Musical chairs. Do you remember the first time you saw the chairs lined up like that for that game? I don’t know about you but I counted the chairs: "Hey there’s not enough chairs! There’s not enough chairs for us!" That’s the whole point, there’s never enough in life, you’ll always be miserable. There’s no cake, there’s no ice-cream. Happy birthday. – Brian Regan

9 Aug

What is up kids?

For those of you who bet i wouldn’t come back alive from camping i’m sorry but you were dead wrong! Haha that sentence is fantastic.  But yeah we all made it back, even though this was definitely our last year camping EVER.  Why do you ask?  Cause of the Gddamn f’n rain.   Motherf’er… you can plan for everything all you want but you cannot plan two nice days in a row at our camp site.  But for real enough already, i cannot TAKE how much it f’n rains every year we go camping.

And another thing… F you to the weather people.  30% chance of thunderstorms for Saturday?  Oh by that do you really mean it’s going to start raining at 2 pm and never stop until 10 at night?  Thanks dicks, we appreciate the heads up.  So yeah we’re still going to do our annual get together but it will not be camping anymore that’s for sure.  Maybe we’ll rent a cabin or something, this way we can tell Mother Nature to go f herself already.  Plus i feel like all 6 of us dudes in a cabin is just as if not more gay then camping in tents so we’ll have that going for us too.  It’ll be like Brokeback Mountain but in a cabin and a lot more gay $ex.

Wow this blog is awful but whatever i’m still recovering.  i’m turning 50 next Friday so i am def getting older. Alright fine i’m not 50 but next Friday is my birthday. 8/19, lock it up kids.  Still not sure what i’m doing yet, which is odd considering i usually have my bday planned about 2 months in advance.  But is it because i’m getting older and i just don’t care anymore?  idk, maybe some of it is that.  But i don’t think so, i do love my birthday.  i honestly don’t get people who don’t dig their bday, i mean how can you not dig the day you were born?  It’s literally the only holiday that is YOURS.  And even if you hate your birthday, do you not realize the only reason you are able to hate it or have the ability to hate it is BECAUSE you were born?  You need to be alive to have emotions kids, both good and bad.  And being born kinda gives you that.  So what the F am i talking about?  Have fun on your birthday boys and girls, if you don’t you only have yourself to blame.

Wow this blog isn’t about a whole hell of a lot but when it comes down to it is it ever?  And oh yeah i’d like to state for the record i didn’t throw up once during camping.  After 11 years of camping this was my first time of not horrifically throwing up my lungs all over the campsite.  Maybe i really am growing up…


-Speaking of parties, do smokers realize the butts they throw all over the ground don’t disappear?  It’s bad enough you’re a dirty filthy scumbag smoker, but in addition to that you need to throw your disgusting butts in my yard when you’re done?  That’s awesome, there’s only empty beer cans and bottles everywhere.  Please don’t put them there, i’d much rather the fun of going through my grass picking up your sweaty repulsive butts you kindly left all over the place.  Way to go dirtbags.

-if your options for a snack are either regular cheetos or puffed cheetos and you choose the puffed ones you are wrong.  Who eats that garbage?  “Hmmm, i can have a condensed awesome taste of delicious cheese or i can take the same food and fill it with air which takes away from the flavor… i’ll choose the second one because i am an awful human being!”  Just get the crunchy cheetos like a normal good person and stop with that other nonsense already.

-Taking a train out to a night of drinking sounds like a good idea in theory.  “Hey we can all get super wasted and no one has to drive, it’s win win!”  Except for the fact that the last train always comes back SO early, which means you need to get all your drunk ahole friends together and to the train station on time which is basically impossible.  You ever try to get all your drunk friends to leave a party at the same time?  Yeah it really sux balls.  So really the only way to get this done right is to have one person who isn’t super wasted to make sure to get everyone and get them to the train station on time.  But if you are sober enough to do that, why not just be sober enough to drive everyone home?  It totally ruins the whole train theory.  But yeah don’t drink and drive.

Fast food tips- The $5 sub at Subway this month is Buffalo chicken!  i don’t even need to say anything else, go out and get one for lunch now!

“Facebook etiquette”--Hey “DJ Facebook,” stop posting videos and songs for me to listen to.  Do you think i have nothing to do but watch the videos of the songs you post that i don’t even like?  I don’t want to hear about what awful music you’re into let alone watch the videos you post.  If i do want to watch videos there’s this website i heard of called “youtube” that has a bunch of them.  It’s new but it’s good, you should check it out.

That is it for me kids, i am straight up finito.  i know no one cares about politics but you should and there is a huge recall election in Wisconsin tonight, hopefully the good guys win.  Don’t let politicians tell you that Worker Unions are bad things.  Sure they can be corrupt and the people up top take a lot of money, but name one organization that doesn’t run like that?  The only difference is unions fight for the workers, and without them Corporations can do whatever they want.  They tried to take that away in Wisconsin under the guise of a budget crisis and so far they have been successful.  Hopefully tonight the people come out and vote and show this will not be done without a fight.

“Stop teaching me things, tell me more about puking and fast food!  i love being ignorant!”  i know you do my simple minded friends, but i tell you this because it’s good for you.  Seeya Friday! – miguel jo$é


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