For if i ever saw you, i didn’t catch your name. But it doesn’t really matter, i will always feel the same. Love you forever, and forever. Love you with all my heart. Love you whenever we’re together, love you when we’re apart… – The Beatles "i will"

20 Mar

A Trilogy of heartbreak: by miguel jose

Part two: The Two Towers.

Do they Gandalf?  Hahaha you’re welcome Rob.  Anyways part two of one of my favorite blogs i ever wrote. Why?  Because the reaction from most of  you has been downright hilarious.  i mean, i guess i should feel a little embarrassed because everything i wrote in this letter to my ex is HORRIFIC.  But i don’t know, i guess because i’m over all that pain now, and i guess because it was back in high school when i was still a gddamn kid, i guess it just doesn’t bother me to put it up on my blog.  Plus i know most of you have written some type of awfulness like this back in your own day, or even recently!  So i kinda figure it’s hard to judge me when you are all guilty of the same thing! Except you cold hearted people who don’t actually care about anything.  i’m sure these words and feelings that i express in my letter are as alien to you as true love.

But yeah it doesn’t bother me to post this $hit.  Especially when i know that personally this heartbreak was SO long ago.  Although to put it in perspective, if you are a New York Ranger fan it must be crazy to know that when i wrote all of this that this is LITERALLY the last time you won the Stanley Cup!  So to me i’m like “OMG this is so long ago!” But if you’re a Ranger fan you’re like this is literally the last time we won the cup so to hear your heartbreak is rough but it makes it tougher to realize that even though you are writing about the distant past and you’re writing about your first heartbreak like it was SO long ago that the time period you speak of is still the last time the Rangers won that fluke cup and that maybe any of the life i spent since then watching Hockey is a complete joke because now that i look back on it it was SOOOO long ago that the Rangers won the cup and i should just give up on hockey and all the Ranger players are low life dirtbags and winning the cup will never, EVER happen in my lifetime.  Maybe that’s what you should be thinking about if you’re a Ranger fan…

But anyways here is part two of my letter.  i hope you enjoy it!

Listen, hurt me all you want but when you tired to tell me that everything i said to you and believed in for so long and still do to a point is worthless and you don’t believe it… well you might as well talk to a brick wall for i will never believe those lies no matter how convincing you may try to make it sound.  All i’m trying to say is that although for some reason you choose to let my existence bother you so much, you have to know how much i love the fact that i  was the only guy who made you feel “special.”  i may not anymore, which again does not bother me However it is the fact that you think so negatively about yourself now which really does bother me.  You also think i’m happy that your relationship with (i’m not using names, so let’s just say this guy’s name is “Slappy!”) Slappy didn’t work because he treated you like $hit.  What the f*ck is that about?  You think i want to see you hurt? Of course you do, you think everything i do is out of spite.  If i can’t have you no one will.  Well jesus christ all i can say is that i’m sorry for you that you feel this way.  If you think i like bad things to happen to you then stop reading this right now and just burn this letter because that means you are beyond anything i’m trying to tell you.  i don’t think that you reached this point however, which is why i’m trying so diligently to be there for you. Listen, i meant everything i ever said.  i don’t need a relationship with you now but i do want to know that the one person that will always be in the back of my mind and heart realizes she is beautiful, and is the most special person in the world.  You may not care if you are special to me, but realize enough people  care about you to know that you are special to yourself….

BAAAAARFFFFF!   Holy f’n S balls if i could punch old school me in the face right now i would!    But i can’t, this is all real.  This is how i felt, this is what i wrote, and this is the pain that is someone’s first love.  i don’t know who made it through both of these rants but i can tell you now that the finale this Friday f’n CRAZY, and i think it’s a fitting way to mark my one year anniversary from when i started “Here Comes the Money”…

But yeah i hope you kids are finding my heartbreak somewhat entertaining.  There have been a bunch of girls since my first love but this story i just told slash am telling is the big one, the heartbreak that started it all.  All other tales since then are just variations of this one.  But this one is the first, this one hurts the most, and all of you afterwards including the ones i still lose sleep over can’t compare to this original heartbreak.  i’m not saying some of you haven’t had me in the bathtub with a razor to my wrists.  i’m just saying after being hurt this bad i don’t think i ever let myself get to the point where i could get hurt this bad again.

But enough of this nonsense for today!  It’s the first day of Spring and it’s time to make you kids laugh already.  So let me get to already shan’t i?


-What’s the deal with the string around the waist on athletic pants?  Is it me or does EVERYONE always lose one end of the string on one side, and then it’s f’n IMPOSSIBLE to get that $hit out ever again?  Then you try to just pull it out on the one end but it just scrunches up your pants.  Are scientists f’n working on this problem???  “Well miguel, what you can do is straighten out a hanger and push the string through the…” BULL$HIT.  i ain’t getting no hanger, i ain’t doing $hit.  i’ll just go through life with none of my athletic pants having a gddamn string in them.  Oh well, i’m over it.

-So the Rangers beat the Devils last night, and the season series is now ties 3-3.  HOWEVER, the Devils are still ahead as far as Cups and being a classy organization and not being a bunch of kid touching lowlifes.  Because let’s be honest, Rangers fans are into kid touching and more kid touching.   Alright fine, maybe 100% of them are not into kid touching, but most ranger fans and ranger players are into it.   i back that up by no facts, other then the fact that they haven’t won a cup since 1994.   Does that seem forever ago to any of you?  It should, especially girls i’m in to.  But no matter how embarrassed i should be about writing all these blogs about a high school girlfriend, ranger fans should be more embarrassed by he fact that the last time they won the cup i was actually dating the girl i am talking about in real life.

Has anyone else noticed how bitter i am about the Devils losing last night?  i am a little bit i guess.

-i actually dig recycling.  Not because i care about the planet or anything, even though i kinda do i guess.  But it feels good when the recycling truck comes by and takes away both garbage cans full of natty light cans, vodka bottles, wine bottles, and whatever cheap beer we were drinking that week.  We collect so many f’n cans from playing pong and just drinking in general that it feels real good when the truck takes them all away.  It’s almost like a cleansing of the sins, like i’m getting a clean slate to start over again.  Does anyone else feel this way about recycling?  No one?  Well okay then.

A Great Name for a Punk Band! – “Creampie Surprise”  Alright, i will admit that out of all my great punk band names this is the least best one.  But for those of you who know what this means i know you think this is the funniest thing ever.  And those of you who don’t know what it means better not look it up on your work computer unless you want to get fired.  Oh and anyone in my family don’t look it up period.  But yeah it’s hilarious.

Miguel’s Money Movie Review- Do you guys remember the movie, “the Ring?”  With that creepy girl in the well and all that nonsense?  i guess if there is one good thing about living in the future now is that no one watches VHS tapes anymore so no one would ever get cursed again and get killed 7 days after watching it.  Unless that girl had the power to switch over to a DVD or Blu-Ray somehow.  Or maybe she could switch herself up so she’s on Netflix, who knows.  But to me it’s funny that somehow there’s some cursed VHS tape which would haunt people forever except for the fact that there is technology so now that creepy girl is CAUGHT UP.  7 days my ass Jewell.

Fast Food Tips- i don’t know if i said this on my blog before but Popeye’s chicken is way better then KFC.  It’s not even close.  And this is from someone who writes about Fast Food twice a week and has eaten both types of chicken on the same day, within hours of each other.  For research…  

Anyways, for the 40th Anniversary of Popeye’s they have an 8 piece mixed special for $5.99.  And i ain’t that great at math but i believe that’s either less then a dollar per piece of chicken or close to it.  But yeah the special is one day only and it’s tomorrow March 21st so make sure you go out and take advantage of this because their chicken makes me go boooooWHIP!  You’re welcome Chuck.  But for real this deal is fantastic and if you don’t get it you’re blowing it so don’t blow it and get the money chicken.

This Friday will be one year since i started my blog!  Has anyone caught on to how excited i am about this yet?  i’m pretty fired up kids, for once in my miserably horrific life i actually stuck with something and i didn’t quit on myself.  Way to go me, you’re kind of alright sometimes.  But yeah this Friday is the one year anniversary and the finale of my awful love letter.  Can life get any better?  Yes, yes it can.  But right now i’m doing okay in mine so i’ll enjoy it as long as i can.  And i hope you are enjoying yours too, and i hope you enjoy your week and i hope you all come back on Friday for the finale!  –  miguel jo$é

One Response to “For if i ever saw you, i didn’t catch your name. But it doesn’t really matter, i will always feel the same. Love you forever, and forever. Love you with all my heart. Love you whenever we’re together, love you when we’re apart… – The Beatles "i will"”

  1. shannon March 21, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    So what you're saying is, “If you really wanted to screw me up, you should have got to me earlier!”, right? Can you revisit 4 other break ups after this one?


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