i hate to lose more then i love to win. – Jimmy Connors

28 May

THE BLOG WHERE I FINALLY EXPLAIN WHY I F*CKING HATE THE NEW YORK RANGERS SO MUCH
What is up kids???

i’m in a FANTASTIC mood this morning, better then most other days even.  And why is that you may ask?   Because the GDDAMN NEW YORK RANGERS ARE OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS!!  And oh yeah that reminds me… Hey A$$holes!

LATER DICKS!

“Really miguel?  Do you really need to be a classless NJ Devils fan and rub it in that we lost?  How pathetic is that, considering your Devils didn’t even make the playoffs!!

All great points, but when it comes to my opinion of the NY Rangers i just cannot stress my hatred for them enough.  i f*cking HATE the NY Rangers.  i hate them with my mind, i hate them with my heart, and i hate them with all of my soul.  i literally want them to lose every single game they play, and when by some fluke they make it to the playoffs i somehow root even HARDER for their demise.  Which is why it was SO f’n sweet to watch them lose  Saturday night, and it’s also the reason i drank HEAVILY to celebrate their loss as well as why i will be partying about it all off season.

And you may be asking, “Why do you hate the Rangers so much miguel?”  And i guess i can try to answer that on my blog today.  Because now that i think about it, i know i’ve talked a lot about my utter HATE for the Rangers many times before.  But i do realize that i’ve never really explained where this hatred came from.  So why not get this out in the open once and for all?

It all started back in college, which is when i first became a hockey fan.  i went to Ramapo college (well, my first go around in college at least) and it was there that i met a TON of hockey fans.  And being that a lot of people from South Jersey went to Ramapo there were three kinds of hockey fans at my school.  NJ Devils fans for the classy people, Philadelphia Flyers fans for the South Jersey dirtbags that thought they lived in Philly, and last and DEFINITELY least, New York Rangers fans.  And the craziest thing of all was that all three teams made the playoffs that year!

Not really being fan of the NHL growing up when the playoffs began i had to make a choice.  Which hockey team should i root for?  Obviously i wasn’t rooting for the Flyers, because Philly is a cesspool of awfulness and nothing that comes out of that horrific city is any good except for “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”

So it was basically down to the Rangers and Devils, and being from New Jersey and not wanting to be a “pretend” New Yorker of course i ended up liking the Devils.  i mean yeah i’m a Giants fan in football and i’m a Mets fan for baseball (unfortunately).  But there are no other NJ options for those sports so it’s impossible to be a front runner for liking those teams.  But there was a hockey team from Jersey, so when the playoffs started and the Devils ended up playing the Rangers  i was definitely rooting for my Devils!!!!

But wouldn’t ya know it, that year the Devils got SWEPT by the Rangers in the playoffs.   Are you f*cking kidding me???  i never watch hockey, i finally get into to it so i can trash talk with my best friends and the Devils get swept by the gddamn Rangers.  “So it that why you hate them so much miguel?  Because of all the trash talking you had to hear that night?”  No, and shut up already. i’m trying to finish this story and you interrupting doesn’t help!!

So yeah the Devils got swept by the Rangers, who somehow ended up playing the Flyers the very next round in the playoffs.  But what was more nuts then that was that the Flyers swept the Rangers that next round!  So now all of the Flyer fans were talking more trash then anyone!!!

But wouldn’t ya know it, the Flyers got swept in the Finals that very next round.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  F*ck the Flyers!  But yeah that year the Rangers swept the Devils, the Flyers swept the Rangers, and the Flyers got swept like the big dirtbag aholes they are.  That’s how my introduction to the NHL began, and from that point on i was a loyal Devil fan.  i watched them win the cup in 2000 in double overtime, and i saw them win the cup AGAIN in 2003 in a game seven where the Devils cruised to victory.  At this time in my life the Giants hadn’t won a Superbowl since 1990 and the Mets hadn’t won since 1986, which as you know is 4 years before any girl who wishes to date me was born.  So the Devils gave me the only happiness i knew in sports, and it only made me a bigger diehard fan and one who would always support his team…

And then came that night.  THE night if you will, where everything changed.  It was Monday, March 30th, 2009.  That day my friend Jackie Grillo who is a HUGE Rangers fan and even has season tickets invited me to go see a regular season game of the Devils vs the Rangers at Madison Square Garden.  And since i had never been to MSG for a Devils Rangers game before, and because i hated the Rangers so much what could be better then seeing a game at the enemy’s building??!  So i put on my Brodeur Jersey and went to MSG to go watch what i hoped was a game for the ages!   Except that the Devils lost, and they lost BADLY.  They lost 3 to 0 to the Rangers, who had just shut out my Devils right to my face.  There was not one second of that game that i was able to enjoy, i wasn’t able to cheer even ONCE.  The Rangers had scored first and the Devils never answered, and HERE is when my hatred began…

i got mocked MERCILESSLY that night by literally everyone in MSG.  And yes including Jackie and her husband.  And yeah it was deservedly so, i mean i wore a Marty Brodeur jersey into MSG that night and he gave up 3 f*cking goals!   And of COURSE every fan in MSG yelled at me and mocked me and laughed in my face and chanted “MARTY SUCKS!” and WAY worse things then that the entire game as well as during my entire walk out of that building.

And i just took it kids.  What could i say?  Do i tell them how pathetic they are that they haven’t won a cup since 1994?  And before that 1948?  Do i bring up how there was a stretch of 23 GAMES where the Rangers didn’t beat the Devils back in the day?  Do i bring up any of a million stats that show how much better the Devils are then the Rangers in their history?!?!

No, there was no point.  There was no use in talking back.  i just had to sit there and eat all of their insults, and i had to take what was coming to me in silence.  And i did just that, but i did NOT forget.  No, i will NEVER forget ANY of the $hit that was talked to me that day kids.  NONE of it.  i took every one of those insults and buried them deep, deep into a pit of HATE.  And i swore that day that for the rest of my life that i would ALWAYS root against the Rangers with every ounce of my soul.  i really wanted to just fight the entire arena that night, but there was no way i could punch every single fan in MSG right in the face.  Even if i wanted to the sheer numbers (amongst many other factors) made it impossible!

But from that second on i knew in my heart that a hatred was born.  A hatred that burns DEEP inside me, a hate that can never be quenched.  i wanted and still want EVERY MOTHERF*CKER IN MADISON SQUARE GARDEN THAT NIGHT TO KNOW MY RAGE!!!  And i don’t just want those fans to feel the anger that i had, i want their parents as well as their children and their children’s children to know NOTHING but misery and despair when it comes to hockey. i swear to Christ if i ever found a magic lamp and saw a genie come out and i only got one wish my wish would be that the New York Rangers never won a hockey game again.  EVER.  Literally just season after season of going 0-82, till Rangers fans started jumping off the roof or even onto the ice as everyone in sports tried to figure out how is it possible that this team could never win a game??!!!

And yeah wishing suicide upon Ranger fans seems rough, but i’m not saying that is their only option.  They could become Devil fans if they wanted.  Or even Flyer fans, i don’t care.  You’re all scumbags to me anyway.  Or you could stop reading the scores or going to the games.  Or you could even just stop watching hockey all together.  You could have any of those options if you wanted.  Or you could kill yourself, it doesn’t really matter to me.

But that’s the reason why i hate the Rangers kids, as well as why i’m so glad they are out of the playoffs.  And in an insanely amazing coincidence, today is my friends Jackie’s birthday today!  And she actually reads my blog sometimes, even though she always asks me why i’m such an ahole about her Rangers all the time.

But now she as well as all of you now know it’s because of Jackie being nice enough to invite me to a hockey game.  So thank you to Jackie  for giving me all of this rage, but also for being the MONEY girl who somehow has been married for a long time now but still manages to look great.  And even though i would never say it to her face it’s very possible that this is the best she’s ever looked and she’s DEFINITELY over 25 which as you all know is my limit.  But happy birthday Jackie!!  Hockey season is over so we can be friends again!  Oh wait, you’re a Yankees fan too, gddamn it.  Oh wait…

Let’s go Giants!! 🙂

RANDOM NONSENSE

-Did everyone start watching Season 4 of Arrested Development yet?  You better have, it started on Sunday.  And i’m not positive but i’m pretty sure Netflix is actually giving a free month trial right now.  So if you’re a cheap basterd or Jewish or both you can get it for free and watch the entire season without paying one penny!  Which i know makes my Jewish friend Chuck happy because he LOVES pennies!   Oh and speaking of happy Chuck, happy birthday buddy!!!

-BTW, sometimes i wonder if some of you out there aren’t going to get my jokes.  Like some of you might read that last bit and think “OMG he hates Jews!”  And sometimes i wonder if i should explain that i’m not really racist and if anything i love and respect everyone and i can’t wait to live in a world where we are all treated as “equals.”  And then sometimes i think that f*ck it my readers should know i’m just kidding about that stuff so why explain it ever?  And those who get the joke will laugh, and those who don’t get it and get mad or think i’m serious are idiots and why bother caring what idiots think?  And those sometimes end up becoming most times.

A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The Poppycox”

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE- i feel bad for people who have sports gambling problems.  Obviously they bring it on themselves, but at the same time this is something that should be taught to kids from birth.  Kids she be taught things like, “Don’t do drugs!””Read a book, don’t pollute!”  And last and not least, “Do not do sports gambling!!!!”  i mean think about it, for the most part sports are already the worst thing ever.  Unless you are a bandwagon Yankee fan sports are nothing but extreme letdown and pain and disappointment.  So considering that fact, why would you then also want to throw losing all of your money into this awful mix of depression as well?  Sports already crush your heart and your soul, doing the same thing to your wallet is not a smart idea.  Which is why most men do it i guess….

mIGUEL’S MONEY MOVIE REVIEW!! – Does anyone even remember this was a bit besides Jewell?  Probably not, but like sexy i’m bringing it back anyway.  But yeah the movie “Silver Linings Playbook” was not that great.  i mean i guess it wasn’t the worst movie ever or anything, but it was a “B” romantic comedy at best.  i call it a romantic comedy because that’s what it is.  Yeah there is some drama with the personality disorders that the two main characters are going through.  But basically the whole movie is watching Face from the remake A-team movie try to get with the Hunger Games girl.  And to make matters worse the whole thing takes place in Philly and we all now how much i hate that town.  So watch it if you want fellas, i guess as far as romantic comedies go it’s not going to make you suicidal.  But it kinda sucks and even though the ending almost makes up for it because the film does in fact end strong it’s not strong enough that i’d ever watch that freaking movie again.
And oh yeah speaking of the A-team, i saw this picture and it was just too funny not to post for a cheap laugh…

Fast Food Tips – Are you all aware of the “Summer of Shakes” promotion that Sonic is having?  They got 25 different flavors and they all sound worth trying.  ESPECIALLY the peanut butter and bacon shake.  Oh that’s right, Sonic is the next in line to put out a delicious bacon shake.  My goal for the summer is to try each one of these flavors, and by “for the summer” i mean i’m going to get all 25 at once and go home and drink each one on the toilet bowl until i make my body become lactose intolerant.  And what are you going to do this summer, go the beach?  How original…

And that’s gddamn it for me today kids!  i hope everyone had a fantastic Memorial day weekend, and i hope my blog was able to help you ignore any work you had to do today for a little while at least.  But have a great week and i’ll see you kids on Friday!!

Oh and if anyone out there realized this is the first time EVER that i repeated a quote, well then well played sir!

Cya, @migueljose_85

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    3 Responses to “i hate to lose more then i love to win. – Jimmy Connors”

    1. albin May 28, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

      Haha, best part is I actually think I saw you at MSG that game on line at the little counter that serves the liquor drinks and not just beer. Remember that? Lmao. Little did I know what impact that game had on you. Lmao. Maaaaarrtttyyyy!

      Like

    2. Miguel José May 28, 2013 at 10:27 pm #

      You son of a bitch… This is all your fault!

      Like

    3. Jim May 29, 2013 at 5:43 pm #

      Rangers NEVER swept the Devils in a playoff series. Get your head out of your ads.

      Like

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