You know what I learnt losing that duel? I learnt that I’ll never win. Not that way. That’s their game, their rules. I’m not going to fight them: I’m going to f*ck them. That’s what I know, that’s what I am, and only by admitting what we are can we get what we want. – Peytr "Littlefinger" Baelish "Game of Thrones"

13 Jun

What is up kids?  
It’s Friday the 13th!  And apparently there’s a full moon tonight as well.  And do you know what that means?!?!?  
Nothing, it means absolutely nothing.  It’s just a coincidence and in the scheme of things who really cares.  Do you honestly think i believe in stupid superstitions?  Nope, not this guy.
But i’ll tell you one thing i do believe in and it’s not segues.  It’s Game of Thrones which has its Season 4 Finale this Sunday!!!

And without giving away any spoilers i will say that i honestly never thought there would be a show that i was into more then “LOST” but i finally found one that’s close.  And don’t get me wrong, “Breaking Bad” is still probably the best show ever.  But the thing with B Bad is that the greatness in that show really all comes down to one of the most incredible performances in television history, Bryan Cranston as Walter White.  He’s bar none one of the greatest television characters of all time and to argue otherwise is just foolish.

But whereas B Bad revolves around the world of Heisenberg, “Game of Thrones” and “LOST” revolve around a cast of characters who also happen to be the greatest characters i’ve ever seen on television.  And yeah yeah the GoT books might be better then the show.  But let’s pretend i’m a lazy f*ck who would much rather just watch it on t.v. which makes the show the best thing ever!

Quick note, have you noticed all of the meme’s i’m using in today’s blog?  If you haven’t figured it out yet i’ll just tell you now that i’m a hungover disaster and can barely write this genius right now.  And if you hadn’t figured that out yet then you really don’t know me that well and you are apparently not as smart as i are!

Although speaking of meme’s, i steal a HUGE amount of Facebook meme’s from my boy and Ramapo fraternity brother Bill H and it’s about time he got some real credit.  So for now he’ll be joining me and Jay John posting hilarious stuff on my blog’s Here Comes the Money Facebook page.  Which if you haven’t “liked” my FB yet you are BLOWING IT and you should go do so now!  And if you are already a fan first of all thank you very much, but also help me welcome Bill to the page!  He’ll sign his posts “Bill H” or “BH” whatever he wants, and you all know “JJ” is for Jay John.  Man, i have to literally spell out everything for my readers!

But since it’s impossible to talk about Thrones without giving away any more spoilers i’m just going to shut up now.  Although for real people, either get HBO or steal someone’s HBO GO password and/or get on Torrent or Hulu and f’n watch this show already!  It’s probably too late to catch up for the Finale on Sunday but drop every other show you’re watching and get into this now because it’s the f’n MONEY!  Unless of course you are a hot girl, then you probably shouldn’t bother watching this.  Because this show is for nerds, and i get that you’re too busy being hot and watching Housewives fight to pay attention to this.  And that’s fine, us guys appreciate whatever you girls have to do to stay so hot.  So thank you for that!!! And enjoy the Finale!!!


– So before all of the hot girls who watch Game of Thrones get mad at me, let me just say that i was just kidding!  i know a ton of hot girls who watch this show!  And speaking of hot girls that watch Thrones that Jay John is in love with, do you all know about Comicbook Girl 19?  Yes i know Albin does but the rest of you probably don’t.  She’s a YouTube web series star who breaks down things like Game of Thrones, comics, Summer movies, and also books on Her Youtube channel.  She’s cool and funny and informative so if you have trouble following Thrones because there are a MILLION characters and you can’t remember everyone’s name and/or face she helps explain it all perfectly!

She’s basically VHS Breakdown for comics and Game of Thrones, except she’s way better looking and funnier and smoother on camera and knowledgeable then me.  Alright fine she’s not funnier.  But if you want to learn the history of the Lannisters and House Stark and the Targaryens and make your show experience a million times cooler then it already is, go check out her page and you’ll be hooked.  i promise!  Although watch the first two seasons of GoT first so you at least have a clue of what she’s talking about.
– By the way, if you’re waiting for me to talk about the “World” Cup because i’m Mexican then you are wrong and you are wracist.  i can’t f’n stand soccer!  It’s slow and boring and everyone flops more then Lebron James and there’s no scoring and when there is scoring there are ties and FIFA is an evil organization that takes advantage of poorer Third World countries.  So yeah you can drop your racist thoughts about me and soccer on this blog right now because i ain’t talking about it! 
“OLD SCHOOL” Tips for Video Games:  i know it’s been a LONG time since i’ve done this bit, but considering it’s Friday the 13th and Legend of Zelda is the greatest game ever i thought it would make sense to bring this hilarious but rarely used bit back today!  And admit it, if you get the joke then this bit is FANTASTIC…
“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – As much as i love boozing, and as much as i love eating, i rarely do both things at the same time.  First of all, i am the definition of a binge drinker.  i don’t consider myself an alcoholic because alcoholics drink all the time every day and i definitely don’t do that.  In fact, if i know i can only have like 2 or 3 beers, or if i know i can’t get totally hammered then i just won’t drink at all.  i don’t come home from work and crack open a beer to relax, because i don’t drink beer to relax i just drink to get wasted. So when i do drink i’m usually full speed ahead with Blackoutsville as my destination. 
But as far as eating goes i either eat before i drink or after i drink, i rarely do both at the same time.  Mostly because if i’m drinking i’m trying to get bombed, and eating slows down that process.  i don’t like the feeling of being super full and trying to get wasted on top of that, it’s just too much.  So i will either eat and then drink my face off or i’ll just eat later in the night and most likely throw everything up everywhere before i pass out.  And yeah this really isn’t a funny story or anecdote, but sometimes i write things just to see if anyone else fells and/or is the same way.  Plus the title is RANDOM NONSENSE and this entire paragraph certainly fits the bill for both those descriptions.  Alright fine, it’s a cry for help.  Are you happy?!? HELP ME!!!
Fast Food Tips – Bacon and orgasms are the greatest thing on the planet.  And while i’m trying to figure out a way to combine both of them and become a billionaire someone else has already figured out how to combine the smell of bacon and doing the laundry with “SizzL Bacon Scented Dryer Sheets.”   So to answer your question the answer is yes, there is a God!
Fast Food Tips – So that really wasn’t much of a “Fast Food Tip” was it?  What could be worse then that?  How about TWO “Fast Food Tips” that aren’t really tips?  What kind of ahole would do that on his blog?  This guy!  Which still makes me better then the guy who forgot to add the “F” on this sign…
And that’s it for me today kids!  i  hope everyone has a great weekend despite the fact that it’s Friday the 13th and it’s raining and there is a full moon out which you KNOW means certain disaster if you believe in that sort of thing.  But i don’t believe in the Beatles, i believe in myself.  
So have a great weekend, try to stay dry and i’ll see you all next Tuesday with an all new comedy blog!

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