Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect, and I don’t live to be. But before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean! ― Bob Marley

27 Aug

What is up kids?

So about this Miley Cyrus on the VMA’s thing…  can everyone just relax a hot second before they judge and make fun of this 20 year old girl?  i mean yeah her entire performance was pretty ridiculous.  But let’s imagine for one second that any of us were judged when we were that age.  And not only that, imagine having unlimited fame and money and being a kid star of not just your own television show but being known as a successful singer as well.  All of this while your father is also extremely famous.  Can you say that maybe you might be a little out of control yourself??

Personally, i’m not so quick to judge others.  ESPECIALLY kids.  Because that what Miley Cyrus is, she’s a super young rich KID.  And the reason i try not to judge others is mostly because i have PLENTY of instances where i embarrassed myself to no end, and i was just lucky enough to not have any cameras around.  And that was with zero duckets to my name and even less fame!!  Do i think it’s possible that i might be an even bigger disaster in my life if i had fame and fortune like Miley has growing up?  Hell yeah i do, are we even serious with that question????

To be honest i’m happy enough that when i was in high school and college that we didn’t have energy drinks and/or flavored vodka yet.  Today that is the norm, and i am being completely honest when i say that if energy drinks and dessert flavored vodka was around in my teens and/or early 20’s i might probably not be alive right now.  i joined a fraternity my first semester when i went to college and we drank HARD.  Now can i imagine adding energy drinks and/or delicious vodka to that mix?? Forget it, there would have never been “VHS Breakdown” and i sure as hell would not be bringing the money to anyone.

And i won’t even bring up the fact that i would probably be one of those fools that died drunk on Red Bull and Vodka while texting in my car at the same time.  Although i have to admit, my texts on those texting PSA commercials wouldn’t be “i love yo…”they’d be more like “Damn baby i’m dreaming of your naked body and tight pu…”  But i digress.

So yeah on top of just that, can i imagine if i was super rich and famous AND i was only 20??  Please, if i had that kind of power and audience the performance that Miley Cyrus did on the VMA’s would be tame in comparison.  Compared to what i would do on stage what Miley did would look like a Phineas and Ferb episode.  And for the record i have zero clue what that show is…

So back to my original point which i never made, i think everyone need to f’n RELAX about how “crazy” Miley Cyrus’ performance was.  She’s still very much a child and she was being ridiculous, she just happened to do it in front of the entire world.  Well not the entire world, just young kids and older girls who wanted to watch INSync get back together so they could pretend they were in their teens again when in reality they are all women in their 30’s with kids and their childhood couldn’t be farther behind them.  Maybe if those girls could still remember what it was like to be a rebellious teen they wouldn’t be so quick to judge Miley.  But instead it is quicker and easier just to judge her so that’s what everyone does and i think that’s mad lame.  Although to be fair so are the VMA’s when you think about it.

So yeah, she’s a nutty kid with a ton of fame and money so get over it.  First of all, if you’re reading this you are probably over 20 which means you are no longer in MTV’s demographics anyways which means you’re not supposed to get it.  Secondly, did any of you stop to think that maybe you’re so “shocked” because you forget what it was like to be a kid?  And how crazy and wacky things like what Miley did used to not seem so crazy when you still had your youth?  And if you are a girl (or should i say “woman:”) and you think what Miley did was “trashy” and disgusting, maybe you should stop being so jealous and just let the kid have some fun while she’s still young and hot and let her enjoy being a kid!  A rich white sexy kid that is.

Oh and another thing, maybe she did what she did so that EVERYONE would be talking about her and she would become relevant again.  Do you think it worked??

“Smilers! My VMA performance had 306.000 tweets per minute. That’s more than the blackout or Superbowl! .” – @MileyCyrus Way to go dicks…


-Speaking of judging, everyone also needs to RELAX about Ben Affleck being cast as the new Batman.  First of all, who cares who plays Batman because we all know Spiderman is a better superhero anyway…

But more importantly, Ben Affleck isn’t that horrific of an actor.  Or even if he is, he’s just as awful as it was when i heard Heath Ledger was going to play “The Joker” in the new Batman.  And how did that turn out again?

And yeah Heath Ledger had never done a comic book movie before and Affleck unfortunately did “Daredevil.”  But let’s be honest, “Daredevil” wasn’t the worst superhero movie ever.  It’s not even close!!  Green Lantern, the new Spiderman, the new Superman, they were all pretty much just as horrible.  So again, let’s give the guy a chance before we are all so quick to judge, especially because Affleck has done a few good movies.  Sure they all involved Matt Damon, but whatever give that Boston basterd a chance!!

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- Losing or breaking your sunglasses is the f’n WORST.  Is there a more annoying purchase on the planet to make then a new pair of sunglasses?  Let’s see, how about i take forever to finally pick out a pair i won’t absolutely hate as soon as i get home, and once i overcome that almost impossible obstacle let me then leave them at my friends house and/or on the seat of my car and break them when i sit on them because yeah that’s awesome.  For real, anyone who spends more then 20 bucks on sunglasses is a lunatic.

Fast Food Tips – In an effort to make all of mankind fatter, Chips Ahoy has just released two new cookie flavors.  The first is “Sweet and Salty Caramel Chunk,” and the other is hold on a second i just POPPED in my pants after saying that first one.  Grap a napkin, time to clean up… and i’m back.  The second new flavor is “Brownie filled,” and while that new flavor doesn’t have as long as a name it still makes my penis just as long as it did when i heard the first one.  Basically what i’m saying is that these two new flavors make me pop a sweet and salty caramel chunk in my pants, and i haven’t even tried them yet!  But i plan to soon and so should you.

A special thanks to the Fat Guy Food Blog for letting me know about these new treats, a blog devoted to nothing but “real” Fast Food tips.  They give actual reviews on these new food items, not just the ridiculous nonsense that i like to joke about.  So if you’re into food that tastes delicious and is sure to kill you definitely check them out!!  www.fatguyfoodblog.blogspot.com

And last and DEFINITELY not least, my show “VHS Breakdown” has been accepted to the Blip website, a site that is “home to the best in original web series.”  So for the love of Pete PLEASE go to our page at www.blip.tv/VHSBreakdown and “Love” and Share our show with everyone, it would mean the WORLD to me!!!  And yes i know i’ve been mad annoying just to try to get you all watch it on YouTube, but this time if you help me out i can get noticed by the right people and then get rich and famous and then throw the biggest party ever for my fans!!  So it’s really win win for all of us!  But mostly me, definitely me.

Have a great week everyone and i’ll be back here with a new blog on Friday before the holiday weekend!!

Cya,  @migueljose_85 on Twitter


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