My goal is to blackout less… very difficult goal to track. i think i’m succeeding, but i might just not remember failing. – Sheng Wang

14 Sep

What is up kids?

Happy gddamn Friday!  Well hopefully for you, that picture up there is a pretty accurate representation of how i woke up this morning.  Gddamn football!  It will be the death of me, no joke.  Sundays are bad enough, but now i’m going to be getting bombed every Thursday night too?  i’d say i have a problem but as of now i’m playing my boy Rob in a best of 7 best of 7 series and i’m up 3-0.   i’m not positive if i explained that correctly but i ain’t not that great at English and you know how bad i am at math!

But yeah remember that fantastic mood i was in at the beginning of the week?  Well i’m still there but MAN did my f’n  job try to ruin it.  BAD.  i keep trying to keep things in perspective but it’s tough when you’ve been at a place as long as i have.  i won’t admit how long i’ve been there on this blog because the thought of it makes me wanna throw up, i’d almost date someone who was born the day i started at that place.  Haha alright maybe not, that girl wouldn’t even be a tween yet.  And that’s rough even for me!  i got two rules, keep it classy and keep it legal.  In that order.

Am i making any sense today?  i feel like i’m not but it’s probably just because i’m tired and hungover.  And oh yeah because i’m not making any sense.  Oh well, these can’t all be gems can they?  “If by all you mean NONE of your blogs are gems then yes!”  i love how it’s so easy for you to kick me when i’m down, you’re like most and/or every girl i’ve ever met in my life.  Although i guess i deserve it so whatever, you got me there.

Haha alright i’m just gonna get right to the nonsense today.  For a plethora of reasons i guess but mostly because it’s Friday and there ain’t no time to focus on being down!  It’s gorgeous out, i have the day off from work, my fantasy football teams are 3-0 and i was up against Jay Cutler last night who only got 9 points!  Plus my car is fixed again even though i never told any of you it broke down but whatever i got it back again, and i have a few extra duckets in my pockets for once in my life.  So things are good, actually great i must say.  So let’s stick to the ha ha’s today and get to the nonsense and start off our weekend right shall we???

And for the record, the way i woke up in the bathroom this morning was rough.  But not as rough as the time when i woke up in the bathroom of that bar after Cinco De Miguel that one year…

RANDOM NONSENSE

-So after giving blood for the first time i have found out that i am “O positive” blood type.  Which isn’t as good as O negative which is a universal donor but other then that type O positive is the second highest donor that most people can receive blood from.  And now i’m thinking, should i give blood more often?  i mean i guess so but i’m not gonna go out of my way to do it or anything.  Is that bad?  idk, it didn’t bother me at all to do it but i don’t want to feel inconvenienced all the time and go be giving blood every other day.  And i didn’t even get a cookie!  What the hell’s the point of thinking i get a cookie for giving blood the whole time and then i don’t get no cookie.  Stupid Bloomberg, i bet he banned cookies after giving blood.  He hates cookies and soda i think.

-You can’t use “white” lighters ever because they are bad luck.  Doesn’t everyone know that??  i don’t even understand why they make em, who buys them $hits?  It’s be like living on floor 13 of a building, you just don’t do it.  Now if you have a white lighter and you make like a red mark on it with a Sharpee or something that is totally fine.  Or if you put a cool sticker on it or something like that, anything to make it not just a plain white lighter you are money.  But yeah i never use just straight up white lighters because i believe in that sort of thing.  Don’t judge me, don’t even get me started on all the wacky religious nonsense you people are into!

The “Spicy Sweet Chilli” Doritos are the best Doritos there are, HANDS DOWN.  Done, end of story. Holy $hitballs kids have you tried this amazingness?  i just filled my boxers with spicy sweet chilli just thinking of how fantastic these chips are.  And they are like a meal, like if you didn’t have dinner and all you had was these Doritos you would totally be satisfied.  And by satisfied i mean you may still need to go out and get more food but it will probably be to the 7/11 to get some more gddamn Spicy Sweet Chilli Doritos!

– i don’t watch wrestling anymore even though i’ve watched it almost my entire life.   i used to LOVE wrestling, back in the day with Stone Cold Steve Austin and the Rock and the N.W.O. and Sting in the crow make-up and Degeneration X and dropping “SUCK ITS!” to people’s faces.  MAN that $hit used to be fun.  But it’s mad gay now and i hate it and i never watch it even though Alberto Del Rio has the best angle in wrestling that i’ve ever seen as the “Mexican Aristocrat”.  Anyways, the point of all of this is i just have to say that Hulk Hogan’s entrance music when he turned bad and joined the N.W.O. with the Outsiders Hall and Nash, that his entrance song as “Voodoo Child” by Jimi Hendrix was the best entrance music of any wrestler of all time.  And there’s been some money ass entrances too that’s for sure, but Hogan and his air guitar and black and white feather boa was the f’n MONEY entrance.  Just needed to put that out there.

Man i HAD to lose some female readership on that last bit.  “OMG miguel how can you talk about wrestling?? Who cares?!?!”  But did you notice she didn’t bat an eye when i was talking about the spicy sweet chili Doritos and leaving spicy sweet chili in my shorts?  Of course she didn’t care, all she could think about is how good those Doritos are and wonder how quick she could get some.  “Maybe i can stop at that corner store on the way home, they probably have them.  Or maybe i could stop at Shoprite, they usually have pretty good sales i could probably get two for 5 bucks.  But i don’t want to stop at that shady Shoprite by me, i’d rather go to that nice Shoprite in Ramsey.  They have everything.”

Well anyways the point of that wrestling bit was to let you know it’s not ALL about you ladies!  i don’t care how hot you are and how much i love you all!

Fast food tips – Speaking of Bloomberg, McDonalds is now making it mandatory to put the calories of their food up on the menu next to the items. And some people hate this rule, and some people are overweight aholes who HATE being reminded of just how bad the food they are about to eat is for them.  Jeebus Christmas kids, you can still order all the awfulness you want.  But at least now you have to see for yourself just how many calories you eat when you have a Big Mac meal with a large coke and fries AND that $1 McChicken sandwich AND the 4 piece nuggets with 3 different sauces.  Like i said my friends, there’s a war out there between those that profit on Americans eating garbage and those who know how important a good diet is to your body and soul.  i mean don’t get me wrong, sure it’s okay to eat this crap once in awhile.  But the last thing you want to do is do a twice a week column on fast food trying to get people to go out and try …

ANNND that’s it for me this week kids.  i hope you all have a fantastic weekend, i’m about to go get my chores on and enjoy this beautiful day off so i hope work goes by quick for all of you and i’ll see you next Tuesday with some new $hits and giggles for you all!  – miguel jo$e
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