It’s not easy being drunk all of the time. If it were easy everyone would do it. – Tyrion Lannister "Game of Thrones"

8 Apr

What is up kids?
So i hope everyone had a fantastic weekend!  Although i know it’s Tuesday and the weekend feels like it was FOREVER ago.  Especially with all this grey and rainy weather we have to deal with nonstop.  Although speaking of “Grey”, how about the return of Theon Greyjoy and the rest of the families on “Game of Thrones” last Sunday????
Alright two things. First, that was the WORST segue to a rant that i’ve ever done in my blog EVER.  And secondly, don’t worry everyone (Chuck) because i’m not going to give away any spoilers for Game of Thrones in my blog.  So for those of you lagging behind and who are so 2000 and late and haven’t seen it yet and who are BLOWING it in life you won’t get punished for it here.  Although what do people do when they aren’t current on these big shows?  Personally i find that if i am not up to date on a show like Thrones or “True Detective” on HBO and then end up on Twitter or Facebook that any kind of social media spoils EVERYTHING, and the only way to not have it ruined is to stay off the Interwebs all night, and then the next morning as well.
For example, i know that the True Detective season finale wasn’t that great.  And i also know it’s a great show with a very interesting idea that took a somewhat obvious yet uninteresting turn at the end of the season… and i never watched one episode!!  And i also know that “The How i Met Your Mother” finale was TERRIBLE, and that it basically made the last two seasons of that show into absolute BULL$HIT and the ending was predictable and frustrating and nobody was happy. i know this despite never watching this show either.  And oh yeah, there was no William Zabka in the finale!!
Anyways, the point of this half assed rant is really about how there is just too much gddamn good television on Sunday nights!  Why do they have to literally put on every single show that i watch on at the same time on the same night each week?  C’mon jerks!  This Sunday at 9 i had to choose between “Bar Rescue,” “Game of Thrones,” “Cosmos,” AND “Wrestlemania!!!”  That’s right, i still watch wrestling sometimes even though i’m not a pre-pubescent teen boy.  So Suck it!  You, not the hot young boy i was just talking about…

Speaking of Wrestlemania, every year on that day i go to some sort of all you can eat BBQ with my friends as our Wrestlemania tradition.  A tradition that we’ve held since 1999, which coincidentally is also the same year that Kate Upton was born.  Some of those years we went to the Brazilian Rodizio all you can eat BBQ, but lately we’ve switched it up to Korean BBQ.  If you don’t know the difference between the two Brazilian is the one where you have the red and green stick on your table and when you have the green part up they bring you non stop meats on skewers and slice it up to your delight on your plate until you say no mas!

Korean BBQ on the other hand, you go up and select all the meats you want to eat and then you come back and get to throw them on the grill yourself, because at your table is your very own grill that you can cook and season the meats in any way you want!  Here’s a picture of Jay John making himself a few steaks.

But i had an incredible weekend, and hopefully this week flies by so we can enjoy another one again soon!  Although before i get to my nonsense, i just want to give thanks to the fact that my mother had major surgery on her upper back yesterday and Thank God she came out okay.  Obviously any kind of major surgery is scary, but especially work on your spine and ESPECIALLY any work on my mother.  She probably has no clue how much she means to me and has meant to me my entire life.  But i honestly believe if there is any shred of goodness and decency in me it is all because of her.  The being an obnoxious loud mouth who always has to be the center of attention at parties i clearly get from my dad.  But my mother is one of those truly good people that always tries to do what is right, and anytime i do anything wrong or bad i can hear her voice inside my head telling me to stop.  i don’t always listen, but at least i know that what i’m doing is wrong!!

But anyways, the surgery was successful and it seems like she already has more movement and strength then she had before and i just wanted to say i’m extremely grateful because i don’t know what i would do without her.  And it’s her birthday tomorrow so if you can make a comment on Facebook, either on this post or on my Facebook page saying “Happy Birthday Sandy!” That would be awesome because she definitely earned this one!! 🙂


– So is everyone enjoying this season of “VHS Breakdown?”  You should be, it’s the gddamn money!  And i’m SUPER excited for this weeks episode, it just may be our most ambitious one to date.  And just in case you’re curious about what movie we’re going to review, i’ll just say that where we’re going, we don’t need roads….

A Great Name for a Punk Band! – “The Jive Turkeys”  And yes i just saw “Semi-Pro” with Will Ferrell this weekend and that’s what made me think of it.

– One last thing about Wrestlemania, if you didn’t hear about it the Undertaker’s EPIC 21-0 undefeated streak at Wrestlemania was finally ended by the monster Brock Lesnar.  Which is the biggest upset in wrestling and/or MMA history!  Except for the fact that the Undertaker just turned 49 YEARS OLD, and that Brock Lesnar is almost 15 years younger then him and the former UFC Heavyweight champion of the World.  So is it REALLY that surprising when you think about it?

All i know is that it was an incredible streak, a feat that will never be matched again.  But it’s time to give a heartfelt goodbye to his undefeated record, and by heartfelt goodbye i mean it’s time to say to that streak…


“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – Is there anything worse then walking into a public bathroom while you’re chewing gum?  i mean not like you do it on purpose, you obviously don’t think, “hey i’m walking into a disgusting mall bathroom filled with unshowered $hitting aholes (literally) that i don’t know, i’d better pop in this piece of gum!”  Or maybe you are like that and you’re a weirdo who probably shouldn’t be reading my blog.

i just mean when you’re chewing gum walking around the mall, you decide you gotta take a pee so you walk in the restroom and the next thing you know that sugary piece of rubber in your mouth starts to taste like every vile and disgusting smell going on in that room until you’ve basically got a mouthful of diarrhea.  It sounds pretty disgusting but i gotta believe i’m not the only who makes that mistake, and hopefully after reading this bit you know to spit that $hit out before discovering this fact for yourself!

Fast Food Tips –  Unless you’ve been living under a rock and/or not reading my blogs then you should know now that Taco Bell has been offering a new breakfast menu.  Because if there’s a right way to start your day it’s by eating a rice and bean and bacon breakfast taco and then crapping your brains out the rest of the day  But McDonalds knows all about Taco Bell’s quest to claim the breakfast throne, and instead of trying to overtake them like the Stark family of Winterfell trying to reclaim the kingdom they have instead decided to give away free coffee at breakfast!  
That’s right, during breakfast hours through April 13th everyone can get a free small coffee at McDonalds.  Which means if you are as smart as Tyrion Lannister you will still go to Taco Bell to try their new breakfast menu and THEN you will stop by McDonalds just to get their free coffee.  That is truly the honorable behavior of a king!!!
Holy S that is IT for me today kids!!  i hope everyone enjoyed today’s blog, and if you did tell a friend or two about it that you know could use a laugh.  But i hope you all have a great week, and don’t forget to go to Blip on Thursday at 4:20 for an all new episode of “VHS Breakdown!” This one just might be our biggest episode EVER!  And oh yeah come back here on Friday for an all new blog too!


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