Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years. Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear. Makin the tears rain down like a monsoon, listen to the bass go BOOM! – LL Cool J "Mama Said Knock You Out"

22 Oct

Explosion. Overpowerin.  Over the competition I’m towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that’ll make you call the cops.
Don’t you dare stare, you betta move!
Don’t ever compare
Me to the rest that’ll all get sliced and diced, ccompetition’s payin the price.

I’m gonna knock you out (HUUUH!!!) Mama said knock you out!

THE BLOG ABOUT MY “COMEBACK”

What is up kids??!?!?

So it’s been a hot one huh?  i mean sure i’ve been writing at least one blog a week lately.  But it feels like since last we spoke “Breaking Bad” has ended, the government has been shutdown by the Tea Party and finally reopened, and Burger King is apparently trying to sell new “healthier” fries that i’m going to talk about again once i actually try them.  But the real question is did you all miss me??

Of course you did.  What else were you reading when your cheeks were on the toilet bowl at work/home?  Facebook? Twitter? Instagram?  Pinterest?  Yahoo News stories?  Wikipedia?  Tumblr?  Wordpress?  WWTDD.com???

Alright fine, maybe you didn’t miss me. Holy $hitballs there’s a lot of stuff to keep yourself occupied with these days!  How do i expect to compete with all of social media only writing one blog a week?  i don’t, that’s how.  Which is why i’m back and ready to come at you TWO times a week once again! You lucky Devils!!

Although speaking of Devils, did everyone notice that the New Jersey Devils got their first win of the season against the New York Rangers in a 4-0 shut out at the Rock? And do you know what that means Ablin?  It means if the Devils only played the Rangers during the season we would be UNDEFEATED!!   Especially now that Henrik Lundqvist gives up an average of 6 goals a game this year and everyone finally realizes how terrible the “king” really is…

But it’s good to be back kids.  And i’ll be back again this Friday with an all new blog, and i can hopefully tell you soon what’s REALLY been going on with me lately.  Although i will say that some of it that happened is really good!  Or at least i thinks so anyways!!  It’s probably good.  i mean i hope it is.  Okay fine, maybe it might not end up being so great.  But denial is a powerful ally!  And i’m sure everything is going to turn up Millhouse for your not so humble narrator!  

But while i still can’t tell you any specifics about that stuff for now, i can say happy birthday to my beautiful girl Jenny who turns 24 today!  Or at least that’s old she told me she is.  Which is odd because we did go to high school together.  Hmmmm…

Anyways she’s the best thing that could have happened to me, and i hope she has the best day ever. She’s one of those amazing people that deserves nothing but good things.  And while some of you may be thinking, “Then why is she with you ahole???‘ She doesn’t think those kind of rational thoughts and i love her for that.  And f*ck you for saying that you a$$holes!!  But yeah happy birthday Jen, you are the definition of money and i love you to pieces 🙂 

On to the nonsense!!  

RANDOM NONSENSE

-Is everyone aware that the BADDEST MAN ON THE PLANET is a Mexican?  That’s right kids, your UFC Heavyweight champion is STILL Cain Velesquez!!!  

Cain beat the second best heavyweight Junior Dos Santos, who is easily the second best fighter on Earth.  Unfortunately for him Cain is better, and he proved it again by whooping his A$$ as the PPV last Sunday.  So let it be known everyone, at this point in time a Mexican is literally the toughest person there is, which means physically we are the master race.  So no matter what shape i am currently in, my heritage still makes me better then you!!!  

– So it’s a known fact that Philly fans are the worst fans ever.  Be it basketball, baseball, and especially hockey, fans of Philly teams are usually the worst sports fans you could possibly be around.  However, in an attempt to make a run for the “crown,” NY Jets fans are rapidly making their own case why they should be considered the WORST. 

Everyone knows that Jets fans are among the most unknowledgable fans on the planet, and they are also the reason that they cannot sell beer at night games at Giants stadium.  Oh it’s true my friends, look it up if you don’t believe me.  Because of the one time Jets fans set fire to something at the stadium, ever since they stopped selling alcohol at night games.  Way to go dicks.

But apparently ruining the stadium and beer rules weren’t enough for them, because now a Jets fan is on tape punching a woman in the face!  Way to keep it classy kids!  

A Great Name for a Punk Band!  “The Thingamabobs”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- If it’s your girlfriend’s birthday, it’s pretty ghetto to just give her a gift card as a present.  And it’s even ghettoer to just give her straight up cash, like throw a bunch of 20’s in a card and be like “Happy birthday!” It’s very impersonal, and overall cash or gift cards are just a very tasteless gift.

That being said, it sucks that those gifts are considered ghetto because they are also the BEST gift ever!!!  i mean who doesn’t want gift cards and cash?  Everybody does!  Why would she want you buying her that lingerie that’s not even her size?  Or that scarf you thought looked “cool” but really isn’t at all, mostly because she would never be caught dead wearing it in a million years? .

Of course she don’t want that garbage, just give her the cash!  But you can’t do that, because if her parents or family ask her “What did he get you for your birthday?” and she tells them “A Victoria Secret gift card and $120 in cash!” Both she and her family will think you’re a real creepo, as well as a big impersonal bag of douche.  But again, this whole situation sucks because it really is the best gift AND it’s the easiest to get!  It’s basically win win for everyone!  Except for the boyfriend that everyone hates of course.

One last point, i’m not sure why spell check always tries to correct me when i write “ghettoer”.  Cause i mean, how else am i supposed to f’n spell it?  i write ghetto, and i add an “er” at the end to make it “ghettoer”.  If that’s wrong someone feel free to correct me, but i’m telling your right now i ain’t buying your corrections this time spell check!!!

“Facebook Etiquette”-

Fast Food Tips –

Can you tell that’s “Wendy” in the sack with the King?  i sure hope so cause that’s the joke…

And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone has a great week, and more importantly that you all come back here on Friday when i put up an all new blog once again!  Things are happening for me right now and i can’t wait to start telling you all about it, and trust me that time is coming SOON…

But until then have a great week, wish my girlfriend the best birthday ever, and i’ll see you kids on Friday!!   

Cya, @migueljose_85 on Twitter




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One Response to “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years. Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear. Makin the tears rain down like a monsoon, listen to the bass go BOOM! – LL Cool J "Mama Said Knock You Out"”

  1. Anonymous October 22, 2013 at 5:08 pm #

    You know as much about the UFC and MMA, as you do about dieting.

    Like

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