I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.- Dr. Seuss

2 Mar

What is up kids?

Finally we’ve made it to gddamn Friday!  Holy $hitballs this week was FOOOOREEVVEEEERRRRRRRRR…  Did everyone else has a rough week of work like i did?  “Oh hey miguel we all hate our jobs and try to read your blog for some laughs and entertainment.  How about instead of making us laugh can you nonstop bitch about your job and your life problems so reading your blog is more depressing then our own lives?  Thanks!”

Alright you sarcastic ahole, i’m not complaining today.  Although i don’t even know if i really want to, i’m in a pretty good mood after catching up with an old friend last night.  Do you ever actually finally meet up with a good friend of yours that you haven’t seen in forever and have a nice fun night of drinks and catching up, and then you wonder why you only do it once a year?  If that??  For real, my boy Charles and i have been friends since college.  Well my first college and his only one i guess.  And for some reason even though i love the kid to death we just never make the time to hang out.  You know how it is, you just kinda figure you’ll get around to it eventually but this weekend isn’t good because you have those plans, and next month you have that wedding.  And then the summer isn’t great because you’re going away for Memorial day weekend and…

Then next thing you know it’s years later and you’re going through half of your life not hanging out with people you love and care about.  Which is crazy because it’s not like i replace those people with other awesome people in my life.  90% of the people i know are either dumb or aholes or both.  Not you guys, if you guys read my blog then you’re cool.  i’m talking about all the other useless people i interact with on a daily basis.  Them i have no problem seeing everyday and having awful small talk and pretending to care about whatever bull$hit they are going on about even though these days i don’t even pretend to care anymore.  But yeah these people i get to see all the time, but take a guy i truly respect and have a great time with… him i only see once a year.  Way to go me, way to have your priorities in check.  You unmotivated no plan in life having jerkoff. 

But anyways i had a great time last night catching up with my boy Chuck and once i figure out how to get Jewell and Burns into this mix as well i think life just may start picking up.  Because i’m really trying to make an effort with this in my life, i’m sick of not keeping up with the people that mean the most to me including my family.  And that’s another thing, how come families only get together for certain holidays or when a big tragedy occurs?  i f’n LOVE my family, everyone’s mad cool and we’re all funnier then most people and we can drink and party with the best of them.  But besides the annual vacation we plan that i can never attend it’s only things like Thanksgiving, or when we all drove out for my Grandmother’s funeral that we are all “forced” to go out and hang out together.  And then we have the best time ever!  And wouldn’t it be nice if for just one time all of the family got together and it wasn’t for a funeral or other tragedy?  Imagine we just all got together to hang out and do things and we weren’t depressed about something? 

i don’t know, sometimes it’s just crazy how f’n fast life goes by.  And unlike what Ferris said my problem isn’t that i don’t stop to take a look around, in fact that’s all i ever do.  My problem is i stop for so long and enjoy what i’m doing so much that i don’t look at my future ever and never bothering making a “plan” on what i want to do.  Which is definitely fine in some aspects but if you never make plans to hang out with good friends it’s not gonna just “happen”.  So if you get anything out of today’s rant hopefully if you were on the fence on reaching out to someone you miss you just do it today.  Stop putting it off, it actually feels good to talk to someone that you haven’t in awhile.  And considering how much i hate everyone else on the planet it’s a solid move to keep the people you do actually dig in your life!


-It’s Dr. Seuss’s birthday today so everyone say happy birthday Dr Seuss!  Although why do we always do that for people that are dead?  Isn’t that odd to celebrate someone’s birthday after they died?  Wouldnt’ that be like celebrating your anniversary after you get divorced?  Well either way happy birthday and enjoy your day!  Wow that rhymed, i’m a poet and i didn’t even realize it. 

-How come some people are such cotton pansies?  You ever meet these people?  They absolutely FREAK OUT if you put cotton anywhere near them.  What is there f’n problem?  Is there anything more soft and/or less threatening then cotton?  And apparently these people have no problem wearing cotton, it’s just when it’s in it’s “natural” state that they totally lose their $hit.  Like God forbid you throw a cotton ball at them, you might as well punch them in the face while you’re at it you’ll get the same reaction.  Do they realize it’s not alive and that it’s super soft and fluffy?  i know there are ton of you out there but you people who don’t like cotton are weirdos.  Unless you were a slave back in the day then i could where that hatred comes from.  But you crackers need to find some real fears already!  The ones you come up with are awful.

-There is nothing more depressing then when you go into a Hooters restaurant and get stuck with an ugly waitress.  Ugh, it’s the WORST.  It’s not like i go everyday or anything, because let’s be honest the draft beer gives me liquid deuces in a bad way and their wings aren’t that good at all.  But if my options are having a waitress with nice cleavage and tiny shorts serving me awful food and drink, or a waitress in some dumb polo with zero cleavage serving me good food i’ll take the cleavage any day of the week.  But getting your seat at Hooters is a really tough choice, and when you blow it that will ruin your entire experience.  Nothing is worse then sitting with your brunette waitress with the saggy a$$ and B-Cups while you watch the hot blonde who looks like Kate Upton laughing and serving the table next to you.  So choose your seat at Hooters wisely kids, one wrong choice and that horrific dump of flat Coors light beer and 3 mile island sauce that you take later just won’t be worth it. 

-Did i just say Kate Upton? That’s a good enough excuse to put a picture up of her for no reason right?  Right.

-What’s the deal with people who love horror movies? i mean i get that people dig that genre even though i don’t particularly enjoy them.  But is it me or do all people who say they love horror movies just go and watch them and come out saying “that wasn’t scary!”  Every gddamn time that happens.  These people NEVER go see a movie and come out and say “OMG it was so scary!” That never f’n happens.  They always go see all these dumb movies and then come out and say they weren’t scared.  So yeah nice genre deeks, personally i dig comedies but when i go see them i don’t come out saying “that wasn’t funny!”  But i’m the gddamn money so maybe that’s just me.

“OLDSCHOOL” NONSENSE- if i ever meet or have met you at a party or a gathering, i will tell you right now i don’t remember you name.  Unless you are a family member or have been in my life for a minimum of 5 years i don’t remember your name and/or prob don’t care.  i don’t even bother trying.  when we’re shaking hands and you go ” hi i’m….” i’m already tuned out.  i am not paying attention or trying for one second to listen to your name let alone remember it.  unless you’re super hot girl, then maybe i’ll at least attempt to try.  but if you’re average looking or you are a guy your name is “hey buddy” as far as i’m concerned

Fast food tips- It’s still Lent so hopefully all you good little Christian boys and girls are still staying away from meat or you’ll go to hell!  But never forget i’m here to help you kids so today i’m giving you a coupon for a buy one get one free Fish Nibbler at White Castle!  If eating two orders of these fried goodness for the WC doesn’t get you into Heaven i don’t know what will!  You can print the one below or you can friend White Castle on Facebook and print the coupon from the promotions page.  Either way you’ll be respecting your God and your stomach if you fill yourself up with these delicious fish treats!  Because when i think Seafood you know i think White Castle!

That’s it today everyone.  i hope you all have the money weekend and i’ll see you all on Tuesday!
-miguel jo$é

One Response to “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.- Dr. Seuss”

  1. Anonymous March 3, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Thanks dude! I had a great time catching up with you on Thursday!



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