Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King Jr.

21 Jan


What is up kids?

i’ll tell you what’s up, i’m taking a snow day today!!

And no i don’t mean i’m not writing a new blog today.  And yes, i do realize how many double negatives i use in some of my sentences in each blog.  i know it ain’t not correct but man i sure do find it funny!

Anyways, my point is i’m not writing a new rant for today’s blog.  Instead, i’m going to have my first ever guest blogger!  And the best thing is he doesn’t even know that i’ve chosen him to do this!  Mostly because he has already written this rant on my blog before, only it was in my comments section a year ago.  And while i know i have hundreds of readers for each and every blog, few to none of them come back to check out the “Comment” section unless they were cool enough to leave one themselves. Which doesn’t happen nearly as much as it should!  Especially because most times the most fun and ruthless stuff goes on in my comment section, no joke.

But in honor of Martin Luther King Jr, here is a rant that was written to me in my Comments section around a year ago today.  It’s pretty raw, which is what i would expect from my boy Burns.  But it is also very honest, and 100% true, so it’s got that going for it.  But without further Apu, i was saying “Boo Urns” not “Boo Burns!”  Here’s my first guest rant ever!

“I have an idea, let’s build an economy based on two things: genocide and slavery. Wait, here me out. There’s all this land out there that is unoccupied. Well, the “native population,” has been living on it for 1000 years but we’ll just kill them off through war, blankets with small pox, etc. 

Then, once we have all their land, we’re going to kidnap, import, and enslave thousands of black native people from africa to work our land for us. We’ll be able to produce cotton at cut rate prices, northern factories will buy it to fuel what will become the industrial revolution, and we’ll become a major international superpower. 

Thats the history of your country, “America the free.” And when people first started to ask questions and fight back, the powerful men who controlled this system literally tried to secede from the United States and start their own country rather than give up slavery and cheap labor. “Home of the brave.” That’s the pre-history of capitalism, which everyone says is so great but never thinks about as the economy crashes and they max out their credit cards. 

Somehow, they tell us, the reckless pursuit of profit and individual greed will lead to an equitable society. WTF? In reality, it leads to stagnating salaries, lower standard of living, wars, and recessions. Oh you don’t like that? Well, neither did MLK and about 10,000,000 people he helped organize. To do it, he advocated non-violence, even in the face of violence. 

Now that’s brave. In fact, it sounds like a hero to me. Yes, he helped lead the civil rights movement, and fought racist a$$holes. But when he died he was organizing people to demand an “economic bill of rights” for all Americans. He said we should put together a “multi-racial army” and march on Washington to demand a real government for the people. Where the profits from our economy are not skimmed off by what we might call the 1% and politicians actually look out for the citizens. In 1968, he began organizing a ‘Poor People’s Campaign’ to do just that. He saw the connection between the old injustice of slavery / segregation and the newer injustices of the modern economy. He began making those connections in speeches, and asking people to think about it and maybe join the campaign.

That year he went to Memphis, Tenn -not for a civil rights march- but to support workers who were on strike and to demand economic reforms. And it was there he was murdered. 

It’s no surprise that the owners of your company and powerful politicians wouldn’t want you to remember a guy like that. So no, f you, you can’t have the day off. Sieg WHOOO, land of the free.”  –  Burns


-Is there a reason on the planet that you would not order everything you need to buy on Amazon?  And i’m not spokesperson for or anything, i’m just willing to admit it’s the greatest website on the planet that does not involve pornography.
Anyways, are there people that still drive to stores and walk around with other a$$holes and wait in line and buy things?  Because if their are people like that they are blowing it in life and need to wake up and smell the “Prime” already.  Have you all tried “Amazon Prime” yet?  Ugh, my groin gets wet just thinking about the Prime.  It’s a service that costs 70 beans for the year but you get Free 2 day shipping on almost everything on Amazon.  Plus you get a ton of movies you can watch for free and you can read all sorts of books on Kindle.  Which now that i explained everything you get with Prime you realize it’s totally worth it and totally understandable now why i would talk about my moist upper inner thighs.  But i’ll stop now because i love you guys.  
“Facebook Etiquette”- 

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- Why haven’t they come up with “colored” salt yet?  And no i don’t mean that there should be a “White’s Only” salt and also a colored section.  i’m saying salt is basically clear or a faint white and hard to see, which means we usually put too much on our food because like i just said it’s hard to see.  So you really don’t get a good idea on how much you’re putting on your food.

But if salt was a different color, like a bright red or blue you’d be like “Holy $hitballs i’m putting too much salt on my food!” and you’d probably calm down with it for a hot one.  Good idea right?  No? It sounds totally disgusting and no one wants to put different colored salt all over their steak or eggs or anything?  i guess Martin Luther King Jr’s dream might not live on…

“OLD SCHOOL” Tips for “OLD SCHOOL” Video Games:  This is by far the WORST name i have for a bit, besides the fact that i never use it AND/OR even give tips about games, i just talk about them.

But i’m too lazy to think of a new name, and i’m still not going to give any actual tips.  All i know is this is the coolest sweater ever!

Fast Food FACTSSo apparently that “5 dollar, 5 dollar, 5 dollar foot long!” song from Subway is not just a catchy jingle aimed at making you drive your car off of a bridge.  This song is also turning out to be a straight up lie!  Thanks to some Australian guy who put a picture of these so called foot longs next to a ruler showing it to only be 11 inches, Subway has now come out and said that because of the different types of bread that is freshly made! That sometimes the sandwich is not always 12 inches.  Those gddman lying cheating basterds!  It’s not bad enough i have to hear that awful commercial all the time and that your sandwiches are garbage and only partially filled with crappy meat.  Now i’m not even getting all the crappy meat i paid for??  This is an outrage!  Although i have to be honest, i guess i would be kind of a hypocrite to call someone out for measuring something with a ruler and lying about how many inches something was…

And that’s it for me today kids!  This was one pretty fantastic blog if i do say so myself, so make sure you share this piece with your friends and show them how funny and sexy i am!

But i hope everyone has a great week, and good luck in this snow and i hope we don’t get douched.  But come back here on Friday for an all new blog, i’m FINALLY going to talk about President Obama and his comments about weed, that good old sticky icky.  So i’ll see you back here then!

Cya Friday, Follow @migueljose_85 on Twitter


2 Responses to “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. – Martin Luther King Jr.”

  1. Anonymous January 22, 2014 at 2:27 am #

    way to forget about – use that as the search engine and search for the 'Ryan And Jenny Dempster Family Foundation Inc' .. with that part of most purchases you make will go toward funding 22Q research which effects our niece .. support a cause while your out shopping! your welcome =)


  2. Blogger Burns January 23, 2014 at 3:52 pm #

    My first blog, nice me. Thanks, I'm honored. If you have 22 minutes and 49 seconds I really recommend checking this link out. Recorded in 1967 but it sounds like he's talking about the world today. Don't sleep on it.


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