All my life i’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals. – Homer Simpson

28 Mar

What is up kids?

It’s a beautiful day to be alive! And it’s Friday, which means for most of you it’s the start of your weekend, and the only chance that you get to relax and/or party it up in your life. So make sure that whatever you do today that you’re enjoying it!  These times in our lives are not limitless my friends, in fact it’s the exact opposite.  But that’s not a cause to be sad, we should all be happy that we even get to be on this planet and enjoy this wacky ride that is called life!

And i also must admit i’m in a good mood because the second episode of my show “VHS Breakdown” came out yesterday and it’s probably one of the funniest things i’ve ever created in my life.  If you haven’t seen it yet then you are BLOWING IT, but lucky for you you have a chance to redeem yourself right now by clicking below!!

By the way, could everyone do me ONE quick favor please?  If you could go to our actual Blip show page and then click “FOLLOW” on our show that would be the money!  i do my best to not ask for favors all of the time, besides reading my blogs twice a week and watching and sharing every episode of my show of course.

But if you could go HERE TO OUR BLIP PAGE and just hit the follow button that’s right by my sexy cartoon face you would make my already awesome day a little more awesomer and more importantly i’ll truly appreciate it!

If you just did that for me thank you, you’re the money.  It’s a wonderful thing to have great friends in life, and it is with that pure joy that i’m ready to start this fantastic weekend.  “Jeebus Christmas miguel you are the WORST!!  You are so cheesy and lame and why do you have to write an entire rant like you’re doing some 1960’s love in?  It’s not funny and we hate you!”

Yeah, yeah.  i know it can be a bit much sometimes.  But i don’t f’n care!!  Life is too short to worry about playing by all of life’s stupid little rules all the time.  “Whoo hoo you’re a guy, you should never show emotion!  Boys wear blue and girls wear pink!  Boys don’t cry, little babies do!”  And all other sorts of Alpha male crap that is complete male bull$hit and testosterone driven nonsense.  Just be nice to people kids, it makes things better for everyone.                                                                                                                                
i’m over it everyone!  i say do whatever the F makes you happy and comfortable and that’s exactly what i’m going to do.  i’m going to keep enjoying my life as much as gddamn possible and i encourage you all to do the same!  And besides, doesn’t hate and anger weigh so much more on your shoulders then just being happy?  i feel bad for people who don’t have this life thing figured out.  They get caught up in all sorts of random nonsense instead of just appreciating the life that we’re given and making the most of this time that we have.  And oh yeah, speaking of Random Nonsense lets get to it already!


-So if you’ve been paying attention to the news then you realize that weed is not only legal in some states but it’s also selling like hot cakes!  And speaking of hot cakes, they make a great food to eat while high on legal weed!  Or so i’ve been told since i’ve NEVER tried “the pot” before…

But if you want even better advice to use while you’re high, then you should check out the website “” a great place to purchase high quality weed products!  And not only that they got all sorts of other cool stuff too, so go surf on their site and buy a present or two or 5 for a friend or more importantly get something for yourself. Like i said it’s Friday!!

A Great Name for a Punk Band! – “The Holy Smokes”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – So i haven’t talked about this before but i guess i can admit it now… one of my ex-girlfriends was a racist.  i mean REALLY racist.  Or at least i think she was.  If you ask me, i say the reason we broke up was because she was a white girl who couldn’t handle bringing her Mexican boyfriend home to her parents.  She says the reason she dumped me was because she was embarrassed to take a 30 year old to her Junior prom.  But we all know that’s just code for being racist!

And i would have been a great date!  i dig all the current kids music, i listen to Lady Goo Goo, Snoopy Dog, and Wonderful direction.  i would have even gotten all of her friends wine coolers and Zima!  But whatever, hopefully one day we will learn to stop being so racist as a country.  We have a black president and that is a step in the right direction for America i guess.

“OLD SCHOOL” Tips for Video Games:

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE – How come when you go fishing you have to go SO gddamn early?  Like 5 am and bull$hit like that?    i’d be totally down to go fishing if i didn’t have to wake up so early.  But if my choices are to be on a boat before the sun comes up in the freezing cold, or passed out in my bed while i’m totally happy in dreamland i’ll take my bed for $200 Alex!

Do fish really not eat all day from 8 am through 5 pm?  For real, are these fish just never hungry or they never want to eat at those times?  i can’t imagine that’s true, like maybe if most fish didn’t want to eat there would at least still be a few of those fat f*ck fish that are down to eat all the time that you could still catch later in the afternoon.  Do you think they have fat fish like we have fat people?  Because if they do have them i bet those obese aholes eat all gddamn day!  But yeah i’m sure there are all sorts of studies or actual facts to back up why i am wrong here but i still think i am right.

That’s it for me today kids!  Hopefully i inspired you all to go out and have a great weekend but if not i hope i at least made you laugh a little.  And if i did neither then you are reading the wrong gddamn blog!

But have fun this weekend kids and i’ll be back here on Tuesday with an all new one!

Cya Tuesday at noon!  @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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