I’m grateful to intelligent people. That doesn’t mean educated. That doesn’t mean intellectual. I mean really intelligent. What black old people used to call ‘mother wit’ means intelligence that you had in your mother’s womb. That’s what you rely on. You know what’s right to do. – Maya Angelou

30 May
What is up kids?

The world lost a great one this week, as all of the news and social media mourned the loss of Maya Angelou.  Although to be honest other then knowing some of her more famous quotes i really don’t know that much about the woman, other then the fact that we had to read “Why the Caged Bird Sings” in one of my classes in high school and i didn’t really dig or care about it at all then. In fact, i’m pretty sure i used Cliff Notes to get through whatever project we had, and if you don’t know what “Cliffs Notes” are it was basically small paperback editions of Wikipedia articles that us old people had to use to cheat.

So yeah i won’t get all pretentious about pretending i’m the biggest Maya Angelou fan ever or anything, especially when i really don’t know about her life’s history or what she stood for.  But people seem to have gotten a lot of strength and good from her work, and whenever we lose people that made a positive impact in people’s lives i’ll never have trouble paying respect where respect is due.  Especially because it almost always seems like we lose the good people on this planet, while evil lunatics like Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney get to roam the Earth for what feels like an eternity.

But whenever people get sad about losing someone or get down about depressing hardships that are going on in their lives like i’m going through now, sometimes it’s best to just remember the Bill Hicks quote i used in the picture to start off today’s blog, and to remember that “it’s just a ride.”  It’s just a ride kids, it’s just a ride.

And that’s how i always want to live my life, one with eyes of love instead of all the fear that we have.  Because fear will cripple you.  Fear will stop you from making the changes that deep down inside you know you need to make.  Fear keeps us closed off from the rest of the world whereas love is what brings us all together and makes up what life is really all about.  “Hey a$$hole, did you just post a Bill Hicks quote and then explain it in the next paragraph using your own words?  You REALLY don’t have anything to write about today do you?

No, no i don’t.  And instead of trying to explain what Hicks was trying to say any longer i’ll just post the rest of his quote for you to read because he says it better then me or anyone else for that matter could have said it anyway.


– So after over 2 months and 9 tremendous episodes it all comes down to this, the SEASON FINALE of VHS Breakdown!  And i know i’ve hyped up our show before, and there are definitely some episodes that i’m prouder of then others.  But i cannot stress enough that this Season Finale is going to be the BIGGEST and BEST episode that we’ve ever done!  How could it not be when we are reviewing the movie that ENDED OUR COLD WAR WITH RUSSIA….  The EPIC 1985 Classic, “ROCKY IV”

If you want to be cool and let everyone know that you’re going to watch it, or more importantly if you want to bring a little sunshine into a slightly overweight yet hilarious Mexican’s heart then go to our VHS Breakdown Facebook page and click that you’re “attending” on this Finale EVENT!  Go here NOW!!!

– Speaking of places to go for more of my comedy, i did my FOURTH ever guest blog spot on the hilarious “Happy Hour Comic” a fantastic Web comic about drinking beers and hanging at bars with friends created by the talented artist Jim Kohl and his partner in crime Phil Kriser. You may remember Jim from doing both my show’s logo and the amazing cartoon drawing of me for Season Dos!

He’s insanely talented right?  Well he’s also really funny, and it’s a real honor for me to be asked back every year when he does his “Guest Week” strips, a week where he lets other great artists do his strip and has several guest bloggers all week as well.  But my guest work is up on their site today, so head over to his site at “Happy Hour Comic” and leave him a comment so he knows that picking me for a guest was a great choice!

And while i’m at it, if you want even MORE miguel jose comedy and let’s be honest it’s impossible not to, go check out my sports article on AlmostHallofFame.com where i have my own column called “Fielder’s Choice.”  This last one is a perfect read if you are a miserable New York Mets fan and hate baseball, or if you’re a happy Yankees fan and just want to enjoy reading how miserable a Mets fan really is.  It’s kind of f*cked up if that’s why you read it but whatever, i won’t be picky.  Just go there!!

A Great Name for a News Weatherman!– “Brick Brisk”  
Haha that’s a joke Jay John put on his personal Facebook page and i couldn’t wait to steal that bit and make it mine.  Although is it still stealing if i give him credit for it here while i reap the benefits of the laughs HE should be getting?  Yes, yes it is.  
– So i’m finding that my preferences in pornographic materials are just getting weirder and weirder.  Not that i want to get TOO graphic about it but i think i’m done with lesbians and MILF’S and cheerleaders, all that stuff is SO boring and so 2000 and late.  My new thing is watching “bird” porn, and if it sounds strange it’s because it is and i’m just a weirdo.  It’s kind of hard to explain it though, so maybe i should just show you a picture of what i’m talking about…
“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – Speaking of porno, isn’t it weird that sometimes we don’t have a Pope?  i mean yeah we have a Pope now, but there was a time period where that last guy just quit out of nowhere and then they had to figure who to elect as a new Pope, which meant there was a time period when there was no Pope.  How is that possible?  How do they not have like a “fill-in” Pope just in case of situations like this?  Like a “Vice” Pope if you will.  Someone who gets sworn in, but is really just keeping the seat warm until the “official” Pope gets elected.   Although now that i think about it, keeping the seat “warm” sounds a little creepy when you start talking about Catholic Popes…

Anyways, how come we don’t have some kind of “substitute” Pope for times like these?  i’m sure someone would be down to be a substitute Pope.  Although i guess it would be the worst thing ever if we got a substitute Pope like those substitute teachers we would get in high school.  You know, the ones that REALLY wanted to make us learn!  The kind of substitute that would actually “try” to teach us things and pretend we actually cared about anything they said while the real teacher was away.  Way to go dick!  No one cares!!!  Just take attendance, put on a video and shut your trap already!

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope you all enjoyed today’s blog, and i hope you go check me out at HappyHourComic.com as well as AlmostHallofFame.com and out the guest blog work that i’ve been doing.  And i also hope you go to the VHS Breakdown Facebook Page to say that you will be attending the Season Finale next Thursday at 4:20.  And yes i realize i’m basically telling you to revolve your entire life around my comedy but since i’m f*cking hilarious and you obviously have nothing better to do anyway you might as well just do what i said.  
Oh and one last “command” from me, have a great weekend everybody!!!


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