We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: Save the planet. What? Are these f*cking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the f*cking planet? – George Carlin

18 Sep

What is up kids?

Man it’s a $hitty rainy Tuesday today!  i’d say it’s one of those days where you just want to call out of work and stay in bed blazin your face off watching nonstop movies or a “Walking Dead” marathon or something but that’s everyday, isn’t it? i don’t care if it’s a gorgeous day out and i just want to call out and go to the beach, or if it’s a monsoon outside and i just want to stay inside and order food and never leave my covers.  Either way, no matter what the weather is it is always the perfect weather to call out of work!  But of course i didn’t so i’m here today.  HOORAY!  Hoo-ray….  

But i do have to say i’m digging this weather bad.  i love bad storms and torrential downpours and thunder and lightning filling the sky.  No so much when i’m driving i guess, because people can’t drive when it’s 80 degrees and sunny let alone once a single rain drop hits the pavement.  But forget it, when i’m safetly inside a building i like to watch the biggest and worst storms EVER.  i’m not happy until i see bubble boy running through the streets telling everyone to get inside, or until i see John Cusack flying a small plane through town telling us we need to get to China.  Or even Helen Hunt telling us to board up the windows because she just saw a cow flying by the window.  Or even (insert whatever bad weather/end of world movie you want here)!

But yeah i do dig storms bad.  i guess because it’s fun to watch Mother Nature show us silly humans who’s the real boss of this planet.  “Whoo look at us!  We can make buildings and Iphones and write poems and can drive cars!”  Oh really?  Well then enjoy this Earthquake and Tornado motherf*ckers and let me know how you’re doing after that!  As a species we are SO full of ourselves.  We think everything revolves around us when in reality everything revolves around me and me alone!  Alright fine it doesn’t, but we do all think that way.  We’re all so self important, we think WE are the reason this Earth was created and we think WE are the species God created in his own image.  Which when you think about it is kind of an insult to God, because who would want to be associated with the things we do?  From racism to rape to hatred and religious wars and persecution and genocide and murder and polluting the planet and not advancing as a society together but instead as individuals and charging people for Healthcare and the dumb shows we watch like X-Factor and Glee…  We are easily the WORST species on this planet yet for some reason we treat this beautiful blue green rock like we own the joint.  Well we don’t own the joint, we are at best temporary renters that in the scheme of things will NOT be here that much longer.  But the Earth sure will be, and i guarantee Mother Nature will not miss our dumb asses in the least. 

So yeah a lot of people get depressed when in rains but i sure as hell don’t.  In fact, when i am depressed i actually love it when it rains.  It makes me feel better for some reason, probably because if the sky and the world are depressed and grey and rainy and miserable then at least i have company!  And the sound of a storm is so soothing, not the thunder obviously but when you’re in bed and you hear the raindrops pelting your air conditioner it’s just one of the most calming sounds in the world.  i’d probably do anything right now to be hearing that instead of these stupid phones ringing or people around me talking to their clients about God knows what awfulness.  But i can’t do that because i’m stuck here, and wherever you’re reading this you are probably stuck where you are too.  But while you’re here i can try and make you laugh i guess, so let’s get to the nonsense and bring a ray of sunshine into your dreary day!

RANDOM NONSENSE

-So i take really long showers.  Like obnoxiously long.  i would say i easily take a 20 minute shower every day before work.  i could probably sleep an extra half hour if i just took a short 5 minute shower but instead i’d rather wake up early and shower it up until the hot water is gone.  idk, i guess i just feel like the longer i’m in the shower the longer it is before i have to face reality and start my day.  And normally it’s not a problem when i do it at my house but it’s the worst when i’m showering in a hotel or at a friends house or something like that because i hate feeling like i’m getting judged for how long my showers are.  Mostly because if you’re in the shower for more then 20 minutes people are just going to assume that i’m whacking off.  Which isn’t true! And trust me, i know plenty of guys who whack off in the shower.  Hell, i’ve seen them do it!  But that just isn’t and never will be my thing no matter how long i’m in there.  And it’s sad because my friends are sitting there thinking i’m whacking my balleens off for 20 minutes straight when in reality all i’m doing is trying to scour off a night’s worth of shame and regret.  And with my horrific lifestyle trust me, that can take awhile… 

Miguel’s Money Movie Review: The “X-Men” franchise is easily one of the best comic book movie crossovers ever.  From the original film to “X-Men First Class”, these movies take a serious look at how this country would actually handle dealing with mutants on this planet and it debates some serious issues on what rights people have and how we treat others on a whole.  HOWEVER, i have one big problem with these movies and i’m gonna say it here.  How come when they did “Wolverine: Origins”, Professor X was waiting for the mutants at the end of the movie and he was standing up, but then in “X-Men First Class” we see him get paralyzed when he is still basically a kid?  They f’n blew it with that!  And i know different directors did each movie but still, haven’t they watched any of the old stuff?  And Wolverine didn’t even come out that much earlier then First Class, it was only a few years at least!  So yeah they blew it with that but overall it’s a fantastic franchise and i love these movies.

ONE HITTERS: How come people who work in Sales always look like people who would be working in Sales?

Guy who f*cked me in fantasy football this week… Thank you to Larry Fitzgerald and Andre Johnson for totaling 4 F’N FANTASY POINTS this weekend!  That’s awesome guys, way to score only 4 more points then i got this weekend and i’m not even in the NFL.  Yet.  But oh yeah also thanks to me for benching Eli Manning for Tony Romo when Eli threw for his career high and 3 TD’s and Romo was garbage.  And it was also a good move to pick up Danny Amendola in all my leagues so that he could blow up on my bench with 16 catches and 150 yards and a TD.  Man i hate fantasy football….

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE –My job is an absolute nightmare.  i mean this time of year is super busy so it’s to be expected that it’s worse then usual.  But for some reason every year i want to believe it’s not going to be as bad as it ends up being.  But like that old saying goes, hope for the best and you can expect my job to make you want to buy a bottle of sleeping pills and vodka and take a nice eternal nap.  But for real, i feel like everyone wants to blame the government and Obama because the economy is down.  But has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe the people who are in charge of all these businesses are just not intelligent and they have no idea how to run them?  i mean honestly, how many of you work at job where you know the people in charge have no idea what work you ACTUALLY do?  These people know nothing about real life and only know the numbers they read on charts and reports.  If any of them would EVER take two seconds to actually ask the people that did all the work what the best way to do things was maybe all of these companies wouldn’t be going out of business.  But that won’t happen because people in power refuse to listen to people below them.  Way to go buddy, just enjoy all your control and do things your own way and your way only and never listen to anyone else for help or good ideas.  When your company goes out of business and you lose your job and all of your “power” maybe then you’ll realize how f’n dumb you are.  Or maybe not because you are a moron.

Fast food tips – So unfortunately there is no Red Robin by me.  Which really sucks because they are introducing some CRAZY items for Oktoberfest.  Because let’s be honest, when you think Oktoberfest you think Red Robin!  But in addition to their Cheezy pretzel bites with beer mustard and their Oktoberfest burger which is complete with a toasted pretzel bun slathered with beer mustard and topped with a fire grilled patty melted Swiss cheese and onions and black forest lettuce they also just introduced a new Oktoberfest milkshake.  “What’s in the shake?” Well i’ll tell you my thirsty friends, it is made with Sam Adams Oktoberfest draft, vanilla soft serve and caramel.  Maybe it’s because October is the month that has Halloween but just the thought of that Oktoberfest shake makes me go…
WHIP!!!
 
And that’s it for me today kids.  i hope everyone has a fantastic Tuesday and gets a chance to watch this awesome storm outside!  And oh yeah i apologize if there are more spelling and gramatical errors in this blog then usual “is that even f’n possible you gramatical nightmare?!?!”  Yes, yes it is.  But yeah i don’t have a ton of time to proofread this today so hopefully some if not all of this makes sense.  i can dream, can’t i?
See you on Friday!! – miguel jo$é
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4 Responses to “We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: Save the planet. What? Are these f*cking people kidding me? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the f*cking planet? – George Carlin”

  1. Anonymous September 18, 2012 at 8:08 pm #

    Clifton Red Robin

    Address: 265 NJ 3 E., Clifton, NJ 07014
    Phone Number:(973)470-9222
    Hours: Sun-Thu: 11a-11p Fri-Sat: 11a-Midnight

    not around the corner from you but also not a ridiculous hike if you REALLY NEEDED to try the milkshake.

    entertaining blog today…as usual =)

    love you, stef =)

    Like

  2. Miguel José September 19, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    so you're saying you are definitely down to go to Red Robin with me… 😉

    Like

  3. Anonymous September 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    I love X factor and glee lol

    I don't need to say who I am lol hahaha u know

    Like

  4. Anonymous September 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm #

    I posted that too quickly. I love food and I love(d) red robin – I went there over the summer and it was a disaster – not going back – red robin – yuck! (Figures you would love it – u hate what I love )

    Like

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