What is defeat? Nothing but education. Nothing but the first step to something better. – Bruce Lee

1 Jun

What is up kids?

That’s the money quote to start off this blog, right?  You can thank my boy Jay John who used this Bruce Lee picture as his FB profile pic because once i saw that i immediately stole it.  And he doesn’t care, because he’s my boy and i love him.  “OMG miguel loves boys! i knew it!”  Wow, way to take the easy set up.  i made that super obvious on purpose just to see how many people would jump in with that boring joke IMMEDIATELY and you didn’t disappoint me did you!

But yeah i love that kid JJ for real.  And i love a lot of people actually,  i can easily say i am a person that is filled to the brim with love in my life.  Is that weird for a guy to say that?  i’m sure some of you get uncomfortable reading something like that.  Mostly because a lot of my friends are meathead jocks that are so busy yelling at each other to do peer pressuring bull$hit even though they are in their thirties.  NONE of them have time to grow up and realize it’s okay to say how you feel sometimes.  That’s right Spiga, stop playing the tough guy and just tell me you love me already!  Haha it was nice seeing you at the OL brother!  You look great but when i hear your lifestyle as a married man it makes me feel years younger then you haha.  And i’m glad you still read my blog, and of course you dug the porn one!  You sicko…

But anyways, isn’t surrounding yourself with love the only way to win this awfully unfair game known as “life”?  That’s what i think is the secret anyways.  Who cares if you have a huge mansion and expensive cars and can fly around the world from beach to beach?  If you can’t go out and have those experiences with people you love, is that even fun?  “Are you kidding me?  Of course that stuff matters! If i had all that i’d be like,
LATER DICKS!!!  i can always find new friends, i already hate the ones i have!  Just give me money and things, i do not need any love in my life!”  Well played ahole,  not having a heart and not caring about anyone else but yourself is the only other way to win this game so touche.  Personally that’s not my way to live life but good luck with that.

i’d rather just make sure that i always let the people who i love know that i love them.  And trust me, i definitely was not always like this.  i fought with my parents all the time till i was like, 21ish maybe?  And holy S balls was i a straight up terror.  Like i wasn’t a bad kid that got caught up in drugs or cut classes and squeezin asses or anything.  Instead i was always just dying for attention and i would question EVERYTHING anyone told me, and i would turn everything into an argument. Especially with my parents, all i did was push their buttons nonstop.  How either my mom or dad didn’t just choke me out in my sleep one night is beyond me.  For real, i’m the main reason i don’t want to have kids.  If i had a little ahole brat like me i might go to jail.  Go to your room miguel jose jr!  “You mean my room with all the toys and my Ipad and my blue ray player?  Nice punishment buddy, maybe you should go cry on your blog about it!  LATER DICK!” And then the next thing you know you will read “Dirty Mexican father kills his first born beaner” Article read by miguel josé.   A little callback Jewell??  i told you these blogs would be better then ever.  You’re welcome.

So yeah i’m all over the map today but who cares.  It’s Friday and it’s beautiful out and i gots a lot of love in my heart and i ain’t afraid to show it.  And i’m gay!  Wait, no i’m not!  That thing that happened with my roommate was never proven, it never happened, and it wasn’t even a big deal because we were both drunk and neither of us remembers it so it can’t be gay.  Can it??   Alright, enough of that.  There was something else i wanted to say. Oh yeah, Happy Gay Pride Month everyone!

RANDOM NONSENSE

-Did you ever notice how much girls love the Disney movie “Aladdin”.  “OMG miguel i love that movie!” Yeah yeah, i know.  And good, you should love that movie.  i mean don’t get me wrong, it is a fine Disney flick and all.  But i don’t care about any of that.  The real reason i’m glad girls love that movie so much is because if you’re a girl and you love “Aladdin,” basically you are saying you are into the idea of banging a dirty thieving minority just to make your parents mad.  And i dig that whole concept BAD.  Because let’s be honest, most white girls know their parents wouldn’t be happy if they brought home some dirty brown skinned thief, especially when they are from a well to do family in the nice part of town.  But that’s why deep down, all you ladies have those secret feelings of having wild crazy sex with a dirty minority, and the fact that he’s not good for you and the fact that he’s poor and the fact that your parents would go nuts if they ever found out only make it hotter.  So keep enjoying the movie “Aladdin” my female friends! Trust me, the message you are trying to send out is getting to me loud and clear. And for the record i look great in a vest and you can pet my monkey all you want!

-That Nissan commercial when they ring that alarm every minute every time they sell a car… what the f*ck is that bull$hit about?? Why do i want to hear an alarm nonstop for a minute?? What are you guys, a$$holes??  If you read a news story about the guy who created that commercial getting murdered in his sleep with a sledgehammer, and you want to suspect that i’m the one who did it i honestly do not blame you and for once you are not being racist.  “What if we think you killed him with some hedge clippers?”  Well then yes, that would be racist.  So go F yourself!

“OLDSCHOOL” NONSENSE- When i come into work after a long 3 day weekend and look at my emails, i always notice the clients who emailed me over the weekend.  They may email me on a holiday Monday, or Sunday or even that previous Saturday. i look at these emails and ask myself what pathetic awful lowlife is so anti enjoying a long three day weekend that they have to email me on gddamn Saturday during a holiday weekend? You KNOW i’m not going to see it until Tuesday morning.  Hell, i’m not going to see it until Tuesday afternoon the way i ease into things after having 3 days off.  So your best bet is that i read your email by lunchtime Tuesday, and you will probably lose that bet.  And despite this you still feel the need to email me first thing Saturday morning.  What a horrific life you must lead if those are the things you are thinking about over the holiday weekend.  It makes me laugh that this client is emailing important work information at the same time i’m doing funnels of Natural light and puking up two day old pizza in my back yard just to make room for the new pizza we just ordered.  Oh the different lives we lead…

“Facebook etiquette”-Hey guys who can’t help making comments when girls post hot pics on Facebook… you are ruining everything for everyone!  Those “subtle” comments you make are not subtle, you no game having lowlife.  And adding the smiley face does NOT help.  “Wow that’s a nice… bathing suit ;)”  ‘That dress really brings out… your “eyes” :)”   NO AHOLE!!!  DO NOT POST THAT!!!.  When she takes that picture down because you are a creep i am going to f’n kill you!!!!

i know i’ve done a fb etiquette similar to this in the past but you guys keep making creepy comments so apparently you have learned nothing.  Man i hate you.
Fast food tips – It’s Free donut day at Dunkin donuts!  If you buy any beverage from Dunkin Donuts you get one free donut!  So if you tried to stop there on the way to work today, and you saw a line of aholes out the door so you just bailed adn went to work and made coffee in the kitchen instead, which totally sucks because it isn’t nearly as good and because all you wanted and had your heart set on that medium turbo hot with cream and sugar… now you know why!

So no thoughts on the new look of the site?  “People would actually have to read your blog to know anything’s changed jerkface!”  Well played, but i still thought someone would say SOMETHING.  Oh well, if i’m the only one who realizes how money i am so be it.  It wouldn’t be the first time!  And you don’t have to think it’s money, and you don’t have to love me but i’ll tell you right now i love you!  Well not all of you, but the hot girls who read my blog i am definitely in love with you!  Or at least some of your body parts…
“You should have ended the blog already, you are blowing it with this last part!”  Man you called me out a lot today, but you are probably right.  See you kids on Tuesday! Love you!! xoxoxoxoxo – miguel jo$é
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2 Responses to “What is defeat? Nothing but education. Nothing but the first step to something better. – Bruce Lee”

  1. Anonymous June 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm #

    this is the first time in so long that I actually read this on a computer and not on my phone…the layout on the phone didn't look different…but on the computer it does…and it looks like crap =)….jk i love it and love you hahahaha

    -stef =)

    Like

  2. Jim June 1, 2012 at 8:27 pm #

    Nice … umm…”wording” 😉

    Like

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