Soy un perdedor. i’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me? – Beck "Loser"

22 Jun

What is up kids?

Happy Friday kids!  “Who cares about any of that???  Why is tomorrow going to be the best day of your life ever??”  Thanks for asking, the one person who remembered i said that at the end of my last blog.  i must admit, i am FIRED UP for tomorrow night.  More so then i’ve been for anything in a long f’n time.  In fact, i can’t wait till today is over already even though it’s Friday.  i just want tomorrow to be here already!!!!

But yeah before i get to that, i want to talk about someone who has been on my mind a lot lately.  Yeah yeah, of course it’s a girl.  And yes she’s the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen, an no i’ve never told her that.  And yes this girl is real, and no it’s Mary Jane again.  This girl is real, and the thought of her gives me this indescribable emotion that clouds my head and wrecks my soul.  i thought i was finally over this but i feel like lately i just can’t just get her out of my mind and/or heart and it’s really distracting me from trying to…  “NOOO!!   NO MORE GDMAN BLOGS ABOUT YOU CRYING ABOUT SOME BITCH!!  JUST TELL US WHY TOMORROW IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE ALREADY OR WE’LL KILL YOU!!!!”

Haha okay.  And i tried to give part of it away with my quote and the picture i used to start today’s blog but anyways…  i’m going to see Beck tomorrow!  He’s playing at the Music Box in the Borgata in Atlantic City which is the first time he’s been around this area in years.  The Music Box only holds 1000 people so this place is MAD small.  And i just got my tickets the other day and i’m basically sitting 5 rows from the stage.  So yeah i’m going to have the best seats ever to my favorite artist ever tomorrow night.  My only worry is that Beck will actually be distracted on stage by the loud sound of me crying like a little girl in happiness and the popping in my pants that will be so loud that even my zipper will break.

But yeah if i haven’t mentioned before Beck is my favorite EVER.  Basically if George Carlin was a musician he’d be Beck.  i’ve been a fan of Beck since “Mellow Gold” in 1994 when “Loser” first came out and my next girlfriend had just been born.   To this day many people think that he’s a just one hit wonder with that song, and for awhile Beck wouldn’t even play it in concert.  Not because he hates his fans, but because Beck is a musical genius the types of which this world has rarely seen before.  He takes on genre after genre of music, from rock to hip hop to country to folk and latin music, paying homage to them in a fun yet respectful way.  And this all comes from a skinny blonde haired white boy from California who can rock Radio City Music Hall with the craziest and most fun concert you’ve ever been to.  Or, he can bring you to tears in a small place like the Music Box playing his acoustic guitar and baring his heartbreak and soul for just a small crowd.

But yeah that’s how much i dig Beck, and i can’t f’n wait to see him tomorrow.  Although just seeing him isn’t what is making this the best night ever.  Beck is playing at the Music Box at the Borgata at 9 pm that night but ALSO, earlier in the night at 7 pm at the Borgata…  Jim Gaffigan is doing a show that night as well!!!  Wait, did i just say Gaffigan and Beck are playing a show at the Borgata tomorrow night and i’m going to both f’n shows?!!!??!  boooooooooooooooWHIIIIIIIIIP!   This is what it looked like in my pants just now as i said that   ==D~~   POP!

But yeah i’m getting to see my favorite comedian and favorite musician on the same night, and that night is tomorrow.  So let me finish this flippin blog already so i can get through this day and party my face off in AC tomorrow.  And if i happen to die this weekend and you guys never hear from me again, please don’t shed a tear for me because as long as i get to see both shows tomorrow, that night combined with the Giants Superbowl win in February and the Devils knocking the Rangers out of the Playoffs last month and even finally getting to see the Mets pitch their first no-hitter when Johan pitched one weeks ago i can honestly say life cannot get better then this.  And if that means LATER DICKS! for me then so be it!!!!


-“OMG miguel you’d better not die this weekend!”  No no, i’m not going to die this weekend, relax.  Although i don’t get why you’d care that much, we are all caught up once it hits December 21st of 2012 anyway.  Or if Mitt Romney wins the presidency, either way we are all doomed.  “Whoo hoo political talk!  You are so f’n edgy and classy you Liberal douchebag!”  i’m sorry you feel that way, i can only HOPE you CHANGE your mind.  WOW this bit was terrible.  But like i said, my best night ever is only HOURS away so i’ll write anything just to get through this blog!

-“Soy un perdedor” means “i’m a loser” in Spanish you honkeys.

-Speaking of concerts, if you are planning on getting tickets to one you’d better get an even number of people to go with.  Unless you are getting a bunch of tickets you’d better only be looking for 2 or 4 seats because NOBODY sells 3 tickets to anything!!  Apparently concerts are only for couples or double dates because i guess no one wants anyone bring a third wheel to concerts.  Seriously, me and two of my friends were the only ones who wanted to go tomorrow and it was the f’n hardest thing ever to try and find 3 stupid tickets to these shows.  And there’s no real funny bit here or on this blog in general, but if i can give you the heads up on this, hopefully in the future you will actually listen for once and either get one friend to go with you are 3 friends to go with you because you already have the knowledge that it is almost impossible to find just 3 tickets.  i know my blu-ray bit taught someone else that blu-ray players can also play DVDs, so apparently my blog does reach at least one person sometimes. And no, i won’t embarrass Rob by telling you all it was him who didn’t know that blu-ray players also play DVD’s until he read my blog.  Even though all he does is work with cameras and videos and has worked on several TV shows and has been in the business for years.  i won’t do that because i’m a nice guy.  But seriously, trying to get only 3 tickets to a show sucks my big fat hairy ballsack so don’t do it.

“OLDSCHOOL” NONSENSE-To all people ordering food at restaurants, you never have to tell your waiter or waitress the following statement: “You can just bring out the food whenever it’s ready!”  Oh really?  What do you think i’m waiting for Ahole?  i mean thank God you told me that because your food’s been ready for a 1/2 hour, i was just assuming you wanted to wait.  Could you give me more awful tips on how to help serve you better?  “i see that you have a full drink in front of you, do you need a refill?  Oh wait i get it, i should probably wait until you finish the drink and then give you the refill.  i’ve only been a waiter for 5 years, can you please give me more useless advice?  Because apparently i need it….”

A Great Name for a Punk Band! “The Hubba Hubbas”  Man that is a fantastic name, i’m glad i write these down in a blog!

“Facebook etiquette”-Hey guy who has to “like” EVERY SINGLE THING I POST…. relax already!!!  It’s bad enough i had one math class with you back in 2003 and barely remember who you are, and to be honest what i do remember about you is that i thought you were a creep.  Now you need to “like” and comment on every gddamn status update i make?!??  From the second i friended you i regretted it, so thanks for confirming the fact that i’m never going to friend creeps like you again.  And oh yeah… stop openly stalking me on FB ahole!!!!

i wrote this last bit from a girls point of view “you mean as opposed to your normal girly point of view???”  Shut up jerk.  But yeah i wrote that from the girls point of view because i gotta believe the FB experience for a girl, especially a hot one has to be WORLDS different then what us guys go though.  For the most part us dudes just check out your pics and hope you put a new hot one up occasionaly and say happy birthday when the time comes.  But you girls must get the most AWFUL responses to your status updates or comments, and God forbid i knew the creepy personal messages you get from these potential date rapists.  So yeah dealing with that must suck, but you also get hit on non-stop by dudes so you gotta take the good with the bad i guess!

Fast food tips – McDonalds must be feeling the heat from the ORGASMIC bacon sundae at Burger King so right now they are offering a Smores Pie which i gotta be honest looks pretty money.  i’m sure it’s not as good as the Hershey pie that Burger King has and i’m positive it’s not even close to the same level as the bacon sundae.  But sometimes you end up stuck at McDonalds and since you can’t get those delicious BK treats there you might as well try this nonsense.

That it for me amigos, i gotta start mentally preparing for this incredible weekend that i am about to partake in.  i hope everyone made it through this heatwave alright, and by made it through i mean i hope you didn’t post any pictures a thermometer or the temperature reading on your car dashboard on Facebook because if you did you are the worst.   But i hope you all have a fantastic weekend even though it can’t possibly be as good as mine, and i will see you kids on Tuesday!
And oh yeah, since it’s the start of the summer i wanted to leave you with a nice summery pic of Kate Upton on the latest GQ cover.  Cyaaaaaaa!  – miguel jo$e

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