If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. – Homer Simpson

10 Feb

What is up kids?

Homer’s picture above says it all for me today.  Today’s rant is gonna be a quick one because i’m mad stressed at work and just overall in a kinda crummy mood.  i won’t bitch about that here because NO ONE wants to hear it, i’m just giving you a heads up this rant is going to be C plus at best.  Random nonsense is still fantastic though so check it out.

i was gonna talk about Valentine’s day and how awful that holiday is but i’ll save that for Tuesday’s blog so what the F is there to talk about today?  Nothing i guess, even for a Friday i’m feeling really blah which sucks.  But it’s definitely because of my job, i just can’t do it anymore.  Why does everything always get worse at office jobs?  New procedures, new systems, new dress code, new rules, whenever this occurs at your job it is always for the WORSE.  And why is that do you think?  If i had to guess i’d say it’s because the people in charge of these places are always clueless and they never have an idea of who does the real work or what their daily lives consist of at their job so all they do is read charts and do bull$hit surveys with other corporate heads and they come up with new things that are always awful.

And i hate that i’m so down at my job now because i’m better then this place.  i mean i’ve always known that but now that they’ve made it impossible to work here i feel it more then ever.  But i HATE the idea of looking for a new job.  From working on my resume to the actual interview to then learning a new job i just really f’n hate everything about it.  And you would think when i leave my job at the end of the day and i’m so fired up from hating this place and being miserable that i would automatically go home and spend all night looking for a new one but i’m just not wired that day.  Instead i go home and have a drink or watch tv and just try to unwind and put that place out of my mind, which i guess is okay for a while but i REALLY need to find a new place.

So basically the point of this rant is that is anybody out their hiring???  Because if you are looking for a sexy sometimes funny Hispanic guy who drinks a lot and occasionally does drugs and it is pretty decent at payroll and loves writing even though my grammar and punctuation is awful i am your guy!  See, that’s me networking.  Pretty impressive right?  Take that Linkedin.

RANDOM NONSENSE

-i feel like it’s so much easier to be black then being Hispanic.  First of all, you don’t have to learn another language.  If you see a black guy you’re just like “hey, that’ guy’s black!” But if you see me your first thought is “i hope that spic mows my lawn soon!” and then you hear me talk in English with no accent and you think “Hey that guy isnt’ even Spanish!”  So off the bat it’s easier because there is no other language to learn.  Well Ebonics maybe but whatever that’s mad easier then learning Spanish.  And alright fine maybe it isn’t easier to be Hispanic but that was a funny point to make so i made it now deal with it. 

-The only good thing about football being over is that i don’t have to watch those dumb ass “Smash” commercials on NBC anymore.  “OMG a show about Broadway!  Singing and gayness!”  Um, no thanks.  i’d rather you “Smash” my nuts with a hammer then sit through one minute of that awfulness.  Television is $hitty enough without me adding this garbage to the list.  C’mon Broadway, grow up already.  i blame those Gleetards*, now everyone thinks singing is “fun” and “cool”.  Well it’s not, trust me.  And doesn’t anyone remember high school?  Anyone in glee club got beat up by the football players, and for real they should be beat up.  They are not as strong or as good looking as us and singing is gay and you deserve to be bullied and mocked heavily  Just like i do to these stupid singing shows.  But yeah i do miss football already and am still euphoric over the Giants win so whatever happy day for me 🙂

*Gleetards is a term Daniel Tosh came up with, not me.  Give credit where credit is due

“OLDSCHOOL” NONSENSE – Cash bar weddings?  Look, we all get that weddings are expensive, but there are other places to skip out on.  Let’s think about this, booze can make anything fun and anything look good.  So why spend money on a fancy venue when you can just have an open bar and solve all your problems?  Really, there’s no excuse for it.  If you don’t have enough money to pay for the open bar you don’t have enough money to get married, period.  You might as well get married and not have any rings if you’re going to be that ghetto.
“Facebook etiquette”- Make a comment on my “Here Comes the Money” Facebook page’s new profile pic!  i think it’s the money because it’s like “Here Comes the Money!” and then there’s people and there’s also money. And explaining it i hopes of getting comments makes it funnier i think.  But whatever no one commented so you guys are the worst.  Especially Rob Miceli!  jk guy, grow up and hang out again already.  “Whoo hoo i’m legit sick and had to go to the hospital!”  Whatever deek get the sand out of your vagina and come over my place and we can do a power hour and order a pizza with All the Meats and eat everything by ourselves and then sit their puking in agony as we lay on the couches as complete messes.  So basically i’m saying i miss you and feel better! 

And speaking of Facebook for real if you haven’t yet “like” my page already!  i’m going to keep saying that till i get to over 100 likes so do it!   http://www.facebook.com/HereComestheMoney85

Fast food tips- Before you read this bit my advice to you would be to find a clean pair of shorts you can change into.  Because i’ll be honest after i heard about this new item the front of my boxers got wet.  Anyways i’m not sure where the closest Jack in the Box is but apparently they have just introduced a new “Bacon Shake” and just the thought of this thing makes my penis go boooooWHIP!  It says it is made with vanilla ice cream and bacon flavored syrup with whipped cream and a cherry, and my only thought when hearing this “what took so f’n long?!?!”  It’s a scientific fact that bacon makes everything taste better, so if anyone can tell me where the nearest Jack in a Box is i would apprecaite it because i would like to order one of these shakes and make love to it and then drink it.  Wait, maybe i’ll drink it then make love to it afterwards… Wait no, i was right the first time.  Enjoy!
That’s it for me kids, i hope everyone has a great weekend!  i’m gonna try to get out of this funk with some booze which we knows always makes things better.  So i’ll see you guys on Tuesday but before i go there’s one Later Dicks i forgot to drop yet and to my sister and brother from New England who read this i will just say stop now and do not go any futher…

LATER DICKS!

– HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Cya Tuesday! – miguel jo$é

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2 Responses to “If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. – Homer Simpson”

  1. Tomas February 10, 2012 at 6:24 pm #

    Not cool from me and Heather Where is the dislike button?

    Like

  2. Anonymous February 10, 2012 at 7:54 pm #

    My company has been looking for someone “decent” at their job. They feel being “good” or “performing ” is overrated.

    Like

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