When you’re on a golden sea, you don’t need no memory. Just a place to call your own, as we drift into the zone. – Weezer "Island in the Sun"

29 Jun

On an island in the sun, we’ll be playin  an havin fun,
And it makes me feel so fine i can’t control my brain…

What is up kids?

So after the best weekend ever last week i am gonna try and top it this weekend.  Because as you kids read this i am in beautiful Cape Cod Massachussettes with my family right now.  We’ve done this trip every year for as long as i’ve been alive, so over 25 years!  We get a cabin on a private Beach in Brewster, Mass and we stay there for the July 4th week.  It’s mad peaceful and quiet, but at night you can still have a bonfire on the beach and get loaded on beers all night listening to tunes.  Sounds pretty money, right?  It should, it is the best $hit ever.  And i can’t f’n wait to get there!!!  Cause as you read this i am there, but as i write this i’m at home in my basement trying to finish this S so i can get the f*ck out of here and get to Cape Cod already!!

So i’m gonna keep this piece short and sweet today.  i’ve already got my car loaded with my stuff, there’s a 30 pack of Natty light in my trunk because i keep it classy wherever i go suckas!  And also because in my town a 30 pack costs 17 beans, in Cape Cod it’s like 30 bucks for a case.  Do the math kids!  i know the Jewish people reading this know what i’m talking about, i don’t waste my money my hebrew homeys!

So i guess i can say i’m kinda in the best mood ever right now.  For real, i still haven’t gotten over how sick those shows were last week, and now i’m going to my favorite place on the planet with my favorite people in the world.  Oh and my older brother Ray jr will be there too.  WHOOOOOPSSS!  Who saw that burn coming??!  Haha i’m just calling him out because i don’t think he reads my blog and he should.  i know Rachael does, and hopefully Tomas still does.  And i even think Lori does too even though she hates my Liberal nonsense (i’m an independent i’m not a Liberal!).  And i think my parents read it sometimes even though ALL i do is try and write awful and outrageous things just to get them to finally stop reading already!!!  Or you can read but never, EVER bring up my blog in front of me ever!!  Which my mom knows already and never does so she can keep reading i guess.  And reading my horrificness makes her pray for me which is good because Lord knows i need someone to pray for me.  Although i’m pretty sure i’ll get into heaven.  i do eat meat on Fridays during Lent and i never go to church not even on Christmas, but i’ve never killed anyone and i try to be a good person! Or decent at least.  Maybe not horrible?  Alright, hell it is!

So yeah that’s all you’re gonna get out of me today. It’s time to get movin, i got a brand new Joe Rogan Podcast to listen for the drive up, a full tank of gas and a bottle of water and a Snickers which are the staple of any good road trip.  Little Spiga prefers water and sunflower seeds but he’s Italian so what are ya gonna do.  Anyways i hope everyone has a fantastic gddman weekend and enjoy the summer nonsense!!


-Not having Central Air is like not having an HD TV these days.  Don’t you f’n hate it when you go to someone’s house and they don’t have central air??  Jesus Christmas what is this, the 1800’s??  Let me know when you’re done getting water from the well because i’m thirsty as hell in this heat.   And yes, i’m aware i live in a house that doesn’t have central air.  Obviously i know that and i obviously i know how ghetto it is.   How ghetto is it do you ask?  It’s like not having an HD TV i’d say, that ghetto. You f’n jerk-off.

-How come girls are the only ones who get flowers?  Why would i not want flowers?  They are f’n beautiful.  And they smell nice,and they bring pretty colors into my otherwise dull and boring life.  And they’re very easy to take care of.  Water them up?  Yeah i can handle that.  And if i can’t water them they’ll just die, and who cares because you know that from the beginning anyways.  And NO!!!  NONE of you can send me flowers now!!!  i would have wanted them before i wrote this blog but now that i admitted this in my blog it’s too late.  So don’t get me flowers, and ESPECIALLY not sunflowers because they aren’t my favorite or anything.

“OLD SCHOOL” NONSENSE -i still have an old phone, i haven’t updated to a “smart” phone yet.  Although one good thing about having an old phone is being able to stop texts after you press send that you REALLY did not want to send.  That has saved me a least a million times.  People with Blackberry’s not only are so 2009, but they also try to sell me on the BBM feature that they love.  “It’s like texting but better because it happens immediately!”  Um yeah that doesn’t sound better to me.  i need time to think about what i’m writing and make sure that i say it right, and when in a last minute panic and i realize i don’t like what i just sent i still have a few seconds to save my mistake!  i would be in a lot more fights and arguments if everything i said the first time went though.  And yeah yeah i’m getting a new phone soon, but until i do i’ll still appreciate some of my old school features.

Haha i wrote that bit in September of last year and i STILL don’t have a smart phone.  Whatever, lick my balleens iphone and droid users!!  Oh and look something up for me on your phone? Because i can’t…

Fast food tips –Burger King now has “Bacon Sundae,” in an apparent move to try and win over people’s hearts and put a hard on in our pants.  There’s not too much too describe with this, it’s a hot fudge sundae with bacon, the end.  i had planned to give up fast food for the summer, but now i’m thinking i have a new plan that will involve me buying one of these bacon sundaes everyday and eating one before masturbating to see which orgasm is better. 
YES i just did this same fast food tip a few blogs ago!  But i had another one and it was so bonerriffic that i’m posting it again !!  And i’m going on vacation once i’m done with this so i’m phoning it in right now, are you happy?  i don’t know but i know i sure as hell am.  Remember where i said i was as you are reading this right now??  But i can’t get there till i finish this, so have a great weekend and i’ll cya on Tuesday.  And oh yeah, here it comes.  Berlin B this one’s for you…
 LATER DICKS! – miguel jo$e

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