Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one. – Ben Franklin

21 Feb

What is up kids?

Happy day after Presidents day!  “What took you so long to use a Ben Franklin quote on your money blog jerk!” Relax Jewell, there’s none need to call me out first thing on my own blog.  But yeah anyways, all of you know who my favorite president is right? No doubt, it’s the guy on the $100 dollar bill Mr. Ben Franklin! And you know i love him because he’s the original money president and because i’m straight money fool!

“OMG miguel!!! Ben Franklin was never Presi…”

C’mon, seriously? Did any of you really not get that was the joke right off the bat? For real, if you didn’t catch that you  need to tighten up.  You’re better then that. But yeah anyways, happy Tuesday kids! Hopefully you had yesterday off because Lord knows i did NOT. All my friends that are teachers did, and some of them even have off the whole week! And good for them, teachers are the money. i know everyone in this country and especially in New Jersey, whether it be our Governor or anyone running for President as a Republican totally HATES teachers.  But i am, and have always been a huge fan. Their job is ROUGH everyone, people say stupid $hit like teachers only work 8 to 3 and have summers off and all of these holidays off but most of you have none clue what it’s like to be a teacher.

Imagine having to deal with these little f’n ahole kids everyday, all gddamn day. And i’m not talking when they are first born, even though that is a nightmare too.  Although i know all you new mommies can’t bear to be without your little one! Even though you’ve had maternity leave for 5 months while the rest of us had to stay at our awful jobs and not get to spend time at home with our new family. NONETHELESS… that is not what i’m talking about.

What i’m talking about is your kids are aholes, and they are dumb.  And these teachers have the job of trying to teach them things while none of them pay attention or care or even shower.  Did i mention these children smell awful?  And dealing with them while they are going through puberty and all those raging emotions they have, can there be anything worse then dealing with these kids day in and day out?  Oh wait there is, dealing with the parents.

Don’t even get me started on dealing with the parents!  Actually no wait, i will start on it.  The only thing worse then your screaming dumb ass kids is dealing with you uneducated racist clueless parents who have ideas on everything but literally know nothing about anything.  You kid isn’t failing my class because i’m not doing a good job teaching them, your child is a moron and they are failing because they are stupid.  You can have all the meetings you want, you can complain to the principal and the school board all you want but when it comes down to it your “special” little angel is not that special and is DEFNITELY not an angel. 

And oh yeah, on top of this teachers need to deal with bull$hit rules from the school, plus they have all sorts of limitations that stop them from being able to teach them the right way.  From not having the right supplies and/or books and/or enough time, plus they all need to go to grad school and get their masters as well as get a second job because a teacher’s salary is not that high at all.  Plus with Christie as our Governor the ones who don’t have tenure have to be afraid for their jobs all the time!  What part of what i just explained in all of this sounds like fun?  None of it right?  So why do they do it?  Because teachers love to teach, and they will put up with ALL of this awfulness just to do the job they love.  And that is why i’m a fan of them, and that’s why i don’t mind them getting a week off, and that is why i don’t mind repeating a rant i’ve gone on already.  Well that and what the F else am i gonna write about, Presidents day?  Give me a break.

On to the nonsense!


-So they tried to pass gay marriage in New Jersey but Governor Christie veto’d it.  Can someone tell me what year this is?  Is it not 2012?  Grow up everyone, it’s just marriage.  Who f’n cares.   Maybe we shouldn’t put so much credit on something that fails 50% of the time. And those of you so holier then thou that don’t agree with gay marriage what is your f’n problem?  Why do you care what other people do?  If you don’t believe in gay marriage then don’t get gay married.  Doesn’t sound too hard to me.  And don’t give me this crap about how if gay people can get married that it takes away from the “sancity” of your own marriage.  You know what takes away from marriage being sacred?  The divorce rate, and shows like the “Bachelor” and “Who wants to marry a millionaire?” and that kind of bull$hit.  So with all of that going on you think that two people who love each other who truly want to get married is making it less sacred?  Nice arguments deeks.  And don’t tell me your reasons are religious ones either, because one i see people who get married in churches get divorced all the time.  And two once you guys start working on your priest pedaphilia problem then maybe i’ll start listening to other ideas you may have.  But until then shut your trap and let these gays get married and be miserable like everyone else!

-Yesterday would have been Kurt Cobain’s 45th birthday so i listened to Nirvana all day in his honor.  None need to go overboard with any Whitney like tribute but whatever.  That guy was the money so i’ve got none problem using his bday as an excuse to say how awesome he was. You are missed Kurt!

-i feel like it’d be the money if some other country gave us a nice present, like say the way France gave us the Statue of Liberty. i mean that’s what the statue is, it was a gift. But i guess countries don’t do that anymore? Think about it, that statue wasn’t even built here but it’s one of the most symbolic images that our country has. Although when i think about it, i don’t know what gift any other country could give us though. i mean i guess it could be ANOTHER statue but it’s kinda been done already. So what else could it be? Maybe like a big lake? i mean OBVIOUSLY they can’t transport a lake from somewhere else over here but if they sent over a bunch of people to come over and spend a few years digging out and creating this HUGE ginormous lake. And maybe the country that gives us that gift could be Mexico and we could have Mexicans come over and build this huge lake and then they get to stay here afterwards! Alright fine, the whole point of this is that i’m trying to get my cousin and Auntie from Mexico over here and i’ve got zero ideas and this is the best i could do. If anyone’s got any other plans i can try i’m all ears!

-If you watch basketball and i’m guessing you don’t, everybody boos Kris Humphries in every arena he plays in. And if you don’t know who Kris Humphries is and i’m guessing you do, he’s the guy who married Kim Kardashian for a hot second.  But what i don’t get is, why do all these male sports fans hate him so much?  And it’s obviously male fans that are booing him because let’s be honest it’s not ladies filling this basketball arenas. Although to be more accurate it’s not guys either because no one goes to these awful games but that’s not my point.  My point is why do all these dudes at games yell and boo at Kris Humprhries?  Because he got to bang Kim Kardashian?  He should be applauded for that if anything.  And he was smart enough to not stay married to her, well played guy.  And have you seen his eyes? They are totally dreamy.  But anyways i don’t get why people would boo this man unless you watched that Kardashian show and thought he seemed like a real ahole.  But if you’re a guy and you admit to watching that show maybe it’s not Kris Humphries you are booing, maybe you’re booing yourself because you are a fat loser who watches the Kardashian show.  Maybe that’s what it is.  i might get a Humpries jersey.  Either that or i’ll bang Kim Kardashian, one or the other.  

Fast food tips- And for something almost as delicious as those pics of Kim, here’s the heads up on a deal at BK.  It’s “buy one get one free” chicken sandwiches right now and that’s for the original, the Italian, and the BK Club.  So if you’re so far removed from that New Years resolution that you just don’t give a f*ck anymore go treat yourself to two chicken sandwiches of your choice.  Or if you’ve been doing good at the gym and eating right, whatever you do make sure you skip this column each week because if you do blow it i don’t want you blaming it on me.  And besides you’re doing great and i’m proud of you so keep it up.
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNND i’m spent.  Hope you enjoyed today’s blog, and if you know someone else who might dig these ramblings of an insane person please send them my link or at least to my Facebook page!  And if you haven’t liked my page yet stop blowing it and go do it now!

Have a good week kids, i will see you all on Friday! – miguel jo$é

One Response to “Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one. – Ben Franklin”

  1. mrappo22 February 22, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

    AMEN to the teachers rant! I completely agree although I'm biased. Especially about the smelly comment! How do you tell a teenage boy he needs to shower daily?!? And love the gay marriage comment, your right on the money with that!!!


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