy hour every week because i just don’t care anymore.  And yeah maybe i don’t really have a point to this rant, other then to admit to you all that i drink wine now.  And i guess i also just wanted to admit that despite my lameness these days inside i’ll forever be a frat boy meathead who wants to drink Natty light in a beer pong tournament until i’m on all 4’s puking into my shower drain trying to push the chunks of White Castle pieces that i ate at 4 in the morning through the drain. So don’t let my adult body and clothes and responsibilities fool you, i may look an act like an adult these days but i’m still just a big gddamn kid! 


–  Want to try a fun and interesting experiment?  Just take the date of your birth, and/or anyone else’s birthday for that matter, and go back exactly 9 months from when you were born to check out what songs were #1 at the time of your conception.  This way you’ll have a better idea as to what music was playing when you were conceived!  And by conceived i mean that your daddy dropped his love juice inside your mommy.  And oh yeah, before when i said this experiment was “fun” and “interesting” i really meant it was “disgusting” and “day ruining.”  That’s my bad, i’m not great with words sometimes. Which is a huge reason why i call everything the “Money!”  That and the movie “Swingers” is still one of my favorites of all time
A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The High Horses”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- How can Republicans be so against abortion yet also be against free health care for people?  Is life sacred or not?  You can’t only care about a person’s life when they are in the womb, and then stop caring as soon as they are born.  And how can Republicans also be so against gay marriage?  How can they say marriage is sacred in a country where over 50% of them end up in divorce, plus you have shows like “The Bachelorette” and “Who wants to Marry a Millionaire?”  i’ll tell you how, because they only care about their agenda and they don’t really care about people’s lives.  If you did care about people you would want them to have free health care and you would support people who loved each other getting married.  And don’t get me wrong, i think Democrats are big pu$$y douchebags too.  But at least they fought for health care and fight for gays to have the right the marry.  Everyone else needs to get out of other peoples business and grow up already.
– Have all of you heard of a “cronut” before?  If you haven’t it’s a cross between a donut and a croissant, which means it’s a donut that surrenders at the first sign of trouble.  Haha do you get it?  It’s because a croissant is french!
Anyways, apparently Dunkin Donuts is getting in on this fad and have now released their own version of a croissant donut, which is the exactly the same thing as a cronut except Dunkin Donuts is trying to be all fancy and cool and not call it that and just call it a croissant donut.  From what i hear people are big fans of it but i haven’t tried it yet because i don’t care what American runs on.  My ass runs on Starbucks!  So i’ll try it when i can and get back to you all but for now i just wanted to give you the heads up!
And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone has a great week and i’ll see you kids back here on Friday for an all new blog!

Cya, @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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