i don’t care what you think unless it is about me. It is now my duty too completely drain you. – Kurt Cobain "Drain You"

27 Sep

What is up kids?

i’m feeling a little nostalgic today, and you can blame the music scene from 20 years ago that is making me feel this way.  20 years ago almost to the day a band named Nirvana released an album called “Nevermind,” and a few months later music was changed forever.  Also around the same time a band called Pearl Jam released a song called “Alive” and to this day they are still my favorite band of all time.  And also around this same time my next girlfriend had her very first birthday, and 20 years later i am finally ready to meet her and make her mine forever.

Is there anything more cliche then thinking the music you grew up with is the best music of all time, and everything else that comes after it sucks ass?  The answer is no.  Nothing is more cliche.  And i hate being that guy who says the same thing even though EVERY generation says it and i sound like an aging a$$hole… but man the music i grew up with was the BEST and everything else after it sucks ass!

Alright fine not all new music is the worst.  But for real, i feel like all music since the “Alternative” music scene has been downright horrificness.  Boy Bands?  Emo?  Honestly between the two i don’t know what’s gayer.  Emo might be worse, because it took the genuine angst from grunge and turned into whiney rich teenagers who sing like girls.  And yeah for some reason i could never get into that.

i don’t think i’m as bad as my dad as far as not giving new music a chance but i’ll admit i’m probably not far off from him.  He literally won’t listen to anything after 1955, i at least waited until 1995 before i gave up everything forever. Alright not that early but if i did give up music then would i be missing much?  Besides the Silversun Pickups i can’t think of one band that i would miss dearly, and if anyone has any bands that i’m missing out on please feel free to let me know.

But besides being awesome, that music always brings me back to a time before i gave up on life. A time before i was so cynical and actually believed that my future was bright and there was nothing i couldn’t accomplish.  Not that i have a bleak outlook on my life now, because to be honest if you could tell 20 years ago miguel how much fun i am still having these days i think i’d be pretty happy.  But there are certain aspects of our youth that we can never recapture, no matter how much we wish we could.  There is a fire that still burns inside me, but now instead of it being from creativity and a passion for comedy it has more to do with eating 3 Sonic breakfast burritos covered in hot sauce and depression.  i should have stopped at two right?  i couldn’t help it though, those things are so f’n money. 

And alternative music got popular by accident; let’s not pretend for a second that record companies actually wanted it to get big.  i guess that’s the main difference with today’s music, everything on the radio now is determined by corporate radio execs that decide what is and what is not “cool.”  No one thought Nirvana would blow up the way they did, and when they did become successful it took years before the record companies could figure out how to make it marketable.  Of course once they did that is what killed the entire scene, and to this day no other type of music has ever been able to get success in the same way.  And that also turned music into what it is today, corporate generic garbage that has none of the depth that music used to have and it is just catchy lyrics with beautiful people with average at best voices filling our airwaves.  And i wish i could do something to change it but oh well, whatever.  Nevermind.


-What is it with white people and gay recreational sports?  Whoo hoo Kickball! Dodgeball!  Flag Football early on Sunday mornings!  Co-ed Softball!  Why do you white people always have to engage in this nonsense?  There must be some theory behind it but i’m too tired and not smart enough to figure it out right now.  When minorities want to play a game it’s always just them calling their friends saying “what to play basketball tonite?”  or “want to get a game going?”  White people are not happy unless there is a referee, they get to wear uniforms and come up with some stupid not funny team name and they have paid some sort of bull$hit league fees.  “Everything must be organized!”  Oh yeah?  Have fun with that.  i’m not really sure why you find the need to play all the games we played in grade school gym class as an adult but whatever, have fun against the Purple Cobras Average Joes.  i’ll be at the bar talking to women while you sprain your ankle again. 

-if you have a roommate, make sure you always give them the heads up when you plan on taking a day off.  Because honestly, there is nothing worse then taking off or calling out of work only to find your roommate did the same thing.  The whole point of calling out is to enjoy a day to yourself, whether it be getting chores done or going shopping or just sitting in your boxers and your own filth as you casually booze before 11 am on a Tuesday.  But more importantly, you want that time to yourself!  i mean sure i can make an omelet with no pants on in the kitchen listening to my fantasy football podcasts when my roommate’s home, but do i really want to?  The answer is surprisingly no, and having someone else in the house on your day off just sucks so make sure you plan it out.  Or you can not plan it and when you both end up with the same day off and your day kinda sucks because of it you’ll remember this blog and that you are a jack ass who hates good advice. 

-For all you Pearl Jam fans out there, and that should be all of you, they have a new documentary out celebrating the 20 year anniversary of “Ten” called PJ20.  It’s directed by Cameron Crowe and if you missed the special showings in the theater they are showing it on “On Demand” so you should definitely watch it.  i hear it is straight up money and at the very least you will get to hear Eddie Vedder sing with his gorgeous voice that i never even whacked off to that one or three times. 

Commercials that make me want to commit MURDER-What is the deal with these Hamster commercials?  i think they are for cars?  i honestly have no idea, it might be for a video game because the commercial starts off as a shooting video game and then all of a sudden these hamsters show up and they are dressed like humans and they start dancing and then the video game guys start dancing too.  So i’m still not positive it’s not a commercial for a video game but whatever, it’s utter nonsense and not cute at all and it heats me up every time it’s on.  Everything just sucks sometimes.

Fast food tips- Why do i care about the stupid Monolopy game they have at McDonalds every year? i never f’n win and the fact that they give you Park Place in every single meal so that you only need Boardwalk to win a million bucks is a dirty dirty trick that happens to work on my dumba$$.  So yeah i f’n hate that i fall for it EVERY time but if you’re like me you are a dumba$$ too who can can’t wait to play.  And today is the day it officially starts so go play and win some stuff already! 


Any of my friends that put that as their status because they actually believed this please do me a favor and punch yourself in the face and save me the trouble of having to do it for you.  Thanks.

Haha if you ever want to heat some mom’s up make sure to have your own blog and call them out for ditching on plans.  MAN are those broads touchy!  i honestly didn’t even care the happy hour fell through i’m just mad that they haven’t added to my 30 followers yet.  But oh well they do comment on Facebook and that’s good enough, isn’t it?  Actually no it’s not, follow my blog you silly moms!

That’s it for me, hope everyone’s week is good so far and i’ll see you kids Friday…
-miguel jo$é


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