There’s something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional- Robert California "The Office"

7 Oct

What is up kids?

Whoo hoo flashy!   So be honest, what does everyone think of the new look?  i am still tweaking some of it but i wanted to make it look more “official” i guess.  i’ve actually been working on getting my blog out there more and submitting it to different websites and what not so i thought this change is necessary.  But please feel free to comment and let me know what you think, even though this is my blog and i do what i want!

Anyways it’s mother f’n Friday and i’m in a pretty gddamn good mood. “About time Debbie Downer!”  Yes it is about time.  Maybe it’s because it’s Friday, or maybe i’m finally getting over my awful mood, maybe it’s because it’s downright gorgeous out and should be through the weekend, or maybe it’s because the Yankees arent’ in the playoffs anymore…

“Bashing the Yankees?!?!?  Good luck with your Blog the rest of your life because once you start bashing the Yankees i am out of here forever!  Later dick!”   Haha relax my mourning Yankee friends, i am not talking about most of you.  A lot of my friends were Yankee fans since the 80’s, and if you are that kind of Yankee fan than i feel for you.  Because you are a true fan, you didn’t hop on the bandwagon in 1996 and just enjoy the fun ride your whole life.  If you were a fan since the 80’s you remember when the Yankees were MISERABLE, if i had to compare them to anyone i would compare them to the 2011 Mets.  Oh man does that suck to write but for real it’s true.  The Yankees weren’t always the juggernaut they are now, they used to be second fiddle to the Mets back in the day and New York used to be a Mets town.  i know it’s hard to believe for you Bandwagon Yankee jerks but again the real fans know what i’m talking about. 

As a Mets fan i must say i don’t really hate the Yankees even though i probably should.  The Yankees are the anti-underdog, if you are rooting for them it is basically the same as rooting for Wall street instead of the protesters.  And as dumb and awful as some Mets fans are, bandwagon Yankee fans are the WORST.  They know nothing about the sport, none of them can tell you who played shortstop before Jeter and all they do is trash other fans like they actually know something.  So when i get joy in the Yankees losing it’s because i’m so happy those kinds of aholes are miserable, because for real F them.

But the main reason i get happy when the Yankees lose is because i listen to a LOT of sports talk radio, and there are no more obnoxious aholes in the world then people who call up who LOVE the Yankees and HATE the Mets.  And if you listen to enough of that garbage everyday you really start to hate those kinds of Yankee fans.  So when i say what i’m about to say PLEASE do not take offense to this if you are a Yankee friend of mine, because i don’t mean to lump you in with this.  Don’t take offense because this is not directed towards you, i mean that from the bottom of my heart and i am sorry for your loss.  But to the rest of you…

HAHAHAHAHA SUCK IT AHOLES!  All that money on Teixeira and A-Rod and CC and you still f’n blew it!  And maybe now stop telling me how awesome Nova is as your #2 because he’s garbage!  And congrats to Nick Swisher, apparently being a super nice funny guy that everyone likes doesn’t keep you from having the lowest Yankee batting average in playoff history!  The only difference between you and the Mets is that the Mets have a week head start on their golf game!  Good riddance to the most overrated team in baseball history, now everyone knows what overpaid loser aholes you are!

Okay i feel better.  But for real my Yankee friends i do feel for you, better luck next year….


-i like Chinese food but i f’n hate egg rolls.  They are just so weird and gross and smell and taste funny.  And yes i put duck sauce on them and no it doesn’t help.  It’s really just a weird food, i feel better eating the chicken even though it’s probably a combination of rat and dog.  But egg rolls?  You can have them, i don’t want them.  But save me the fortune cookie!

-Whenever i’m at a supermarket or a restaurant or fast food place, and when they are ringing me up and go “do you want to donate $1 to cancer?” or whatever else they want me to donate to, i always just donate the stupid dollar.  i can’t imagine not doing it, i would feel like a real lowlife.  It’s like “One dollar??!?  No f’n way!  i mean i’m down to spend 10 bucks on 10 different things on your dollar menu but i will not spend one whole extra dollar to help out cancer research!  What do you think i’m made of money?!?!?”  Oh and another thing, whenever i do donate money i’m not naive enough to think it actually goes towards the actual “cause” it is collecting for.  Whether it be the McDonald’s fund, or the $1 for Chilli’s things towards cancer, or those stupid cans they have at stores collecting money for beating children or f’d up dogs and cats and what not.  When i donate i’m not thinking “i’m saving the world!” What i’m really thinking is “man i wonder who ends up with all this money?”  Because i’m guessing it never gets to where it should which i is really just the cynic in me.  But the reason i still donate is because it makes me feel better about myself, if the money doesn’t get where it should it’s not my fault, my intentions were good.  Plus when i get to heaven and Peter is weighing my pros and cons it won’t be held against me if the money didn’t get where it should, all it will say on my resume is “donated the extra $1 for cancer at Wendys.”  So hopefully if i do that enough that will get me in.  As long as he doesn’t look at the other stuff i guess…

Fast food tips- NEVER go through the drive-thru at fast food places. Just don’t do it.  i mean obviously if it’s mad late and that’s the only option, but drive thru’s take FOREVER.  You probably think i’m gonna go the Joe Pesci Lethal Weapon route with the “they f*ck you at the drive thru!” but i’m not.  The main reason i say don’t use it is because it takes f’n forever.  And this country is full of such fat lazy f*cks that everyone uses it.  There’s been so many times that i drive up, see a line of cars at the drive thru around the entire building, only to walk inside myself and there is zero line and i get my food about an hour quicker then those aholes waiting in their cars.  So yeah for real just don’t use it, it is not worth it and you waste way more time in line that could be spent eating delicious unhealthy garbage.

“Facebook etiquette”- Hey local bars that i friend on Facebook… stop sending me so many gddamn invites to everything!  If it’s about your Halloween party or some crazy special you are having once in a while fine, but i don’t need 3 invites from you each day for “Tuesday happy hour!”  “Yankee game tonight!”  “October 7th party!”  i get enough dumb invites from my friends to bull$hit i will never go to, i don’t need more of them from your stupid ass bar that i go to once in awhile.  And now make it never because i’m deleting you as a friend and never going back.  So suck it.

That’s it for me, let me know what you think of the new format!  Or don’t let me know because to be honest this isn’t the one i’m going to use.  Haha yeah i’m kinda an ahole, i wasn’t ready to debut the real one i plan on using so i just changed it up to be an ahole and buy me some time until i get it ready for Tuesday.  So come back on Tuesday to see the “real” new site!”  But yeah if you want to let me know what you think of this one anyway that’s cool too.
Have a great weekend, cya Tuesday!
-miguel jo$é

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