A special thank you to veterans and their families from all us lazy cowards. Help here http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org – Jim Gaffigan

12 Nov

What is up kids?

Speaking of kids, everyone help me say hello to the newest addition to my family my nephew Kieran! That picture above is the Doctor holding Kieran in front of my brother Tomas and my amazing sister in law Heather.  And if you notice you can see me there at the bottom looking happy as ever!  Wait, he doesn’t look happy.  And does this mean i’m “Scar” in this situation??  That murderous and super angry sibling who is jealous of all my brother’s love and success and family and is the worst Disney villain of all time??  Am i going to turn on my brother as he is hanging from the ledge, and all i have to do is let him go and then I WILL BE KING??!?!??!

Haha no, definitely not.  Although i am mad smart and my voice is deep and sexy just like Scar, i couldn’t be happier for my little brother.  Honestly, to walk into that hospital room and see that little bundle of joy they both created for the first time only a few hours after he entered this world i literally felt a happiness i don’t know if i’ve ever felt before.  And this wasn’t the first time i’ve become an uncle either.  My older sister gave me a niece and nephew who i love to pieces, but i think i was just too young when they were born to really understand it.  Which is funny because i was at least 22 when nephew was born so it’s not like i was an infant myself or anything haha.  Although maybe i was, because MAN it took me a long time to mature and finally grow up!

Oh really? YOU grew up??  When did this happen?  Because i’m pretty sure you’re still not married or have any kids of your own, and you write a comedy blog all about puking and deucing and fast food!”  Hey, that’s not true!  i write about other things as well!  Like that time i wrote about… alright fine, i’m still an immature ahole and i’m never going to change no matter how old i get! Suck it!!

But yeah this was the first time i was around for a birth of a baby that i’m even close to understanding the significance of it all.  Or at the very least understand it as much as a person who’s never been through the process can understand it i guess.  But yeah to see a baby open his eyes and see the world for the first time i realized that the beginning of this sentence isn’t just a lame metaphor that everybody uses.  It’s actually the craziest thing in the world to look at a baby who is opening his eyes and seeing the world for the first time!

Which capped off a ridiculous emotional weekend for me, because to start it off by going to Pete’s wake and then ending it in a hospital meeting my nephew was a little extreme to say the least.  And to everyone that reached out and said they appreciated my blog dedicated to Pete i just want to say Thank You.  It hurt a lot and i wish i didn’t have to write it, but if anyone who knew Pete got anything out of what i wrote well then i’m glad i did it.  i was just trying to share my feelings and say what i could.

But besides being the greatest Disney movie of all time “The Lion King” sure did get that “Circle of Life” thing right.  That’s just how life works i guess, and to question it and/or to try and figure it all out just leads to madness.  But i couldn’t be happier for my brother Tomas and his wife, i’m literally ecstatic to be an uncle again and to meet Kieran this weekend, and at this moment in my life i couldn’t be happier with all of the love and family and friends that i’m surrounded with.  So enjoy your day today everyone and enjoy the free ha ha’s!


– Two quick but important things. First off, yesterday was Veterans day.  But the people who were brave enough to protect my right to write whatever nonsense and bull$hit that i please each week, as well as give me the freedom to do so deserve our support every day.  So if you want to do a good deed please donate a ducket or two to The Wounded Warrior Project.  i know i just did and i feel better for it.  And you will too!

And in case you haven’t heard, and since most of my readers are from America i have to assume there’s a good chance you haven’t, there was a TERRIBLE storm in the Philippines that may have left as many as 10,000 people dead.  Can you even wrap your head around that number?  That’s basically 3 and a half 9/11’s all in the same area.  And i know that there are many people who only care about what happens in this country, and they don’t realize that the only way we will ever advance as a race is to realize that we are all in this “life” thing together and we should really do what we can to help out one another…

But this is a huge tragedy and the country is in really rough shape.  My heart goes out to all of the people affected by this, and hopefully they can start to get the help that they need.  Filipinos are awesome people, and if you know one of them you probably know 20 of them. And they’re all related somehow!  And it’s always somebody’s birthday!!  And as of yet there is no Red Cross phone number to text a donation to that i know of, but as soon as i get it i will post it on my blog and hopefully some of my amazing readers can help out here as well.  Or you can just go to the Red Cross website and make a donation if you wish.  Make it your good deed for the year, or do it because at the very least it will put something in your “Pro” column when you meet St Peter at the gates.  Lord knows you have enough if your “Con” column…

– Did everyone realize that today is 11/12/13?  You probably did but if not who cares, it’s just a date.  Some people get “mystified” when these kinds of things happen.  i just realize that it’s a coincidence and then i take a dump and go back to bed.  To each his own i guess.

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- How can Republicans be so against abortion yet also be against free health care for people?  Is life sacred or not?  You can’t only care about a person’s life when they are in the womb, and then stop caring as soon as they are born.  And how can Republicans also be so against gay marriage?  How can they say marriage is sacred in a country where over 50% of them end up in divorce, plus you have shows like “The Bachelorette” and “Who wants to Marry a Millionaire?”  i’ll tell you how, because they only care about their agenda and they don’t really care about people’s lives.  If you did care about people you would want them to have free health care and you would support people who loved each other getting married.  And don’t get me wrong, i think Democrats are big pu$$y douchebags too.  But at least they fought for health care and fight for gays to have the right the marry.  Everyone else needs to get out of other peoples business and grow up already.

Facebook Etiquette”-

Fast Food Tips – Have you ordered a “McGangbang” from McDonalds lately? My guess is no, and i’m also guessing you don’t know what that is.  Man are you an ignorant fool!  And i’m sure you don’t think it’s a real thing but go ahead and google the $hit out of it because you will definitely find it on the Interwebs.  Basically all you do is put an entire McChicken sandwich inside a double cheeseburger.  It’s simple enough and both items are on the dollar menu so you are basically getting a McDonalds feast for $2.16.  So eat it and enjoy, and if you like that also try the “McWhoo” chicken sandwich because that’s also delicious!

And that’s it for me today kids.  i hope everyone has a great 11/12/13 on this snowy day, and don’t forget to look at your clock when it’s 9:10 pm because then it will be 9:10 on 11/12/13.  Which again is just a coincidence but yeah it’s kinda cool i guess.  Oh well, Hakuna matata! 
Cya Friday, @migueljose_85 on Twitter

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