Last night you were a dream, now you’re just you. And I am just a fool, someone you once knew. Before the night was over, after love was through. Last night you were a dream, now you’re just you – Beck "Last Night You Were a Dream"

1 Aug

What is up kids?

Well it’s officially August already, which means we still have one more month of summer to go!  And i know not everyone looks at things this way.  Because if you’re a negative person you’re thinking “OMFG the summer is almost over!  Where the hell did it go already??? Why is God so cruel to me?!?! FMFL!!!”  And if you’re a positive person you’re thinking, “Wait, we get another WHOLE month of summer to party and enjoy?  That is f*cking AWESOME news!

And the latter person is the one i’m speaking to right now, because Lord knows i feel the same way.  i mean sure July went by WAY too fast, but isn’t that how life always seems to go?  The good times ALWAYS go by in the blink of an eye, and then horrifically awful and/or boring times seem to drag on FOREVER.  It’s just the way things are, and if you don’t get used to it you’re gonna do a lot of complaining in your lifetime.  But how about instead of complaining about this fact, let’s just embrace the $hit out of it and look forward to this next month.  Because the summer ain’t over yet, and it’s still time to party my friends!!!

And speaking of enjoying the rest of your summer, i got a few things you should check out if you want to make your life even that much more better.  First and foremost is Beck’s “new” album, “Song Reader” which is so f’n good i can barely stand it.  i talked about this “album” on a previous blog, but if you don’t remember Beck released this album a while back yet he never recorded or played any of the music on it.  He only released it as sheet music, which meant the only way to “listen” to his album was to either play the music yourself or to listen to someone talented enough to play the music for you.  And since i wasn’t able to do either i never had an idea of what the album really sounded like.  Until now!!

Beck has finally released an “actual” album for “Song Reader,” yet instead of him playing his own songs he got a bunch of other money artists like Jack White, Norah Jones, Jarvis Cocker and Jack Black to play it and record it instead, and he produced it and just released it this last Tuesday and it is the f*cking MONEY!  In fact, it’s so good that i’m going to bring back my Money $hout-out of the Week  and give the shout out to Beck for this masterpiece.  This album is the work of a musical genius/es, and it’s such a pleasure to listen to that it literally made my entire summer.  And don’t get me wrong, i also love his other newish album “Morning Phase,” an album which he actually plays music on.  But “Song Reader” just hits my soul in a way that i can’t explain, and if i didn’t tell you all to go out and get it and/or burn it illegally just to hear it i would feel like i’m doing the fans of me and/or of my blog a disservice, which is why i’m telling you all to go get it now!  It’s as incredible as the artists in this picture below, and if you’re cool enough to know who everyone in this picture is then my guess is you’re having a pretty awesome life so far…

The other best thing going this summer is the television show, “Wilfred” which is one of the most funny, intelligent, and insane shows i’ve ever seen.  And i don’t recommend this show highly, especially because i don’t believe most or even half of you will get it.  i’ve talked about this wacky show before, and although it’s almost impossible to explain i’ll tell you that the show is about a young guy played by Elijah Wood (Frodo from Lord of the Rings!) who tries to commit suicide by taking pills.  And when it doesn’t work he wakes up, and from that point on when he sees his neighbors dog he seems him as a man dressed up in a dog suit who can talk to him while everyone else only sees him as a regular dog.  Does that sound like a show you’d be interested in it?  If no just skip to the “Random Nonsense” already.  But if you’re answer is “yes” i cannot explain how f’n deep and dark and hilarious this show is!  It’s in it’s final season now so i probably should have hyped this up more before the show’s about to be over.  But you can catch up on the other seasons on Netflix and if you like f’d up non-mainstream comedies then this show is for you!

Here’s one last money thing before i bounce, and it also happens to be another television show.  “Hey miguel, maybe that’s why you are so fat!  All you do is watch television shows instead of doing actual comedy on your own.  Have you ever thought about that?”  Why yes, yes i have.  And while you make a good point, my argument against it is that i believe great comedy is the best thing in life, right after love and food.  And i just can’t help it if there’s so much good comedy out there that i get mesmerized by it and watch it nonstop.  i’m like that kid in “American Beauty” who looks at the floating paper bag and starts crying and goes, “It’s like there is so much beauty in this world that i can’t take it…”

 “THAT’S NOT THE ACTUAL QUOTE mIGUEL!! YOU’RE GETTING IT WRONG!!!”  C’mon, JEWELL!! i was just paraphrasing it for crying out loud!  Give me a break!  But fine, the quote is actually Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

 Are you happy now Jewell?  i give you you’re own bit, yet you still have to call me out for getting a movie quote wrong.  But for real, i’m glad you did so.  i need to be called out and kept on my toes sometimes.  The last thing i need in my comedy career is to become complacent, so i truly appreciate you calling me out.  You expect nothing less from me then my A game and i respect that.  Well played sir!

But yeah before i end this rant i’ve got one more thing for ya, and it’s that you should all be watching the Comedy Central show, “Nathan For You.”   i would try to explain it,  but my words would not do it justice.  All i’ll say is that it is one of the funniest, most original comedies i’ve seen in a LONG time, and if you dislike stupid sitcoms like “2 and 1/2 Men” or “Big Bang Theory” (which i finally saw for the first time and thought it was UNWATCHABLE, UNFUNNY GARBAGE) then you will LOVE the show “Nathan For You” on Comedy Central!

But yeah there’s only one month left in August kids, so go make it count!  You can take my advice and listen to that album and watch these two hilarious shows, or you can go out on your own and do whatever “you” find fun, i don’t care.  All i care about is you kids having a great time, not just while reading this blog and/or on the weekends and/or summer, but in life!  So make sure you do something fun this weekend, but even if you’re not i hope this blog gives you all the happiness you need!


– So before i re-posted this episode on our VHS Breakdown Facebook Page we were a few views from 1000, and my hopes were to hit 1k before the end of this weekend.  Well we’re already at 1010, and just like the radio station it felt like my situation was win/win!  Or wins/wins!  Or whatever i could possibly say to make this joke funny, which i’m obviously not smart enough to do on this bit right now because i’m not a genius.

Although speaking of geniuses, “Real Genius” is the episode that i’m talking about and for real it’s in my top five episodes that we’ve ever done.  Although before you watch it, did you all see the comment from Jewell on our FB page when i said this was my favorite Val Kilmer movie?  If you missed it he wrote: True Romance isn’t your favorite Val Kilmer movie?

And to that i drop my second,  C’mon, JEWELL!!   for this blog.  Because “True Romance” is my favorite movie with Val Kilmer in it, and “Real Genius” is my favorite Val Kilmer movie.  Got it?  Now please just give me a break for a hot second guy!  And while you’re at it get your pong game ready for next Friday!

 “OLD SCHOOL” Tips for Video Games: Someone PLEASE come up with a new name for this bit already!!!  It’s a great bit but man i hate using that stupid title every time.  But whatever, bad name or not this picture is hilarious…

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – So while it’s true that people who live at home with their parents don’t have to pay any rent, what people forget is that instead of money these children are instead paying with their mental sanity.  Sanity that they will most likely never get back.  And by most likely i mean they are scarred for life.   And the worst part is you barely save any money living at home, because all of the money you save on rent you spend going out to bars and drinking your face off to try and forget what lunatics your parents are.  That’s probably the reason that every time people move home for “a few months” when they are in their 20’s that it always ends up turning into them staying there way into their 30’s.  “MA! Where’s the Meatloaf?!?  F*CK!!!

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE DOS – So i’m huge fan of porn, but i have to admit my tastes are getting a little weird these days.  i’m not sure what they call it, but what i like to do is record myself having a conversation with myself on SKYPE and then play it back and masturbate while i talk dirty to myself and then ending by giving myself a money shot to the face.  Is that weird?  No judgements please!  i just happen to get turned on my looking at my face and then giving myself my own personal Santa Claus beard with my own personal pop.  And i can do this because it’s a free country. U S A!

And that’s it for me today kids!  And it’s a good thing too because while i’m happy you are taking this time to read all of my ha ha’s you should really be out there enjoying this last month of summer!  In fact, why am i wasting time still talking to you guys?  i should be out there enjoying the summer like the rest of you should be!  So like Doug from “The State” i’m outta heeeeeeeeeeeeeere!

Cya Tuesday with an all new blog!  @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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