Here’s another group of mutants with missing chromosomes who ought to be thrown screaming from a helicopter. Gun enthusiasts. "Yeah, I’m a gun enthusiast." Oh yeah? Well I’m a bl0wjob enthusiast. Wanna see me shoot? Cock this and I’ll discharge a load for you. – George Carlin

18 Jan

What is up kids?

So yeah it looks like i’m going to talk about guns again today.  And before all my NRA gun loving fans leave my blog for good, let me just say first that i HATE guns and i think they should be outlawed and no one should own them! Ever! Okay now you can leave.

NO! Don’t go!  i’m just kidding!  i love guns!  i think everyone should have one!  And not only do i think there should be an armed security guard at every single one of our schools, i think all the children should be armed as well.  With automatic weapons that hold 80 bullet clips!  “The only thing that stops a bad person with a gun, is a good person with a gun!”  – Wayne LaPierre

Haha who uses a George Carling and LaPierre quote in the same blog?  Gddamn i’m a fantastic writer!  But despite my incredible writing skills, no matter what i say about how i truly feel about guns the above paragraphs seem to be the normal dialogue on this gun issue.  You have the pu$$y anti-gun people screaming to get rid of all the guns, and you have all the lunatic bully NRA fringe defending things like being able to buy semi-automatic weapons with 30 round clips at shady gun shows without a background check.  And like most things in this country the rest of us are somewhere in the middle on this issue.  Most people agree that guns should be legal in this country just like the 2nd Amendment says it should, although like with all the rights people have there comes responsibilities and if we are going to let people keep weapons that have the power to end a life there need to be rules.

Honestly, can someone explain to me the thought process of a person who disagrees with that last sentence i just wrote?  Oh wait, don’t bother.  i can totally understand people disagreeing with what i said because people are constantly on television arguing against it.  Some people think there should be no guns at all, and others think ANY rules against these guns they love so much is a slap to the face of the founding fathers and violates the constitution.  But when you really think about, both these kinds of people are a$$holes.  Although these are the people that we let run the discussion on guns in this country, so maybe we are the a$$holes for letting them do so?  The point i’m trying to make here is that America, as a nation, is a big bunch of a$$holes.

Most common sense people don’t see the need for people owning automatic weapons, most people understand that there should be intense background checks for anyone trying to purchase a weapon, and most people agree that this “Gun Show” loophole which lets people buy all sorts of shady guns without any sort of background check or waiting period is just plain insane.  Can we all agree on that much at least?  i know all of us can’t but you know who can?  Most common sense people.  Do you kids even pay attention when you read my blog?  i literally just said it.

So Obama came out this week and used his Executive power to release 23 Executive orders in order to help enforce some common sense gun laws.  i’m not going to list all 23 on my blog but you can read them HERE if you want.  i actually hope you do because i’m waiting for ANYBODY to read this list and tell me which one this country should not be doing or shouldn’t be doing already.  It is such a common sense list it’s almost amazing it’s taken this long to put this list out.

Except it’s not amazing, because no one takes the time to read or learn anything about this issue, and all these people hear from the NRA is “Obama is taking our guns!”  Which is so far from the truth it’s not even funny, but you can’t explain that to a bully.  Because that’s what bullies do when you take something away from them.  They scream and cry and bitch and moan, and then you get to see what cry babies these people truly are.  “Boo hoo the President is doing something!  He’ll never get our guns!  Impeach him!”  Relax you immature pu$$ies.  Take a breath, read the 23 Executive orders if you’re not illiterate, and then come back here and tell me which one you disagree with.  And then i’ll tell you why you’re a lunatic.

And again, this isn’t towards everyone in the NRA.  Like i said before, most people in this country understand there need to be laws and restrictions on guns and that just because people make these laws that does not mean anyone is coming after your guns.  So i’m not talking about everyone who is in the NRA or who owns a gun, just the people that don’t have common sense that also usually happen to be the people making their crazy points the loudest.

i don’t know kids,  i’m just sick of this gun issue.  i’m sick of the fact that for so long we weren’t even allowed to talk about it, and that it took 26 victims getting killed at an elementary school before a real discussion ever even happened.   And were you aware that since Sandy hook that the US gun toll of people who have died has reached 926 deaths?  And probably more since i last researched this?  That’s like a Sandy hook happening everyday.  So when people get mad that the “media” doesn’t report good stories when people are actually saved in a situation because they had a gun, remember that 926 deaths related to guns since Sandy hook that has gone largely unreported and remember that it goes both ways.  Kind of like you in college.

And no, these Executive orders by the President wouldn’t have stopped this tragedy.  But that doesn’t mean they don’t make sense and we shouldn’t do them.  And stop with all this Obama is ruling this country like a king talk because he turned to using his Executive power instead of going through Congress.  First of all that ingrown pubic hair on the bottom of my b@lls has a higher approval rating then Congress.  But those political bags of douche can’t get anything done, mostly because the House hates the President so much and refuses to do anything he wants.

And for the record, with these 23 Executive orders President Obama has made a total of 144 Executive orders!  Holy $hitballs that is a lot!  Maybe he is running this country like a king!  Except that George W Bush had 291 total Executive orders and Regan had 381.  So maybe Obama is not a tyrant intent on ruling the country.  Maybe he’s just doing what every President does and this time he’s doing it against the gun enthusiasts who fought for so hard and with so much money to make sure we never made any progress or had any real discussion on guns.  Most common sense people can see this, and most common sense people will agree with almost everything i wrote.  And while he’s far from perfect, it’s nice to know that at least on the gun issue our President is a person with common sense.

RANDOM NONSENSE

Happy Friday to all you lame parents!

“MOMbook posters”-

-Speaking of moms did anyone read the comments section on my last blog?  Does anyone actually think that is the person who’s been annonomously posting this entire time?  i’d like to hear what you kids think…

-If you win a Fantasy football league, and if you’re like me this year you did NOT, it is common courtesy to tip the Commissioner 10% of your winnings unless you are a dirtbag.  C’mon guy!  You just won 800 bucks, you’re not gonna give anything to the person who held the draft, collected all the money, set all the rules and answered everyone’s dumb questions and debates all year, and is sending you your money so quickly?  It’s the same thing if you win an office pool at work or something.  i don’t care if it’s an “American Idol” pool or that Superbowl box pool you got in because you thought it’d be fun!  If you win you always tip 10% to the person running the pool, and if you don’t you’re a cheap classless basterd who won’t be asked to be in any more pools or anymore leagues.  Thanks for playing!

A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The Brew Ha Ha’s”

Girly Stuff! 🙂 The show “Fashion Police” is actually pretty fantastic.  i mean lets face it, no one cares who wins these awards at these shows.  But we do all care about what they were wearing!  And the only thing more fun then looking at pictures of these women in magazines with our friends at work and bad mouthing them is watching Joan Rivers and the Joan Rangers do it on a television show instead.  And every guy reading this right now either wants to punch me or throw up or both, but let me tell you my alpha male friends that Joan Rivers is RUTHLESS.  Holy S that woman will say f’n ANYTHING.  i honestly can’t believe that show is on the E! channel, she’s a curse word away from getting her show on HBO.  But she’s really funny and you get to see some hot girls wear some skimpy clothing which is nice, especially when they do that “Guess me from Behind” bit where they show a girls ass and you have to guess who it is which i really appreciate.  But yeah fellas put this as show number 2 that if your girl makes you watch it you won’t actually have to kill yourself.

Fast Food FACTSSo apparently that “5 dollar, 5 dollar, 5 dollar foot long!” song from Subway is not just a catchy jingle aimed at making you drive your car off of a bridge.  This song is turning out to be a straight up lie!  Thanks to some Australian guy who put a picture of these so called foot longs next to a ruler showing it to only be 11 inches, Subway has now come out and said that because of the different types of bread that is freshly made! That sometimes the sandwich is not always 12 inches.  Those gddman lying cheating basterds!  It’s not bad enough i have to hear that awful commercial all the time and that your sandwiches are garbage and only partially filled with crappy meat.  Now i’m not even getting all the crappy meat i paid for??  This is an outrage!  Although i have to be honest, i guess i would be kind of a hypocrite to call someone out for measuring something with a ruler and lying about how many inches something was…

Fast Food Tips – And for those of you who don’t care about being lied and cheated to the $5 sub at Subway this month is the Chipotle Chicken and cheese which actually sounds pretty good haha.  You’re welcome.

And for the love of Pete that’s it for me today kids.  And i normally don’t do this but for once i’m going to give you kids some homework over the weekend.  One is for any of you who disagree with me on anything i said on the gun issue.  Please tell me why below!  Or please comment on My Facebook Page  if you’d rather do that.  And also, check out the comment section from my last blog and let me know if you think that is actually “my biggest fan”.  i’ll tell you all what i think next week.
Have a great weekend!  – @migueljose_85
P.S.  Before i go, this guy already said goodbye to his nut but now that the “truth” is out we can all finally say to him…
LATER DICK!




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4 Responses to “Here’s another group of mutants with missing chromosomes who ought to be thrown screaming from a helicopter. Gun enthusiasts. "Yeah, I’m a gun enthusiast." Oh yeah? Well I’m a bl0wjob enthusiast. Wanna see me shoot? Cock this and I’ll discharge a load for you. – George Carlin”

  1. Jim January 18, 2013 at 5:50 pm #

    The measure and lie bit is solid. Like 100%. Refine that and get on stage you procrastinating bastard.

    Like

  2. Amanda Batista January 18, 2013 at 6:18 pm #

    Don't watch the Fashion Police. It rots your brains. And Steve's been calling me a Brew Ha Ha since I frieken met him. I vote yes for a punk band- can I play drums and everyone will call me Animal?

    Like

  3. Miguel José January 18, 2013 at 7:33 pm #

    Of course it's a solid bit. i'm a funny motherf*cker.

    And i am going on stage soon. And when i do i'm going to beat you up

    Like

  4. Miguel José January 18, 2013 at 7:35 pm #

    That show is awful but i'll watch that over Atlanta Housewives any day haha. And i'm 100% down for the band. You can be Animal and take drums and i'll do vocals and keyboard and be Dr. Teeth. Huge fan haha

    Like

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