i think the most interesting thing about (Dazed and Confused) is that for Matthew McConaughey and Ben Affleck these were the best roles that they have EVER had. Ben Affleck was cast perfectly as the super senior bully O’Bannion, his role as that meathead bully jerkoff was truly the pinnacle of his carrer. Alright fine, not including "Reindeer Games" Jewell. – miguel jose

31 Jul

What is up kids?

Man, there were 10 comments on my last blog!  That is the money!  And sure 7 of them were from me but still, that makes me happy.  Thanks to those of you did comment, and thanks for those of you who comment on my Facebook page as well.  Have all of you “liked” my page yet???  If you haven’t you’re blowing it so here’s your chance again Here Comes the Money on Facebook!

And for those of you who have been mocking me day and night because i still had an oldschool flip phone, i FINALLY got a phone that has Interwebs last night.  i know i know, i’m so 2000 and late.  But yeah, after having certain issues with my old phone (and by issues i mean i snapped the screen part off from the numbers part) i went out and got a Droid Razr.  “OMG YOU F’N FOOL!   HOW DID YOU NOT GET AN IPHONE?!?!?  THEY ARE THE BEST PHONES EVER AND YOU’RE A MORON TO NOT GET ONE!!!”  You see, that’s EXACTLY why i didn’t get one.  i can already hear the tightening of everyone’s buttholes who own an Iphone that just got so mad when i said i got a Droid instead.  Iphone users are so elitest, they are so hoity toity if you will.  It’s not like they can just accept you don’t want one, they have to put you down and make you feel bad for going against their precious “Apple” product.  Droid users aren’t like that. They’re just like “oh you got an Iphone?  Good for you, i hope you dig it but i love my Droid.”  Whereas Iphone users are like “YOU GOT A DROID INSTEAD OF AN IPHONE!  I F’N HATE YOU!!  YOU SHOULD DIE ALREADY, YOU’RE A MORON AND A DISAPPOINTMENT AND NOBODY LIKES YOU!  AND YOUR FATHER SAID PICK UP EGGS WHEN YOU COME OVER FOR BREAKFAST SUNDAY!!”  Awww, mommy!  i get that you hate Droids but why put me down so much?  And why are you yelling?

But yeah now that i gots my interwebs phone i feel like that can only help my blog, because i definitely want to make it more interactive.  With all of the comments yeah but also i’m gonna finally try to be more active on the “Twitter” as well.  So if any of you fools just can’t get enough of my sparkilng wit and personality then you should follow me on twitter too!  i’m @migueljose_85

“Jesus Christmas you self promoting ahole! Do you have any other topic today besides letting us know how we can follow you 24/7 since apparently reading your nonstop ramblings twice a week and then commenting on your blog and Facebook page isn’t enough for you??!  And for real, did you start today’s blog off with a quote from your OWN blog that you used yesterday???”  Why yes, yes i did.  And for once there is a method to my madness.

i used that quote today because i wanted to write again what i ACTUALLY said about Ben Affleck.  The quote i used today is literally what i said word for word, and if you read it like a sane normal human being you wouldn’t see anything bad with it.  All i said was that personally, i find Dazed and Confused to be Ben Afflecks best role and that he was perfectly cast as the actor for that part.  Doesn’t sound too bad right?  Unless you are some wacky broad with a Ben Affleck crush that RUSHES to defend him even though no one is saying anything bad about him.

I love Ben Affleck but otherwise ur blog was awesome ;)”  Really Leigh?  Because i’m pretty sure all i said was that i prefer him in that role. Sure i teased him about Reindeer games but overall i thought it was a pretty complimentitive comment.  Is “complmentitive” a real word?  Leigh should know, she’s actually a very talented writer and blogger who has her own blog at http://green4u.wordpress.com/, a fantastic blog for those of you who actually care about the environment and would actually like to make this world a better place.  Yeah yeah i know, it’s easier and more fun to not care and do nothing ever.  But there are some good people out there like Leigh who truly believe every little bit helps.  And her blog is the money, between healthy recipies and great ideas on how to “go green” in your daily life, Leigh’s blog is both informative and entertaining which are two things my blog is NOT.  So go to her blog to get informed and then come to mine for the ha ha’s, it’s okay that we’re different.  And by different i mean that she is a nice person and a i’m a classless lowlife.  But nice person or not, apparently she’s a TAD sensitive if you bring up Ben Affleck.  So if you comment on her blog be careful of what you say about him haha.

And while Leigh’s comment was on the mild side, nothing was better then the comment from my alltime favorite reader Stefanie.  “WTF the only good movie Ben Affleck did…seriously?!?!?!?!…he was amazing in Armageddon (I still cry every time I watch it). Dogma was sick, he was adorable in Forces of Nature and Jeresey Girl, and Pearl Harbor..oh my god there are so many other movies…I can’t even believe we’re friends right now!” 

Jeebus Christmas Stef!  i know Twilight fans that were less heartbroken over Robert Pattison cheating on Kristen Stewart then you were over me saying what i did about Ben Affleck!  All i said was Dazed and Confused was his best movie, and next thing i know we’re not friends anymore and i get threatening texts sent to me saying you will find me and murder me in my sleep!  Alright you didn’t do that that last part, but i know you wanted to haha.  And yeah i normally don’t post these “Ecards” on my blog, even though i gotta be honest they are MAD funny.  But this one Ecard really sums up Leigh’s reaction, Stef’s insanity and any other girl that got heated when they read my Ben Affleck comment…

RANDOM NONSENSE

-“It’s not Pattison miguel it’s Pattinson! Get it right!”  Relax my little vampire teeny boppers.  He’s a cheating dirtbag and a gay vampire, do you really care if i get his name right?

-i’m trying to get into the Olympics but i gotta admit, i really just don’t care.  Whoo hoo Olympics!  A million different sports that i would never watch ever unless it was the Olympics!  And i don’t think it makes you unpatriotic to watch the Olympics either.  Really?  i’ not a good American because i don’t root for these kids that give up their ENTIRE childhood to train all their lives for a sport that lasts 20 seconds and then they disappear into obscurity, forgotten all about by the country that once loved them?  Well i guess i’m a bad American then, and for once it’s not just because i’m a Mexican.  The only sport i do dig though are the women’s sports. Some of these ladies are huge brutes that look like me in a wig but with smaller boobs. But OTHERS have these super tight and fit bodies that definitely make me light my own Olympic torch.  Go Brazil!

-So i guess you can’t really say the word “faggot” anymore.  Apparently that is a super bad word and a racial slur, which sucks because as a guy you’re pretty used to calling your closest friends faggots all the time.  And we don’t use it out of hatred for gays, we use it out of hatred for our friends.  But hey, i get it. Those queers are mad sensitive so we can’t use faggot anymore.  Wait, we can’t use “queers” either? Gddamn it what can we still say?  Whatever, i’ll stop using the word faggot and maybe i’ll stop using queer too, but i won’t stop saying things are “gay” if they are gay. Like for example, dude if you just saw that Brazil pic before and your penis didn’t start crying tears of semen then you are so gay!  Or hey buddy, that shirt you are wearing is the gayest thing i’ve ever seen!  So yeah i’ll never stop using that.  Because honestly, you can’t have every word in the English language gays! 

-Speaking of racist, do you all want to see the most RACIST $hit i have ever seen in my life??? And no, i am NOT kidding.  You know how Amazon sends you deals and stuff that they think you would like? Recommendations just for you and that kind of nonsense? Here is the ad that i opened up from Amazon in my email the other day, i KID YOU NOT!!

C’mon Amazon.  Really?  i buy blu-ray movies, Devils hats, glass pipes, and all sorts of other nonsense. And THIS is what you are gonna recommend to me? i’ve never bought ANYTHING like that on Amazon, i’ve never even bought the movie “The Lawnmower man” or  the “The Secret Garden” for crying out loud!   i don’t know who exactly yet but i swear i’m suing somebody! Just like my black friends should sue Amazon for sending them recommendations on how to get KFC coupons..  And if any of you laughed when you saw that lawnmower picture or even when you heard that KFC joke that means you are racist and i’m suing you too!  i’m suing everybody gddamnit!!   “You mean like the homosexuals who are going to sue you for that last bit you did on gays?”  Motherf’n gays strike again…

“You know what’s a really great movie, “Lawnmower 2!””  Shut up Jim Kohl.  Whoo hoo i like horror movies!  Just stick to your doodles already…

“Facebook etiquette”- i think waiting for a girl to friend you first on Facebook is the new waiting two days before calling a girl after you get her number.  Why should i be like every other ahole guy who is sending you friend requests all day when i can just lay back and be cool and wait for you to friend me?  i mean let’s be honest, i’m the gddamn MONEY.  i know you want to friend request me so just do it.  And the guy who friend requests you the same day he meets you is mad lame.  “OMG ACCEPT MY FRIEND REQUEST SO I CAN CREEP ON YOUR PICTURES!  That’s basically the same as calling her the same night she gave you her number, and we all saw how that worked out in “Swingers.”  Play it cool for once son.  Be patient.  Like Kenny Powers said, “Make em wait.  It’s good for them.”

Fast food tips – So i hope any and all homosexuals aren’t offended by anything i said today.  i feel like you guys are open season to be made fun of just like any race or creed or religion, or anything really.  i’m an equal opportunity basher of peole’s cultures so you should only be offended if i DON’T go after you once in awhile.  Although if you read my blog you must know how i really feel about gays because i am one.  NO! i was drunk and needed the money.  NO! No one can prove that anything happened.  NO! i mean nothing happened!  But yeah even if you didn’t read my blog on Gay rights you should at least know how much i hate Chik-Fil-a now and refuse to eat their food anymore!  Well not totally, i mean if there is one around me and i want one of those chicken sandwiches i’m gonna get one.  Let’s not be crazy here, they are delicious and have a pickle!  But i’ll support the right to hate them because the owner is a hate monger!

And that’s it for me today kids.  Keep those comments coming everyone!  And like my page and follow me on Twitter and help me become rich and famous so i can stop doing this and stop talking to all of you forever!  Haha i’m just kidding.  i just want to be rich not famous.  But yeah help spread the word if you can, these blogs keep getting better and better and we’d just be selfish to keep all this comic genius to ourselves.  So let’s share it with the world!

And oh yeah part two of my movie spectacular blog is this Friday, i hope you guys are ready…

-miguel jo$é

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13 Responses to “i think the most interesting thing about (Dazed and Confused) is that for Matthew McConaughey and Ben Affleck these were the best roles that they have EVER had. Ben Affleck was cast perfectly as the super senior bully O’Bannion, his role as that meathead bully jerkoff was truly the pinnacle of his carrer. Alright fine, not including "Reindeer Games" Jewell. – miguel jose”

  1. Anonymous July 31, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Bitches get stitches! Welcome to the Droid era Grandpa.

    ND 🙂

    Like

  2. Anonymous July 31, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    How would you like to mow my lawn? ..Faggot

    Like

  3. Jim July 31, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    A Lawnmower Man reference, and a me reference? Is this blog sweeps week?

    Like

  4. green4u July 31, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Miguel…. thanks for the shoutout, I feel especially honored that you mentioned my blog with a picture of one the Bazilian Beach Volleyball Ladies! Super Classy!

    I would also like to point out that our blogs are a lot alike… I called for a boycott of Chick-fil-a a long time ago on my blog for their use of styrofoam! And that day that A-hole Dan Cathy started following me on Twitter so get your butt on twitter!

    PS I love Ben Affleck and most of his movies (jersey girl was an obmination… I blame Jlo)

    Like

  5. Miguel José July 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    it depends how big is your lawn? And how much do you pay for hour because HEY WAIT A MINUTE GO F YOURSELF!!!!

    Like

  6. Miguel José July 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

    Only you would take being reference with the movie lawnmower man a compliment haha

    Like

  7. Anonymous July 31, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

    I laughed so many times throughout this blog… sorry that I went crazy on you but I'm very protective of Ben Affleck lol… and yes Jersey Girl was not one of his best but he was adorable in it but let's not even mention the debacle Gigli that shit was just horrible…and also JLo's fault

    but anyway…love you Miguel and your blog 🙂

    Stef 🙂

    Like

  8. shannon August 1, 2012 at 3:11 am #

    Hey, I like Ben Affleck too but there's no denying that O'Bannion was his best role ever. It's just empirically true. His role in Mall Rats wasn't bad either.

    Like

  9. Miguel José August 1, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    i'm still figuring out this phone but i will be following you on twitter today!

    And i'm glad you dug your shoutout, your blog is money and i think it's a great thing you do. And i agree, your shoutout with the Brazillian volleyball pic is as classy as it gets. Because we all know you can't spell “Classy” without “ass”! 🙂

    Like

  10. Miguel José August 1, 2012 at 2:10 pm #

    So both you and Leigh both rush to defend Ben Affleck when i wasn't bashing him, and then you BOTH blame the Hispanic for Gigli being so bad. Um, that's pretty racist…

    Like

  11. Miguel José August 1, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    Yeah he was definitely money in mall rats, he was great in that statutory rape scene at the end haha.

    And thanks for always reading my blog Shannon. i've been rereading all my blogs from the beginning and you've been commenting from day one. i can't tell you how money that is, i really appreciate it! 🙂

    Like

  12. Anonymous August 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    Yo only reason I didn't get an iphone is bc the g-tunes music downloader app on Droid. Get it now!!!! Free music downloads. I have 800 songs on my phone all free. That's at least 800 beans on an iPhone.
    JJ

    Like

  13. Miguel José August 2, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    yo lend me $800 beans? i know you gots it

    Like

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