People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance. – Calvin, "Calvin and Hobbes"VHS BREAKDOWN: Episode 2: Just One Of The Guys

21 Jun
What is up kids?
So did everyone watch and love episode DOS of “VHS Breakdown?”  If you didn’t go watch it and subscribe to my channel now!

But anyways, i’ve been wondering if everyone knows and loves the comic “Calvin and Hobbes” as much as i do?  Probably not, and that’s a shame because i shouldn’t be the only one who realizes how MONEY this strip is.  No joke, not only is it the funniest and most creative comic strip of all time, it actually discusses and tries to explain some of the biggest mysteries in our universe.  Or at the very least it admits that no matter how hard we try, we as humans are most likely never going to be able to figure this thing we call “life” out completely…
But don’t get me wrong, even with all of it’s really deep messages when it came down to it this strip was also just the straight up funniest $hit EVER.  From Calvin starting GROSS, the “Get Rid Of Slimy girlS” club, to using a cardbox box to go back into time like Marty McFly, or even the insane snowmen he would make that truly showed what a creative maniac Calvin was.
But despite the constant hilarity and intense look at the beings we call human, what this comic came down to was the relationship between two best friends.  Because that’s all we can really hope for in life, isn’t it?  We don’t get to choose our family, even though some people are just lucky enough like me to be related to people that i really love.  And we can’t choose who we fall in love with.  Lord knows if that was true i would have saved a lot of the heartbreak i went through most of my life up until recently.
But we can choose our best friends, and sometimes there is nothing better in life then having a great time with your best friend.
Personally i love my best friends, and i’ve been lucky enough that most of my best friends are the ones i’ve kept with me since high school.  And considering i am turning 57 this August that means we’ve been friends for a really long f’n time.  Although speaking of friends, if someone wants to be my best friend there is a painting that i just saw that i TOTALLY want and that was also the inspiration of today’s rant.  It was done by Craig Mahoney, and he made a painting of a grown up Calvin opening up his childhood toy box to find his long lost friend Hobbes.  And anyone who can look at this painting without their eyeballs tearing up and the old waterworks starting to flow is one cold individual as far as i’m concerned!  You’re a robot Michael!
And one last thing that makes this the best comic ever is that the man behind Calvin and Hobbes, Bill Watterson, is one of the most prolific artists of our time and one that refused to sell out even when corporations shoved what would have been millions of dollars in front of his face.  In a society where everyone constantly tries to sell out, Watterson was a man who did everything in his power to stay true to his art and decided to retire at his peak rather then risk ruining his life’s work just to make a few dollars.  Mostly because that wasn’t what life was about to him.  What matters to him is his art, his passion, his love, his family and his friends.  And there’s no coincidence that that was what his comic was about and that is why it’s the greatest comic of all time.
-Have any of you ever had to do your laundry at the Laundromat?  Some of you have no idea what that’s like because you have owned your own washer and dryer for your entire life.  Which also means some of you are real a$$holes who don’t know how miserable it is to have to go do your laundry at the gddamn Laundromat!!  First of all imagine how annoying doing your laundry is. Now imagine having to drive to go do it at a shady Laundromat.  A place that is always a little darker inside then it should be, with the creepiest people you could imagine all around you. Now imagine realizing you forgot to bring your laundry detergent and you have to scrape up enough change in the bottom of your car  to buy it from the machine.  But since the machine is mad confusing you totally pick bleach instead of getting soap and now you don’t have enough change to get soap AND do your laundry because of course it only takes quarters.  Of course the machine only takes quarters, why could you use your debit card which would make life so much easier then carrying a knapsack full of change?
Oh and if you want to sit and wait there for your laundry to be done because you don’t trust the sickos that hang out there you’d better bring something to do because the magazine offerings that they have are terrible and the radio only plays songs from the 60’s that even my parents don’t like.  Have i said that doing Laundromats is the worst yet?  Because for real, it’s the gddamn WORST!
-People always write “a lot” when it’s really supposed to be one word, “alot.”  i don’t like to think of myself as a “grammar nazi” but this one rule bothers me alot when people break it so please don’t do it anymore!
Haha just kidding English majors.  i’m sure you just had a heart attack on that one.  But for real stop being grammar nazi’s, it’s mad offensive.  
“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- It f’n sucks being sick in general, but it sucks even hairier donkey balls when it’s nice out.  There’s nothing like your head being dizzy and weighing a 100 pounds and your stomach being in knots as you struggle going between being so f’n incredibly hot to so f’n f*cking freezing every other minute.  And you do all of this on a Saturday and Sunday as the sun tries to pour through your blinds in your room reminding you of the weekend that you are missing while you do whatever you can to keep passing out every few hours.
Also, when the weather is nice out it’s hard to eat a super hot bowl of soup, i’ll tell you that much! And i’ll tell you now, if you finally get enough strength to go to the store and pick up that soup which i will tell you now is an AWFUL idea because that store is filled with a million jerkoffs.  And you may start to feel a little better in your room thinking you are well enough to make this trip.  But once you are trying to park in that lot full of maniacs you will regret your decision HEAVILY.  But anyways when you get that soup and steal that cold medicine because who pays for cold medicine?  Make sure you don’t forget crackers!!!!  Because everyone knows that soup without crackers tastes like hairy donkey balls.  Gddamnit, i really need to learn more adjectives and learn what adverbs are and just become a better writer in general.
-Apparently there is a God because besides the return of “Arrested Development” i recently heard that one of my favorite shows “Portlandia” has been renewed for two more seasons!!
i honestly can’t believe that happened, because while i think this is the funniest show EVER i would seriously doubt most people would get it or at least enough to keep renewing this show.  But apparently enough of you get it so thank you America you don’t always blow it apparently.
Oh and another one of my other favorite shows is coming back June 23rd i think and that’s “Wilfred.”  Wilfred is a dog who acts and talks like a human but only Elijah Wood can see this and they hang out and smoke weed and do bong hits all the time. There’s actually a lot more to it then that and the show is actually really dark and f’d up but it’s totally my type of humor and i’m just glad this show is coming back on!!
Fast Food Tips – Alright fine this isn’t really a Fast Food Tip but i saw this picture and thought it was really f’d up so this is all you get today…
And that’s it for me today kids!  i hope everyone has a great weekend, right at this second i’m probably 12 beers deep and playing pong and eating the best bbq ever while i’m glamping with my best friends.  You all are probably stuck at work but whatever it’s Friday and you’ll be out in a few hours.  So have a great weekend and i’ll see you back here on Tuesday!!
Cya, @migueljose_85


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