I hate the word "homophobia." It’s not a phobia, you are not scared. You are an a$$hole. – Morgan Freeman

17 Sep

What is up kids?

So did everyone hear about all of the “outrage” over what happened this past week when an Indian woman won the “Miss America” pageant?  No, i’m not talking about all of the racist aholes who went online and posted disgusting $hit like “She’s a terrorist!” and “How does an Indian win Miss America?!?”  You know, that kind of uneducated low class garbage.

But yeah i’m not talking about that outrage.  i’m talking about my outrage over the fact that we still have Miss America contests!  i mean who f’n cares anymore?? i’ll tell you who, the girls in those pageants and their whack job mothers and that’s it. i mean could you imagine subjecting one of your little angels to the HORRIFICNESS that is a beauty pageant, let alone those little kid beauty pageants?  The ones with little girls straight up scare me.  i mean for real, you would have to be some kind of MONSTER to do that to your little honey boo boo!

Ugh, that woman DISGUSTS me.  i normally don’t mind overweight people, i myself dabble in being a tad obese. But these morbidly disgusting piles of fat that no one in their right mind would ever f*ck should probably just kill themselves instead of waiting the few months they have left to live before their heart gives out.

And seriously moms, enough with the putting of your kids into pageants.  Unless of course your daughter is the girl from “Little Miss Sunshine.”  That girl is the money!

By the way, did you know that actress is 17 years old and blond now?  Only one more year to go fellas!  Because if you don’t find this girl attractive now you’re probably gay!!

Although speaking of gay, does anyone else think it’s amazing how far we’ve come with gay rights in the last few years?  i mean this is really happening folks, gay people are here, they’re queer, and for once people are actually getting used to it.  Even though when you think about it, being okay with gay rights is something that’s not that hard to do.  i mean who cares who someone else wants to love?  Or who they want to bang?

Besides the fact that if it doesn’t concern me i’m not interested, people should have every right to fall in love and be with whoever they want.  How is that not a basic right that everyone in this country has been fighting for together?  Oh i know why, because it doesn’t involve owning a gun.  Homos getting married is an affront to God and the Bible and they don’t deserve any of the rights we have, but owning a gun is a RIGHT that everyone deserves and no one including the government can tell us otherwise!!!!

Anyways i’m all over the place today, but i hope you can excuse it because sometimes it’s hard to handle what ignorant f’n monsters we have on this planet.  For the most part i try to not let them get to me, because why should i care?  If i let all of the stupid and racist pieces of trash get me angry then i am letting them win.  i should be above all of that, and them, and for the most part i think i accomplish this.  But sometimes i hear racist stories like this one about Miss America and i have to go off on a rant about these dumb, soulless wastes of space to make myself feel better.  But you know what, sometimes it works.  Like today!  i feel tons better after making fun of those jerk offs!  So on to the nonsense!!!


-Speaking of racists, to any of my friends who tell me “You’re the whitest Mexican i know!!” That is not only the most racist ignorant $hit i’ve ever heard it is also hurtful and mean.  i mean yeah i don’t speak Spanish and i can’t even impersonate the accent.  And yeah i like Pearl Jam and Beck and my favorite shows are “Lost” and “Breaking Bad.”  And yes i’ve never dated a Hispanic girl before nor have i ever been to Mexico.  And to top it all off i hate soccer and think it’s a sport that only children should play because grown men shouldn’t waste their time on such a lame activity.

My point is that just because i do none of that does NOT make me white!!  By saying that to me you are basically saying that all Mexicans HAVE to speak Spanish and like futbol and eat tacos and wear sombreros and if they don’t do that they are white.  So by saying that you are a dirty racist white motherf*cker who thinks all of us Hispanics should be exactly the same. So i know it’s hard but you’d better get used to the fact that not all of the bull$hit stereotypes you have in your head are true , so put that in your little righteous judging stereotypical pipe and smoke it you narrow minded jerk weeds!

-This made me laugh

The Guy Who F*CKED Me in Fantasy Football This Week is…  NOBODY!!!  That’s right my friends, after starting off my season 0-4 in my 4 leagues, your not so humble narrator went 4-0 this week with high points in 3 out of the 4 leagues!!  Well i was actually tied for the high points in one of them.  But still, HUGE comeback for me after last weeks disaster!!!  i’d like to thank RGIII for blowing up out of nowhere after doing nothing for 3 quarters and Dez Bryant and Julio Jones for being the gddamn MONEY.  And yes i have them both on my teams in two different leagues.  But yeah there is a LONG way to go in this season but i gotta say i’m pretty fired up for this year, and it feels REAL gdamn good to get these wins under my belt.  Now if only the New York Giants could do the same!!!

A Great Name for a Punk Band! “Those Damn Kids”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- How come at restaurants you always need to order water twice?  i mean you always order it the first time and hope in vain that you’ll get it, but the waitress always “forgets” to bring it so you have to order it again.  And look, i know it’s annoying to get because water is free and it doesn’t go towards your tip.  But for real, i’m parched as f*ck so can you please just hook it up already?  Oh and i’d like more of that free bread while you’re at it.

Fast Food Tips – Realizing that people not only love chicken but they love it drenched in hot buffalo sauce that’ll murder your colon and put a flame in your fallopian tubes, Burger King has released their new Buffalo Chicken Strips that look and sound kind of okay.  i’m not big on BK’s chicken but i do love hot and spicy food which is probably the most Mexican thing about me besides my name and skin color.  So i’ll probably try these $hits at some point.  Or maybe i won’t.

And that’s it for me today kids!  And i am EXHAUSTED because i just realized that i have just finished blog 248, which means after Friday’s blog next Tuesday will be my 250th blog!!!  This is bordering on insanity kids, who could have imagined that i would have done this for so long!!  And it’s not like i do little two paragraph blurbs for these things, these are literally full masterpieces that take hours to do!  And by hours i mean i have to search the Interwebs and my friends Facebook pages for funny stuff and then all i do is copy and paste…

But thank you to everyone who’s been on this ride.  i hope i’m still making you laugh twice at least or at the very least informing you of what new fast food items you can get for lunch haha.  But this Friday will be blog 249 so i will see you all back here then!!

Cya, and follow @migueljose_85 on Twitter and go to Blip.tv to watch “VHS Breakdown!”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: