They don’t want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn’t vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come. – Chris Rock

5 Nov

What is up kids?

i’ll tell you what’s up, i’m gddamn voting today.  Although for the second time in my life i’m voting against someone more then i’m voting for someone, as i’m really voting against Chris Christie more then i’m voting for Barbara Buono. Not anything against the State Senator, but i can’t honestly say i’m the biggest fan of her ever or anything.

Wait, is this fat ahole really talking about POLITICS??  i thought that this was supposed to be a comedy blog!  Why the hell would i want to hear this fools thoughts on government?”  Yeah yeah, i know talking about politics is usually the worst.  And for the most part i try to never do it.  But whatever, it’s Tuesday, November 5th. And if you can’t talk about it then when can you talk about it?  “Still never!  And especially you!”

Yeah yeah, i know you still don’t want to hear it.  But it’s my blog and i actually pay attention to this stuff so eat me.  And i pay attention to politics even though it’s the WORST. Neither of the main parties are that great, and the extreme aspects of each one are straight up LUNATICS.  And i completely get people who never pay attention to politics, because it truly is one of the most maddening and annoying things ever.  Besides the fact that almost all of the politicians are bought and paid for by whatever companies and lobbyists that own them, the act of governing itself is ridiculous if not only for the fact that many of the people who run this country only love to argue and obstruct any “real” progress getting made.

And no i’m not talking exclusively about the “Tea Party,” even those people have taken the art of refusing to negotiate and/or be reasonable humans to a new level.  i mean they actually shut down the government for crying out loud!  For over two weeks!!  This didn’t happen because of the Democrats, or even the moderate Republicans. Although the moderates have to take some of the blame, because they were too afraid to stand up to the members in their own party.  And let’s face it, Tea Party is the loudest and most powerful faction of the Republican party even though they have such small numbers.  But in this country the amount of people you have that believe in you doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you have a powerful backing from super rich people.  And the Tea Party certainly has that!

It’s a sad thing that in this country that all it takes is a few evil billionaires who have no problem turning this country into their own personal playground by donating an untraceable amount of money to politicians without any limits at all to win an election.  And obviously it is these kinds of practices that make people think voting means nothing, and that there’s no point in trying to get your voice “heard.”

But those people are wrong.  People may think that voting doesn’t mean anything in America, or anywhere for that matter.  But if every person who was a teacher, or even if every person who loved a teacher voted against Chris Christie today then New Jersey would have a new governor.  It’s that simple.  But i know that won’t happen, and it won’t happen because it’s too easy to make teachers the “villains” in this country.  It’s easy because if a kid is stupid or just sucks in general whose fault is it?  It’s certainly not the uneducated idiot parents, because nothing is ever THEIR fault.

It’s much easier to blame someone else if your kid is an awful human being, and that’s where the teachers come in, and that’s how Christie was able to go after them.  Christie made a choice to go after the teachers, and he went after them HARD and unapologetically.  So how anyone who knows a teacher, or even has had a teacher change their life forever could vote for someone so openly against the people in charge of raising America’s kids is beyond me.

But you know what?  Even if you don’t agree with anything i just said i still hope you go out and vote.  Because that is the way a real Democracy is supposed to work, and that’s by what takes place in the voting booths.  As a country we are never going to agree on everything, but the fact that we all have the right to vote for what we believe in is enough to make me want to get out there and vote today.  So that’s what i’m going to go do now, and hopefully some of you join me!

“Democracy is not a spectator sport where one can sit back and just give color commentary.  It’s an urgent and demanding participatory endeavor.” New Jersey Senator Cory Booker


– Speaking of voting, even if you hate teachers you should still come out to vote for a raise in the minimum wage.  Were you even aware that this was on the ballot?  There is an option on the NJ ballot to raise the minimum wage from the Federal level of $7.25 to $8.25.  And yes i’m voting for that too!  i’m firmly in the belief that the minimum wage should at least be enough where you can work for an hour at your job and then be able to afford going over the George Washington Bridge.

And yes i know it costs $12 bucks to cross the bridge.  That means they should either lower the price to get over it or they should raise the minimum wage to $12 bucks!  i don’t want to live in a country where i have to work two hours just to go from NJ to NY.  i don’t know who’s in charge of doing that “math,” but any somewhat decent human being could see that a $12 bridge charge when a person can only legally make $7.25 for minimum wage is pretty f’d up to me.

– Halloween is over, but that doesn’t mean the fun can’t keep going!  And by fun i mean there is actually a girl who dressed up as a Boston Marathon survivor for her costume.  Not only that, she posted a picture of herself on Twitter and got fired from her job!

Now don’t get me wrong, i LOVE f’d up humor.  And to be honest if someone told me they did this i’d be shocked but in the back of my head i’d think it was kinda funny.  But to post the picture on social media?  Sorry chica, you just can’t do that these days.   My guess is you’re going to learn your lesson about this going forward, but i’m also guessing the death threats you are being sent makes this whole thing not worth it.

Oh well, as f’d up as her costume is she still can’t come CLOSE to how f’d up Halloween costumes used to be!!!

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- Hey super skinny guys with a high metabolism… go f yourself.  “Whoo hoo i’m a guy but i can eat whatever i want whenever i want and i’ll still stay built like an 8 year old girl!”  And yes that’s almost kind of hot but honestly us real men hate you.  And these skinny guys are always so judgmental, like when then see people eat fast food they always shake their head in disgust.  Listen you skinny f*ck, you won the genetic lottery as far as metabolism goes.  If i had to choose between that or being fantastic in bed like i am i’d rather keep this spare tire around my waste and make sure my lady goes to sleep satisfied every night.  You enjoy your skinny jeans and looking good in a t-shirt at all times and i’ll stick to love making and other things i’m good at.

-i could never marry a girl who doesn’t give bl0wjobs.  Do those kinds of girls still exist? i’m guessing they have to, there’s all sorts of nutty broads on this planet.  But yeah for real, zero bjs?  You are definitely not getting a ring from me.  Or maybe i would marry her but i would definitely end up cheating on her. With a girl who gave bl0w jobs!  Maybe she could marry one of those super skinny guys and they can have awful children together.  See how i brought that last joke back into this one?  That’s called a callback, and it’s usually done better and funnier.  And normally the guy making the callback doesn’t explain it while he does it.  Normally.

Fast Food Tips – So i’ll be the first to admit that i’m not a huge fan of all this “pumpkin” flavored nonsense that comes out in the fall.  Why do people love pumpkins so much?  i’ll honestly never get it, and while everybody is lining up for their pumpkin spice latte and pumpkin flavored munchkins at Dunkin Donuts you’ll find me at Starbucks buying a REAL coffee, the kind that men drink.  A tall mocha latte frappacuino with vanilla syrup and splenda!

Anyways, apparently Dunkin Donuts realizes there are people like me so they just released a new flavor that i do like, and that’s the salted caramel hot chocolate!

i haven’t had it yet but i plan on drinking one and adding my own salted caramel to the front of my pants because Dunkin Donuts coffee is already the money and adding salted caramel is the best thing ever.  i don’t always try the stuff i put in Fast Food Tips but i DEFINITELY plan on trying this and i’ll let you know what i think on Friday’s blog!

Speaking of Friday’s blog, this blog is over so i hope you all have a great day.  And go vote for crying out loud!  It takes 2 minutes and it’ll make you feel like a better American.  Just think of it as posting a status update on Facebook or Twitter but one that actually matters for once.  Or don’t vote and just let everyone else run the country.  But that’s okay too because it’s America and you’re free to do that if you wish.  Just like i’m free to end this blog whenever i want, and for today that’s right now! U S A! U S A!

Cya Friday!  @migueljose_85 on Twitter  


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: