Now this is not the end, it is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. – Winston Churchill

6 Aug
What is up kids?
Well this is it, tomorrow is the SEASON FINALE of “VHS Breakdown!”  Our goal from the beginning was to film 8 episodes, and it is nice to be able to say we filmed all 8 and then some.  Between the show promos, and all 8 shows we have well over 1 HOUR of comedy on film!  And after a lifetime of sloth and laziness and doing nothing with comedy except for this blog, it feels good to have finally accomplished SOMETHING.

And i know some of you may not think it’s a big deal.  “Whoo hoo you talk about 80’s movies and show a bunch of clips!  How gddamn original!”  But that’s the thing, our show IS original.  NO ONE is doing anything with VHS tapes these days, and rightfully so.  No one even uses DVD’s anymore really, unless you are 30 years old and older.  All the kids today know how to download everything onto their computer and TV screen, and i mean EVERYTHING.  i literally just watched the Hunger Games sequel at my younger cousin’s house the other day in 3-D and it hasn’t even finished production yet!  And by literally i mean i’m literally lying.  But still, i’m only lying a little bit because these kids can watch anything they want.
But i have to say i totally love my show.  And not just because it stars me, even though i am an ego maniac and i LOVE staring at my beautiful face.  Although my goal is to lose about 50 pounds before we start filming next season.  We already do the best and funniest show possible, if i can lose all that weight i will add “Sexiest” to that list as well!
But for real, i watch this show as a fan probably not unlike the way you guys do.  i mean yeah it’s a little weird seeing me on camera for the first time.  Well, the first time with clothes on anyway.  But once i get past the awkwardness of seeing me on screen, soon all i’m watching is the genius that Rob is able to do through his amazing editing.  No joke, the reason i love our show is because to me it is a “real” show.  We have a full intro, a theme song, a regular show format, an ending, and we even have credits with a bonus extra joke right before the end.  And i do NONE of that, all of that is done by Rob.  So when i’m watching VHS Breakdown it totally feels like i’m watching a show that i would see on any other dumb channel.  But the channel is our YouTube channel and the show is f’n ours!!!  And it’s crazy to me!!!
And it definitely took a lOT of work to finish i’ll tell you that much.  Hopefully i make it look easy, but it’s f’n hard work to find the right type of jokes and theme for each episode, as well as using the right clips to match all the points i want to make.  And the one thing we tried our hardest not to do is not to just become a “clip” show and simply rehash everyone’s favorite moments of each movie.  That’s just too easy to do, and to us that’s not funny.  But what is funny to us is reminding everyone that Rick Morehouse was raped by his mom’s friend in “Just One of the Guys.”  And that Scott Howard was truly more scared that people would think that he’s gay more then he was them finding out he was a werewolf.  Or that the young boy in “Real Genius” does look just like Sarah Jessica Parker, and that older women are constantly trying to rape that 15 year old kid!
But after seven episodes it’s time for the Season Finale.  And just like the show “LOST,” our goal is to make our Season Finale our biggest episode yet.  It’s by far the longest, and after watching it with Rob last week it is honestly our finest work to date.  We pay homage to all of the movies we did all season, this episode has the MOST tape smashes by far, and it’s really just the best work that Rob and i have done together. And what better movie to do as a finale then “Revenge of the Nerds?”  That movie has EVERYTHING!  Statutory rape, regular rape, bullying, racism, homophobia, nudity, i mean this movie literally has it all!
So i hope you all enjoyed the season, but more importantly i hope you all watch the Season Finale when it premiers tomorrow.  If you want the first look at it you can always subscribe to our VHS Breakdown YouTube channel, and if you do that i will love you and have a party for you that has punch and pie.  
But to the rest of you thanks for tuning in for Season one, please help spread the word by sharing and liking our show on YouTube, and i hope you dug me taking a look and breaking down some of these VHS tapes ONE LAST TIME…


-i know i did my bit about weddings last blog but there was one more thing i had to add.  You know how people rent “photo booths” at weddings where you can go in with one or a bunch of people and get those oldschool photos taken?  Well those things are the MONEY, and if you add that to your wedding i have to say it’s a class move and your guests will appreciate it.  i don’t know if you need to pay extra to get all the wacky hats and glasses and other garbage they throw at you for some reason.  But if you can rent one of those pieces , even without all of that other nonsense they are just as fun so hook them up at your wedding if you can.  But more importantly, never get married.

-Speaking of “VHS Breakdown,” (and yes that is all i talk about these days, eat me) did everyone catch the last episode where i review the John Cusack comedy “Better Off Dead?”  If you haven’t you should go do so now, it’s probably our coolest/darkest opening to any episode yet haha.

Pretty funny, huh?  i’ll be honest, it is NOTHING compared to our Season Finale that is coming out tomorrow when we review “Revenge of the Nerds.”  i thought we outdid ourselves a few times this season but this Finale is EASILY the best way we could have ended the season possible.  So make sure you watch it and let me know what you think!!
-Okay, last thing on weddings for awhile i PROMISE!!  Does anyone else think that maybe we got the whole thing wrong about it being bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress BEFORE the wedding?  Judging by how most of these marriages turn out my guess is the really bad luck starts when the groom sees the bride in her dress AFTER the wedding…

A Great Name for a Punk Band!  “Hating Hitler”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- Why don’t people use their turn signals when making a turn while driving?  Besides the fact that people are selfish reckless aholes who deserve to die in a horrific car accident i mean.  i guess this mostly happens in New Jersey, but i gotta assume these c0cksuckers are all over the country.  Do you realize how f’n easy it is to use your signal?  And what a big difference it makes to the other drivers on the road?  Of course you don’t, because your a self absorbed bag of douche and when someone crashes into your car hard from behind because you are too much of a piece of $hit to use your blinker i hope you get paralyzed.   
And i also hope you’re on your cell phone with your family at the time, so that when this happens they can hear you scream in agony as your spinal cord is crushed and your body becomes a useless sack of $hit because you couldn’t use your turn signal or shut your f’n yapper while driving.   And when your spouse leaves you to be with someone who can satisfy them sexually (which you obviously can’t do anymore) i hope there is one part of you that realizes “hey, maybe if i just used my blinker when making that turn, and maybe if i could drive 5 minutes without having to talk and/or text on the stupid phone and run my stupid mouth about nothing i wouldn’t be where i am today!”  And then i hope you have a painful heart attack and die.  Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Fast Food Tips – In case i bummed any of you out with last week’s Fast Food FACTS: i figured i’d win you all back again with what i believe might be the greatest new Fast Food item that i’ve heard of in a LOOONG time.  It comes from Popeyes, and my guess is when you eat this meal you will be coming as well.  Coming back for seconds!  And in your pants.  But yeah this new item is the “Chicken Waffle Tenders” and apparently they are Tenders that taste like chicken and waffles and they give you a honey maple syrup dipping sauce for both the tenders and my penis.  Damnit, i keep ruining it!  i’m just going to post a picture of this so you can all see how fantastic it is and forget all the awfulness i just wrote about!

That’s it for me today kids!  Once again, PLEASE tune into the Season Finale of “VHS Breakdown” tomorrow at 4:20.  And i promise after this week you won’t hear me talk about this show for a hot one, and i’ll get back to more stories of me throwing up on all fours in my shower and i try to wash the shame away of eating a crave case at White Castle all by myself as i cry myself to sleep.  So trust me, once this season is over that’ll be all i talk about again, i swear!!

CYA TMRW AT THE PREMIERE!! @migueljose_85 on Twitter


2 Responses to “Now this is not the end, it is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. – Winston Churchill”

  1. armando August 6, 2013 at 11:54 pm #

    i thought for sure your fast food item was going to be this:


  2. Miguel José August 7, 2013 at 12:28 am #

    i didn't even know about this but now that i do i am DEFNITELY writing about it Friday! Thanks! 🙂


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