Let’s go away for a while, you and I, to a strange and distant land. Where they speak no word of truth, but we don’t understand anyway. Holiday, far away, to stay on a holiday! Far away, let’s go today in a heartbeat! – Weezer "Holiday"

18 Jul
THE BLOG WHERE i HEAD DOWN THE JERSEY SHORE

What is up kids?

i’ll tell you what’s up, it’s another Friday in July and i’m going down the Jersey shore bitches!  Well maybe not this second, right now i’m probably at my new job counting the seconds until i get to leave.  Although for once it’s only because i’m excited to go on vacation, not like at my old job where i NEEDED to leave that place before i drove a pair of scissors into my jugular.  What a difference a year and a new job makes!

But yeah, work has been the MONEY both literally and figuratively and it truly makes me happy to say that.  But despite all of that i still needs to GO!  My girlfriend and her fam are down the shore already, and as soon as i’m out of here i’m going to join the party.  The pants party.  At least my girlfriend told me i was invited to a pants party…

Which is also why i’m going to tell you all now that i’m taking next Tuesday off and will be back next Friday with an all new blog.  i plan on partying my FACE off this weekend and with work on Monday i don’t want to try and half ass another blog which is what i’ve been doing on my rants lately.  Hopefully you haven’t noticed but whatever, i’m not gonna lie about it.  Especially when some of the reason has to do with the fact that i’m super happy lately and i don’t feel the need to go MAD over nonsense.  Because life is too short, i want to have fun!  YOLO!  And oh yeah, seriously kill me for saying YOLO …

But i’m out bitches!  Enjoy the weekend and your week my friends!  But before you do enjoy this nonsense, it’s good for your brain and it’s good for YOU!!

RANDOM NONSENSE
– So i’m not gonna lie, this still might be my favorite episode we’ve ever done.  I mean yeah “E.T.” was our best one, and “Karate Kid II” was a MASTERPIECE.  And “Teen Wolf” might be the best all around episode we’ve ever done.  And “Look Who’s Talking” was definitely our cutest episode.  And “Rocky IV” DEFINITELY had the craziest smash we’ve ever done…

But i’ve ALWAYS loved the movie “Real Genius” and i really think we knocked it out of the park with this one.  i tried to do it so that if you didn’t know the movie that you would still enjoy our episode, but for real if you don’t know this movie you are BLOWING it and need to watch it ASAP!  It’s classic Val Kilmer at his funniest will William Atherton as the bad guy!  What else could you possibly want!  And it’s some of my best writing, and Rob’s best editing!  Whatever, i don’t care what you kids say.  i give this episode an A plus!

– Speaking of YouTube videos that are hilarious, i saw this on a Tosh.O re-run last night and damn i can’t stop laughing.  Now that i think about it this can also be a “OLD SCHOOL” Tips for Video Games:a bit that i rarely do anymore. Either way, i hope you all enjoy this comedic video that is only 7 seconds long, “Drunk Mario!”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – ATTENTION EVERY BAGEL PLACE I GO TO EVER!  When i order a bacon egg and cheese on an everything bagel with salt and pepper, DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY PUT F*CKING KETCHUP ON THAT $HIT!!!!  GDDAMN i am so sick of this happening every f’n time!  And i don’t know what else to do, because every time i order one and the dumb girl goes “Salt, Pepper, Ketchup?” And i say “For the love of God and everything that’s holy, just salt and pepper please! NO ketchup!”  For some reason they only seem to hear…

  “Wait, ALL you want is ketchup?  You’re saying i should slather the entire thing with disgusting ketchup all over it so that’s all you taste?  Because i mean you ordered a bacon egg and cheese so i thought you might want to taste those flavors.  But instead you said you want me to douche the entire bagel with red awfulness so that’s all you taste since that flavor is SO overpowering.  But whatever sir, you requested a half gallon of ketchup on your sandwich so that is what you’re going to get!”

And oh yeah, my favorite part of this whole ordeal is that i never realize what happened till i get home and i’m totally f*cked.  i hate you ketchup.  i love you Johnny Lats.

“Facebook Etiquette”-

Fast Food Tips – So while i’m not a big chip person i am a fan of contests.  Which is why i’m proud to show all of you the “Flavor Finalists” in picking the next new flavor of Lays potato chips!  i give you Cappuccino, Kettle Cooked Wasabi Ginger, Cheddar Bacon Mac and Cheese and Wavy Mango Salsa!  Wait, why is Mango Salsa Wavy?  That sounds racist for some reason..

Now at first glance you are probably thinking it’s going to be Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese, no contest.  But i think it won’t win for that exact reason. People are going to expect it to taste as good as cheddar bacon mac and cheese and that’s just impossible!  So i’m going to go with Cappuccino and finally be wrong.  But lucky for me, just for buying and eating each bag all by myself to give it the ultimate test i will be a winner either way!

Fast Food Tips – Since it’s Friday and i love you kids so much here’s another great chip invention that you need to know of immediately. Unfortunately Canada is the only country cool enough to sell these right now but i present to you Doritos Roulette, a bag of Doritos where 75% of the bag are just regular Doritos but 25% of the chips are SUPER HOT!!!  i think this is a great idea, except i’d rather buy a bag that had 100% super hot Doritos.  Nonetheless, i know what pansies white people are about spicy stuff so i think it’d be hilarious to watch a bunch of dumb drunk people play this game and watch someone get done up.  Probably because i’m a sick f*ck.  But you are too so good for us!

One last thing on chips, and it has to do with Doritos!  If you read my comment section on my blog and as long as they are not comments by Johnny Lats you should, you probably missed Jay John’s amazing edition with this little gem:  “My new move at 7-11 these days is to buy cool ranch Doritos and load free chili and cheese into the bag. It’s the right move.” – Jay John

Well played Boy Dayrit, well played.

That’s it for me kids!  And speaking of good moves i’m about to go on vacation!  And i hope everyone has a great weekend, just not as great as weekend as i have planned because for once i’m going to be selfish and hog all of the fun.  And by hog all of the fun i mean eat a bacon egg and cheese on a bagel WITHOUT ketchup!

But fine, i won’t hog all of the fun to myself. So i hope you all have an awesome of a weekend as i have planned and i will see you kids next Friday with an all new blog!

Cya Next Friday!  @migueljose_85 on Twitter

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