Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on little jobbies?! Charlie Kelly – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

17 Jun
THE BLOG ABOUT HATING 3 THINGS: MONDAYS, THE NY RANGERS AND FINDING A JOB


What is up kids?
Well it’s Tuesday which means at least it’s not Monday.  Wasn’t yesterday the worst for some reason?  i hate being the ahole who complains about Mondays because yeah we get it, Mondays are THE WORST.  But for reals, yesterday just seemed to drag on and on longer then some of my rants on this blog…
And right now i gotta say i’m feeling the exact opposite of how that awful Pharell song makes me feel whenever i hear it, mostly because i’m still a hungover and tired mess from the weekend.  Although i did learn that i’m just like Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones, in that statistically i didn’t really have a chance of feeling happy today…
But if there is ONE thing that will make me smile today it’s that THE NEW YORK RANGERS ARE OUT OF THE NHL PLAYOFFS!!! Which means it’s FINALLY time to say….
LATER DICKS!!!!
MAN it feels great to drop that “Later Dicks!”  i literally cannot put into words how happy that makes me.  i feel like the darkness that’s been over my soul during these playoffs has been lifted.  i feel like the sun has come out and there is a rainbow into my heart now that the Rangers are going on TWENTY YEARS without a Championship!  
Although i have to say i don’t have the energy to go off on the Rangers today, not the way i’d like to at least.  And no it’s not because i don’t want Albin to stop reading my blog forever.  And as happy as i was on Saturday night watching the Rangers lose in DOUBLE overtime and not even make it to a game 6, and as happy as i was watching both Ranger post game report shows to watch all the Ranger announcers cry over what was a lost season,  i just really don’t have the energy today.  And by energy i mean the energy needed to go into how PATHETIC it is that this team cannot win a Stanley Cup and how it’s a joke to call Henrik Lundqvist the “King” when he’s never won a cup.  i really just don’t have it in me.
So i’m just going to end today’s rant now, and i guess i’ll have to make fun of the New York Rangers another time.  So consider yourself lucky Ranger fans!  You don’t have to feel the rath from me today.  So enjoy today’s “Random Nonsense” everyone!  Right after this photo of Henrik Lundqvist after he gave up the Stanley Cup winning goal…
RANDOM NONSENSE

– So if you’re wondering why i used that Charlie Kelly quote to start my blog off today it’s because i’ve got two job interviews with two different places trying to get a new job today.  Apparently writing this blog and dancing on weekends just doesn’t pay as much as it used to anymore.  i blame the economy!  But yeah if you feel like sending any good vibes my way please do it because i need all the help i can get.  With getting a new job, not with my hot dance moves!
– Speaking of huge jiggly natural boobs, some of you must be wondering why i didn’t wish Here Comes the Money… “Hall of Famer” Miss Kate Upton a happy birthday last week.  And the reason is simple, that’s enough birthdays for her!  i get that she can’t be a teen forever but c’mon, she’s 22 now for crying out loud, i’ve had it! 
But that doesn’t mean i’m not going to show a picture of her in as close to her birthday suit as i can get. Because if you’ve noticed i haven’t had full out nudity on this blog yet, nor have i ever really cursed either.  Have you realized that about my blog?  i mean yeah i may say $hit and f*ck a lot but i always block it out, this way if you get and/or read this blog at work it’ll still get through and not get picked up by any work email alerts or anything. Pretty smart huh?  Ah who cares, just check out this picture of Kate Upton that WWTDD.com posted. If you notice and you may have to look REALLY closely, her holiest of holies try to say hello and we find out that there is a reason that some of her pictures have to be photoshopped on Sports Illustrated…
“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – So i take really long showers.  Like obnoxiously long.  i would say i easily take a 20 minute shower every day before work.  i could probably sleep an extra half hour if i just took a short 5 minute shower but instead i’d rather wake up early and shower it up until all of the hot water is gone.  idk, i guess i just feel like the longer i’m in the shower the longer it is before i have to face reality and start my day.  And normally it’s not a problem when i do it at my house, but it’s the worst when i’m showering at a hotel or at a friends house or something like that because i hate feeling like i’m getting judged for how long my showers are.  Mostly because if you’re in the shower for more then 20 minutes people are just going to assume that i’m whacking off.  Which isn’t true! 
And trust me, i know plenty of guys who whack off in the shower.  Hell, i’ve seen them do it!  But that just isn’t and never will be my thing no matter how long i’m in there.  And it’s sad, because now my friends are sitting there thinking i’m whacking my balleens off for 20 minutes straight in the shower when in reality all i’m doing is trying to scour off a night’s worth of shame and regret.  And with my horrific lifestyle trust me, that can take awhile… 
Fast Food Tips – Do you love White Castle?  Do you love Sriracha hot sauce?  If you answered “yes” to both you are a class act and a true American, which is why i’m happy to say White Castle now has new Sriracha sandwiches!  There’s the Sriracha Chicken slider, The ULTIMATE Sriracha Chicken Slider for the most powerful diarrhea known to man, and to finish off your poor butthole they also have Crispy Jalapeno cheese fries.  My advice to you is to grab a bunch of these and eat them while on the toilet and/or while in the shower to save on valuable clean up time.  Although the shower i have to take after eating any of these Sriracha sandwiches gets doubled to 40 minutes…
 Either way i’m grabbing a case of these bad boys, taping my will to my chest and i’ll see you a$$holes in hell!
And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone enjoyed the free ha ha’s and if you did please feel free to share and/or tell a friend or two or 10 about my blog, won’t ya?
i’ll be on my annual camping trip with my best friends this week but don’t worry your pretty little heads about me because i’m STILL gonna put out another hilarious blog this Friday.  So have a great next few days and i’ll cya then!
Just not before i drop it one more time… Hey NY Rangers,
LATER DICKS!!!
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