In fact, its why all our ancestors originally came to this country and were themselves originally unwelcome. Because that’s the story of America. From Ben Franklin’s worry that Germans were ruining Pennsylvania, to our 19th century 60 year ban on the Chinese Immigrants who had just finished building our rail system, to our very "real and justifiable" concerns about the Irish, and their insatiable applying for jobs. We have always been a nation of immigrants who hate the newer immigrants. – Jon Stewart

25 Jul

What is up kids?

Speaking of kids, do all of the people SCREAMING to send back all of the “illegal” immigrants that are coming to this country realize that these are CHILDREN that we are talking about?  Children that are fleeing all of the violence and brutal atrocities that are happening in their home countries?  These aren’t adults that are sneaking into America to steal all of your jobs and use all of our resources that YOUR tax dollars pay for, although if you read up on any actual facts you would know that’s not the case either.

But these are f*cking KIDS you maniacs!  Poor, scared, innocent kids who don’t even know what’s happening to them.  There isn’t a part of you that forgets about being a Republican or Democrat for two seconds and puts politics aside to realize that these are children that are being sent here?  And forget the fact that they are being sent here to America and that you are an “American.”  It doesn’t matter that it’s people from another country trying to find safety in OUR country, these are little kids!  And they are HUMANS!  Forget being American, don’t we have the obligation as a race of humans to look out for the most vulnerable and innocent creatures out of all of us?

No, of course not.  This is OUR land and this is OUR country and if you don’t like it you can get out!  These are the same people that BEG you to adopt your pets from a shelter and not buy them from a store becasue puppies and kittens are so innocent, we need to everything we can to save them!  But whatever you do don’t send any actual human babies to America or we will kick them out immediately!  Get off of our land, go back to your country!  What do you think you are, a puppy?

i wish it didn’t make me so sick and make me feel so angry thinking about some of these uneducated, uninformed a$$holes who spread so much hate and human indecency but i gotta be honest it’s hard to take.  ESPECIALLY from people who think they are religious, because if you love God and believe in Jesus yet you think either one of them would turn away frightened kids who just want to be safe and be with their families then you are either reading the wrong Bible or have a f*cked up way and looking at faith and love.  Because the Jesus i know wouldn’t turn away anyone, and by standing in the streets to yell at buses full of scared children to go home to a violent country where they might end up being killed for no reason then you couldn’t be farther away from Jesus’ teachings if you tried.

And i know after reading this rant that it’s not going to change anyone’s mind.  If you get SO angry at the fact that innocent children are trying to find safety in America nothing that i wrote today is going to change that.  So i didn’t really write this to try and convince any of you how wrong  you are, i really wrote this because i feel sad for you.  Because in a country where the corrupt rules everything, and the rich do none of the work and pay none of the taxes while the rest of us struggle in the middle class or worse, working 40 or more hours a week if we’re lucky just to live paycheck to paycheck and pay off all of the bills that will never be fully paid off, while politicians are trying to take away the rights of women and minorities and are constantly doing things only for the lobbies that pay them and not for the people who elect them, you are choosing THIS issue to get so mad about and say something.

And if while being f*cked so badly by the people in charge that you instead need to turn your anger on children who are just looking for safety then you could not possibly be losing more at this game called life.  And when you do finally meet your maker you’re going to have a lot of trouble trying to explain yourself.  And you’re also going to have a lot of trouble beating Jesus in beer pong, because for real that man has SKILLS!  Enjoy your weekend everyone!


– So some of you will probably hate me for saying this but i do not like hammocks, AT ALL!  And i know some people love hammocks more then life itself, and nothing makes them happier then to relax on a hammock outside taking a nap on a beautiful summer day…

But i’m just too big and fat for a hammock.  And  they are so awkward to get into!  i have to just jump in like a lard ass and then start swinging around like a fat idiot. And then when i finally do get settled and try to nap i realize i forgot my cell phone inside or my drink in the kitchen or that i have to go to the bathroom, and that’s when the REAL fun starts!  Because if you are overweight and you are trying to get out of a hammock you end up looking like a beached whale who’s only option ends up being laying in the same spot on the beach and dying there.  And sure your friends might help you get out, but not before they point and laugh at you trying to do it yourself.  So enjoy your hammock skinny people!  i’ll take a nap inside on my soft queen size bed and Egyptian cotton sheets where there are way less annoying bugs biting me all over my entire fat body.

And yes that is just a picture of a fat guy and not a fat guy on a hammock but i saw this picture on Google and it made me laugh so i hope it made you laugh too!  Unless that is a picture of you of course…

– In honor of “National Tequila Day,” otherwise known as “Bad Decision Day” here is one of my favorite episodes of VHS Breakdown where we review Tim Burton’s directorial debut, “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.”  i love this episode because we finally show how dark and F’D up this movie is, and if you didn’t know Tim Burton makes a cameo in this film well then you do now!

And oh yeah, don’t forget to watch the last part after the credits where i almost killed myself doing the “Big Shoe Dance” on my kitchen counter.  i almost dropped my own personal, LATER DICKS!

A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The Fancy Ticklers”  i honestly don’t know if any of you will realize just how genius and funny this one is.  But i do, and that’s really what’s important isn’t it?  It isn’t?  Oh well.

Fast Food Tips – 7/11 is the perfect place to make bad late night choices, but even they might have just topped themselves with their new “Doritos Loaded” line!  Apparently they are Doritos with cheese in them, which sounds like it could be money until you try them and find out they are disgusting.  If i had to say one good thing about them it would be that they are mad cheap, so you don’t have to take my word for it you can go buy some of them on your own and only be out like a $1.79 or something.  i tried them while drunk and i still thought they were horrific but don’t believe me go get some now!  And when these are firing out of your mouth and/or a$$hole i hope you will think about me then as well!

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone enjoyed this masterpiece, and if you didn’t it’s probably because you hate minorities and kids.  But despite that i hope you all have a great weekend, we’re still in July and it’s supposed to be beautiful summer weather till Monday so go out and enjoy it!  And share this blog if you know what’s good for you, because it’s good luck!  Maybe not for you but it is for me!  See you kids on Tuesday!

Cya, @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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