There’s so much pressure in our society to have a good time on your birthday. It’s like, "i can’t believe I’m going to work on my birthday!" "i can’t believe I’m doing laundry on my birthday!" "i can’t believe I’m paying for sex on my birthday!"-Jim Gaffigan

23 Aug

What is up kids?

Holy S balls i am beat… i’ll be honest kids my bday weekend got a little wacky.  i still haven’t gotten my wits about me.  Hell i haven’t got “A” wit back, let alone all my wits.   Friday night was the f’n money, that place Copia is none joke.  It’s too bad most of my friends are too old to come into the city anymore, it was a crazy time.  Every time i got out in the city i always think to myself “How come i never go out in the city?”  It’s mad close and i have the best time, i gotta stop blowing it with that.  Maybe it’s all the hot girls that go out that makes me never go, because yeah that makes sense. 

So after that madness i had my first fantasy football draft on Saturday.  For the most part it went pretty well i think.  i was pretty hungover from the night before but i still managed 12 shotguns which i was happy about. It was tough to get too crazy though because i had a party at my place at night which i had to get back to. For the rest of those guys who are married with kids it is their only night out ever so they partied their faces off which is fine, it was just inconvenient for me. Oh well, the party was still really money and i had some friends from high school who i haven’t seen in FOREVER stop by late night which was really cool.  Oh birthdays, you can be so fun sometimes.

But yeah after the city Friday night, draft and party at my house Saturday and then another fantasy football draft Sunday i am FINITO.  i took off yesterday to recover and did a pretty good job of that but i just can’t get going today which is why you are getting this kind of blog for Tuesday.  i make up for it with random nonsense though so let me just get some ha ha’s in now before you stop reading…


-There is no such thing as leftover jello shots at a party.  Ever.  No matter how many jello shots you make they will be finished by the end of the night, hell way before the end of the night.  Even people who don’t drink or do shots will do a jello shot, i mean why the f not it’s f’n jello.  So do it!

– i’m definitely a 2x morning deuce guy.  Every day i take a deuce right when i get up in the morning, then i take a second one about an hour, hour and a half later once up i’m up for a hot one and that second cup of coffee rocks my stomach.  Or depending on bad i got wrecked the night before it’ll be one deuce and then another shortly after followed by a lot of sweating and crying.  Sometimes i wish i was just a once in the morning deuce kind of guy but what can you do i guess.  Oh besides eat awful awful garbage i mean.  And i’m not really sure why i’m telling you any of this but what can you do i guess.  Besides not write it down on my blog i mean.

-Why can’t they put on ANY new TV shows during the summer?  Besides America’s got talent and Hell’s kitchen or whatever garbage “reality” shows they have i mean.  Would it be that hard to try out some of these God awful shows that would never make it in the fall?  If there’s a chance i’m going to watch any of these horrific shows it would be during the summer when there is literally zero else on.  But no, they save all the new stuff for the summer and put it up against actual good shows and then they fail miserably.  Yeah keep up that strategy jerks, your method is flawless.  Except for how flawed it is i mean. 

Fast food tips- Did you know about the “Pizza Sub” at Subway?  It was popular sub from the 90’s which is the decade i hope my next girlfriend was born in.  Anyways the pizza sub has pepperoni/salami, marinara sauce and cheese.  They don’t advertise it anymore on the menu but most places will make it if you ask for it.  Why you would get a pizza sub in NY or NJ when we have the best pizza places around is beyond me, but the rest of the country could do worse then ordering this gem.

“Facebook etiquette”- Is there anything worse then having to change your relationship status after breaking up with someone?  There should be a way to do that without the change showing on your profile page or showing up in everyone’s news feed.  It’s bad enough to have to go through a breakup but now you have to go through all of the “what happened?”  “OMG no way!” and that kind of nonsense.  And forget the “it’s complicated” status, aren’t all relationship gddamn complicated? In real life that makes sense but on facebook you are either in a relationship or not in one.  But yeah they need a feature where you can make that change without it being a big deal already.  Get on it Zuckerberg! 

Before i bounce i must say happy birthday to my sister/best friend Rachael who i had an awesome time with this weekend.  She’s the baby of the family but she’s got the smarts of my older sister with my partying abilities so she’s pretty much the perfect Tolentino.  But i hope she has the best day because she deserves it. And i alsop hope she has a great trip to California before her school year starts.  i honestly think if she wasn’t my sister she might not find me funny at all but too bad for her she’s stuck with me and has to laugh at my jokes anyway 🙂   i love you Rachael! 

See the rest of you kids on Friday Friday, getting down on Friday…- miguel jo$é

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