When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion. – Abraham Lincoln

27 Nov

What is up kids?

It is definitely one cold, rainy awful day out there today.  But lucky for me i’m writing this in the warmth of my house after not waking up to an alarm.  And now i’m relaxing listening to Beck, drinking some coffee as i take my medicine and write my nonsense.  i guess there are worse starts to a day but i can’t possibly think of anything better!

“That’s awesome miguel!  Because after a $hitty commute driving with a$$holes for over an hour, now i’m stuck at my awful job talking to the worst clients ever and i want to take my phone cord and hang myself with it!  So go F yourself you fat lazy basterd!”  

Yeah yeah, i get it.  That’s probably how you should feel.  i mean don’t get me wrong, if it was the other way around i’d feel the same way.  But i had to earn the right to have this relaxing day today.  And it wasn’t easy, it was almost easier for President Abraham Lincoln to get the 13th amendment passed then it was for me to get today off. But much like Lincoln, i fought for what i believed is right.  And even though people told me i shouldn’t take the path that i took, in the end i know what happened will be best thing for me as well as my country. And just like Lincoln tying the 13th amendment to the Constitution along with the ending of the Civil war was a risky move that no one thought would succeed, we all know now that it was the right thing for America.

So in a way, i’m right there with President Lincoln when it comes to being a true fighter for American justice, as well as all of mankind.  And i may not be as tall as Lincoln, but i’d like to think i have the same grit and determination he had, and that one day history will see what i’ve accomplished is as incredible as the abolishment of slavery.  So when you really think about it, a lot you should look at me the same way you look at one of the greatest Presidents this country has ever seen, President Abraham Lincoln.

Okay so i saw “Lincoln” last night in the movie theater.  Could you tell?  So instead of writing a rant for today’s blog last night i’m trying to do it this morning.  But as i already told you i’m rested, relaxed, and enjoying not being at a job right now so it’s kinda hard to “rant” on anything at the moment.  So instead, i’ll give you a  mIGUEL’S MONEY MOVIE REVIEW!!    since i know most of you have probably heard a lot about this movie and wondering if you should see it.  So i’ll tell you if you should now on my review!

mIGUEL’S MONEY MOVIE REVIEW!! So first of all, most of you should NOT see this movie.  And i’m not kidding, most of you will find this horrifically boring and won’t get through a half hour of this movie.  Unless you like politics, in which case you will enjoy this movie very much.  So that’s really the only thing you need to ask yourself, “do i enjoy politics?”  If the answer is yes, go see it.  If it’s no, don’t.  And yes Daniel Day Lewis is incredible and will win the Oscar.  And yes it’s beautifully directed and is an incredible history lesson on how slavery was ended and one that still holds true with today’s values and ideals and it’s a lesson that everyone should learn and know.

But almost all of the movie is watching the process on how to get a amendment passed through Congress, so if that doesn’t sound interesting to you then again, don’t see it.  And the worst thing about them getting this Amendment passed is SPOILER ALERT!! you already know they pass the Amendment!  i’m not sure if everyone in the South is aware of that but most of us know slavery isn’t around anymore!  And oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT!! Lincoln gets shot at the end.

So if you are into politics, you enjoy seeing an Amendment trying to get passed through the House of Representatives, and you like knowing the ending of two major plot points before you even start a film then this movie is for you!

Hey, am i allowed to just interrupt one of my rants with one of my bits that usually goes in RANDOM NONSENSE?  i’m not sure but i did it and i’m okay with it so there it is i guess.  But i hope everyone is having a great day even though you’re probably not.  Especially not as good as the day i’m having!  But good luck out there and enjoy the nonsense!


-Did any people die during those “Black Friday” sales this year?  Like get stabbed or trambled by an angry mob or anything?  And is it bad that i hope some people did? i mean yeah that’s f*cked up to say i guess, but it’d be worse if i lied and told you something different.  Like if i said “i LOVE Black Friday!  i love the fact that we spend one day giving thanks for all that we have, and then the next day we spend 11 hours away from our families outside in a cold parking lot with a thousand other maniacs who want to kill me just so i get that $40 Blu Ray player!  Because that’s worth it to me!” i definitley could say that i guess.  Or i could say that this fake “holiday” normally shows human beings at their absolute worst, and that it makes me sick that we are so superficial that we think cheap gadgets and clothes is the way to be happy in life and not by surrounding yourself with the people you love the way you did the day before.  And that when i see these lunatics pushing and shoving their way into a gddamn Walmart to buy some crappy garbage and a few people get trampled here and there, well i don’t feel bad at all and in fact i laugh from the comfort of my own couch because i’m not dumb enough to do that bull$hit and i hate those people.  Or i could definitely say that.

-Why do i still get excited to get my mail?  It’s literally always garbage, yet i still check for it everyday like i’m going to get good news like a random check made out to me for some reason.  Which is funny, because it’s NEVER that.  i’m pretty sure it’s either junk mail, bills, and that’s it.  In fact, i can’t tell you the last time i got something in the mail that was even remotely good.  i mean don’t get me wrong, i do enjoy the pink notices that GEICO sends me when i’m behind on my insurance payment because i think the color is pretty.  But other then that i never gets nothing.  You would think with all of the awfulness i receive i would only the mail like once a week, if that.  But nope, my dumbass will go and check everyday because i’m not smart.  Thank God i’m hot and great in the sack.

Guy Who F*cked me In Fantasy Football This Week…. DeSean Jackson can’t get me one gddamn point???  Thanks ahole, of course you can’t even do that.  You are on the God awful Eagles, and your team and your town is garbage.  As a sports town Philly is a cesspool of $hit, so if any player can’t get one measly point in Fantasy football i should not be surprised at all.  Your football team has never won the Superbowl, and your Hockey team hasn’t one a cup since 1975.  Way to go d!cks.

Fast food tips – Sonic serves breakfast all day, which is pretty much the reason they are my favorite fast food place i think.  i mean big bacon burritos and a chocolate shake at midnight?  i can already hear my stomach and colon saying “yes please!”  So i’m happy to tell you that Sonic has two new items.  The first is their “Chocolate Mint Holiday Shake” made with “real” ice cream and guaranteed to give you “actual” diarrhea.   But for some reason i like to think when you eat a lot of mint ice cream and then take a dump it makes your butt smell better.  Like mints for your ass.  And oh yeah Sonic also has new “Asiago Caesar” chicken sandwiches that look pretty good so maybe get those if you’re not into the whole breakfast burrito thing.  And if you’re not into that then you are a moron.

“Facebook etiquette”- If you posted the following on your FB page because you actually believed this…

“In response to the new Facebook guidelines, I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!”

Then you are a moron.

That’s enough free comedy for today don’t ya think?  Well i hope everyone enjoys the rest of their week.  i have a feeling Friday’s blog is gonna be a little f’d up, so if you’re into that kinda stuff you might want to drop back in then.  i guess i just got a little more on mind then usually these days…  Good thing i have a blog where i can admit all my crazy $hit on!

Cya kids on Friday!

-miguel jo$e


2 Responses to “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion. – Abraham Lincoln”

  1. Jim November 27, 2012 at 4:49 pm #

    Hey man… its called “African American Friday”.


  2. Anonymous November 30, 2012 at 1:22 am #

    i may be alone in Indianapolis… traveling for work… but atleast I have Mihuel's blog to read while I'm eating dinner alone at a restaurant… thanks for making me laugh… as usual

    love you

    -Stef 🙂


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