I am not going to make any commitments to the teachers union to do anything until they do something that’s other than in their own self- interest. And everything they have done so far is in their self-interests, and that’s it. – Governor Chris Christie

13 Sep

What is up kids?

Oh that’s right Jewell, i started a Friday the 13th blog with Rebecca Black AND Jason.  How many other bloggers are cool and/or funny enough to do that?? i’m guessing hundreds, tops.

Anywas, holy S BALLS has it been hot out lately!!  Although i blame myself, mostly because on Tuesday i literally just wrote a blog about the summer being over.  And once i wrote that what does your so-called “God” do next?  He sends a heat wave to remind you that he does what he WANTS!  And also to punish all of the teachers who work in classrooms that don’t have air conditioning.  Which is most of them because we live in a country of lunatics who think teachers or kids can get anything done in this extreme heat.

Although you know who does have air conditioning?  The principal and everyone else that works in the office.  As well as New Jersey’s fat ass governor who HATES teachers.  And i’m guessing they all work in air conditioning because they know it’s too hot to work inside without it.  So my question is, how do these ahole administrators get away with leaving the rest of the school in these ridiculous hot conditions???

i’ll tell you how, because no one gives a $hit about teachers.  Obviously they don’t, i mean how can teachers not have air conditioning?!?!?!  And how do parents let their kids go to classrooms that don’t have air conditioning???  i get that the people in charge and especially the parents don’t give a f*ck about the teachers.  But what about all of these precious moms who put up a million pictures of their child’s first day at school?  Don’t they care the least bit about the fact that they are sending their kids to sit in an oven all day?   i completely understand that parents blame teachers for everything when their kid is a gddamn moron, and then if their child gets good grades they take all the credit.  i get that parents think this way about life even though it’s complete bull$hit.  But i say again, if they care about their children so much, how come they let them go to class in rooms that aren’t air conditioned?

Honestly, i feel like working in these hot class rooms is a torture and punishment i would only wish on my worst enemies.  Although that makes sense, because if you are Governor Christie then i guess that’s how you feel about teachers.   But for real, my favorite fact about the entire point i’m trying to make right now is that most of the main offices in these schools DO have air conditioning.  So the secretaries, the Principal, the Vice Principal, and basically ANYONE who has nothing to do with actually teaching your children directly are the ones who get to enjoy air conditioning.

Although i say “enjoy” like it is a bonus to work in human temperatures and not a God given right.  How come people aren’t up in arms about this cause in this country?  We have all of these gun lovers who are willing fight for gun rights because it’s their right in the Constitution!!  But how about fighting for the rights for teachers and students to work and learn in a comfortable environment?  Why don’t you fight for that?!?!  Oh, because you can’t kill anyone with air conditioning, got it…

Anyways, if you are a teacher and you have to work in a sweltering room all day with these lunatic kids i commend you.  You teach and raise our children from the time they turn 4 till they get out of college, and this country would be nothing without you.  It breaks my heart to see how schools are run by people in tower who know nothing about teaching, only to see all of your funds for your classroom get cut and all of your hours get increased while your pay stays the same or gets lower. But for some reason you people teach anyway which makes you heroes in my eyes.

Although i know the reason that you teach, you teach because you HAVE to.  Which is pretty much the same reason i write this blog.  i could give this up whenever i wanted to, it’s not like i get paid to do this (yet).  But i do it because i love writing and it’s what i love to do, the same way you teachers have to teach because it’s your calling and you couldn’t imagine doing anything else.  And i know it’s all of the other stuff that makes you hate your job like the administration, a $hitty governor, annoying kids and even worse parents.  But you still do it anyway, and you do it in a non-air conditioned room and you do it with little or no praise.

So i’d just like to thank you all again for everything you do.  Hopefully one day this country will realize how important teachers are instead of CONSTANTLY trying to cut funds for anything that has to do with education.  But even if that day never happens please know there are a bunch of us out there that do appreciate you.  You, the sweaty, heat exhausted teachers who make our country great!!


-So some of you might be asking why i have never thought about becoming a teacher.  And the truth is i have thought about it, and almost even pursued it once.  But my main problem is i could never teach K through 5, because i have no patience for little kids and apparently you’re not allowed to yell and scream at them when they annoy you.  But i also can’t teach high school or college, because the longer i was around girls pushing the legal age limit of 18 the higher chance i would go to jail for the rest of my life.  You wouldn’t make a Diabetic person work in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory would you???

-Speaking of Willies, this next joke was posted on Facebook by one of my favorite gays, George Takei.  Do all of you know who he is?  Well besides being on the original “Star Trek”he is also one of Hollywood’s most outspoken and hilarious gay men.  He posts the funniest and best stuff on the Interwebs, and if you haven’t yet you should like his Facebook page and his Twitter.  In fact, once you get the joke below you are free to go to so.  But my guess is it’ll take you a few minutes to get it…

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- Whenever i see someone on the road who has been pulled over by a cop, i always slow down to check just so i can see what race the person is.  If it’s a black guy or any minority i always just assume that the cop is racist, and whenever (the few times that it happens) it is a white person who got pulled over i can honestly say i’m kinda happy about it.  Does that make me racist?  i don’t think so.  i’m not saying that i’m rooting for white people to get pulled over, i’m just saying if i happen to see someone pulled over and it’s going to have to be somebody, i am just hoping that somebody ends up being a white person.  And oh yeah i also root for white people to get pulled over.  Alright fine i’m racist.  But i’m not homophobic!!

Fast Food Tips – Taco Bell has just released a new Doritos Locos Taco that is sure to leave your buttcheeks a fiery disaster.  i’m speaking of course, of the new “Fiery” Doritos Tacos from Taco Bell.  My guess is that most customers were raving about how much they loved the new Doritos tacos, but those raves quickly turned to complaints when people were taking deuces that were not destroying their insides.  And once again doing whatever they could do for the people of this country, Taco Bell decided to answer the masses cry for a Taco that would burn through your colon like the burning heat that comes from these non-airconditioned classrooms that we force our teachers to work in.  See how i tied in burning diarrhea to the hot classrooms i was talking about earlier?  You can say it, i’m a genius.

And that’s it for me today kids.  i hope everyone has a great weekend, but more importantly i hope i win all of my fantasies game this week becasue if i don’t i will kill someone.
But enjoy your weekend, if you enjoy this blog please share it with a friend or 12, and i’ll see you guys back here on Tuesday with all new comedy!!
Cya, @migueljose_85   Follow me on Twitter already!!!

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