i guess i was a combination of House of Pain and Bobby Brown, i was ‘Humpin’ Around’ and ‘Jumpin’ Around’. Jacked her then i asked to who’s the man she said B.I.G. Then i bust in her E Y E – Notorious B.I.G "Dead Wrong"

3 Apr

What is up kids?

Haha alright, i’m not gonna lie.  i’d probably put that up there as one of my most ruthless quotes to start off this blog.  Cause i figured why not?  i went mad sensitive with that last Beck quote i used on the last blog.  And most of my quotes are some deep heartfelt $hit so i figured i’d might as well show my diversity.  And by diversity i mean that i like and enjoy some f’d up $hit sometimes.  And by sometimes i mean most times.  And by f’d up $hit i mean most of you would look at me differently if i told you what i meant!  And by that i don’t mean it has anything to do with underage girls, i’m not a sicko.  Although if any of you pay attention to my blog and that’s where your head went to i don’t blame you and i thank you for paying attention.  But for real, i told you i like barely legal girls which according to the law of the United states is legal so stop judging me.

Haha alright, i’m not gonna lie.  i’d probably put that up there as one of my most ruthless opening blog paragraphs. But it had to be done, just like Biggie had to put out that song.  Puff Daddy always produced the cheesiest music and had Biggie do all this catchy stuff that would make mad duckets.  And that sounds like it should have been bad but Biggie was so f’n good he could rap any style about anything and make it the best rap song ever.  But then he would do a song like this and you were like “oh yeah, this cat is f’n RUTHLESS”.  Like when later in the song he drops, “i’m using rubbers so they don’t trace the semen, the black demon, got the little hookers screamin’.  Because you know i love em’ young, fresh and green. With no hair in between, know what i mean?”

MAN that song is raw!  But oh well, some people dig that S and i gots to be honest, as mad gay and sensitive i get sometimes i also get mad ruthless too.  But don’t most people?  i mean, i guess you gotta pretend somethings offensive sometimes even if you don’t find it so.  Like when people make fun of Religion, or make a 9/11 joke i know i’m not supposed to laugh even though sometimes it’s funny.  “No it’s not! It’s never funny miguel!”  Alright fine it’s never funny. Sometimes it kinda is though.  Or most times really.  And should i admit that to anyone? Probably not, this is the stuff you really only admit to your close friends, not over a blog.  But whatever, i probably shouldn’t admit some of that stuff i have about my feelings i had during my break-up with my first love 30 years ago either.  But i’m a complicated fool that tries not to be, just like Luke Wilson in “Bottle Rocket”…

Miguel’s Money Movie Review- Speaking of “Bottle Rocket” have you all see the trailer for the next Wes Anderson movie, “Moonrise Kingdom”?  For some reason Jewell was at my place this weekend and we never brought it up, probably because we’re old and i was mad that he beat me in beer pong.  But yeah if you didn’t know and you should, Wes Anderson is my all-time favorite director.  Quentin Tarantino is mad close because i love his films too.  But Wes Anderson’s films are just art to me and i dig them bad.  “The Royal Tenenbaums” is my favorite, followed by “Bottle Rocket” then “Darjeeling Limited” followed by “Life Aquatic” and then “Rushmore” and “Fantastic Mr. Fox” i guess.  But just because i have an order doesn’t mean i love any of those films any less.  This is an Olympic race type finish where the difference between first place and dead last is only a few milliseconds.  i think this new one is gonna be my new favorite though, i just have a feeling.  If you are interested here is the trailer.

Now i know it’s pretty rough to review a movie that hasn’t even come out yet but if you haven’t figured it out i want  my movie review section to be different then everyone else’s and i think so far i’m doing the money job so i’ll just keep doing what i’m doing if you don’t mind.  And stop caring so much when somethings a little different then what you are used to, that’s what keeps life interesting is a little change and controversy and insanity.  Kinda like getting ruthless for no reason on a blog when you normally keep it pretty tame…


RANDOM NONSENSE


-So i’ve finally decided my favorite Britney song is “Piece of Me” off Blackout.  And i’ll admit a lot of it has to do with a friend of mine who got me into Britney (no it wasn’t Jewell) who told me it was her favorite song so i was probably biased off the bat.  And for the longest time i thought my favorite Britney song was “Circus” because the chorus is mad catchy and it gets me SO fired up.  And it’s hard to argue if you dig the “Till the World Ends” remix with Kesha and Nicki Minaj because honestly that version is RIDICULOUS.  But “Piece of Me” does have the dirtiest message to all her negative media like for real, you’re always calling me out but you’ll all over my $hit so suck it you want a piece of me.  Or that’s how i take that song anyways.  Plus the beat is real dirty and it’s just a fantastic song.  But yeah that’s my favorite one, i figured i’d just thought throw that out there for those keeping track.

-And alright since i’m admitting more and more stuff about me in this blog…. that new Justin Bieber song -“Boyfriend” isn’t horrific.  i mean compared to his other stuff and compared to other garbage on the radio it seems just as bad as the other awfulness which is honestly a compliment.  And don’t ask me why i heard it because i have no good reason.  But yeah i heard it and it’s not that bad so way to go Beebs.  Between this song and your choice is beautiful Mexican teens i gotta say i’m a fan.

-Do people pay full price for clothes when they go shopping?  Or full price for anything actually? i literally walk into a store and head right for the clearance section because if it’s not 65% off i ain’t buying it.  What am i going to do, pay full price for some bull$hit when i can just wait till i find things on sale?  And for real, if you’ve ever gone to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought stuff without using the 20% off coupon you are a money wasting moron.  “But my coupon is expired!”  Well if you were smarter you’d know that Bed Bath and Beyond accepts even expired coupons because they know they are way too expensive and everything should be 20% cheaper all the time.  But yeah i literally only buy clothes on sale and food on sale.  If i’m not going to find deals at the supermarket i might as well be one of those aholes with a cart at CVS paying ridiculously higher prices!  But no, i’m not one of those idiots.  i’m the guy who gets his dress shoes at Kohl’s because with the right sales and coupons you can get the money dress shoes for $6.78.  And no i’m not kidding.  And oh yeah i’m Jewish.

“OLDSCHOOL” Tips for “OLDSCHOOL” Video Games: -To regain energy between rounds of “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!” on Nintendo don’t forget to hit the select button.  You can only do it once per fight so there is some strategy to it so make sure you when you hit select you make it count!  i don’t know how many of you still play Nintendo let alone “Punch-Out” but if just one of you goes “oh yeah!” when you remember this trick then this column has served it’s purpose!  And yes i’m still working on the font for this bit…

“OLDSCHOOL” NONSENSE- It is NEVER okay to share a toothbrush.  Ever.  i don’t know what gives some of you the idea that just because you make love that makes it okay to do even more horrifically disgusting things to each other, but it’s not.  It’s not and never was.  “But we kiss, what’s the difference?”  The difference is when that when we’re making out and my johnson is at 12 o’clock the idea of sharing your juices is the hottest thing ever.  But if i’m getting ready for work and i see you shoving my toothbrush in your mouth when we BOTH know how bad your morning breath is the idea of then using that toothbrush right after you makes me want to vomit…which defeats the purpose because then i’d just have to brush my teeth again anyway!  But yeah having dirty nasty sex in the bedroom does NOT mean i want to bring those dirty habits into the bathroom.  And definitely not on my toothbrush!

A Great Name for a Punk Band! – “Likeable Nazi’s”  Alright that was pretty rough, even for this blog.  But it’d be funny for a punk band’s name and some of you will think it’s funny.  Probably not my Jewish readers though and for good reason.  But just the idea of trying to make likeable nazi’s a band name was just too funny not to put down.

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. THIS IS REAL LIFE:  


Annnnd i’m spent.  I feel like this was one wacky blog but i’ve been in one wacky mood lately so that description is probably apt.  And i have a good reason to be feeling wacky, i’m finally at 100 likes for my “Here Comes the Money” page on Facebook!  So those of you waiting till i hit triple digits before you decide to like me on Facebook you can go “like” my page now!  http://www.facebook.com/HereComestheMoney85

But i hope you all have a great week, i’ve got a pretty f’d up topic for Friday i think so let’s keep this wackyness going, shall we?  If i’m losing any of you on these blogs with my topics let me know.  It won’t change what i’m doing but i’d be curious to hear.  You can always stop reading or you can just keep enjoying the money i’m dropping on you fools twice a week and be happy that i do it at all! 

Cya Friday! – miguel jo$é

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