On an island in the sun, we’ll be playing having fun. And it makes me feel so fine i can’t control my brain – Rivers Cuomo "Island in the Sun"

5 Jul

What is up kids?

i hope everyone had as good a 4th of July weekend as i did!  Although i hope none of you are going through the awful coming back to work on a Tuesday morning after a holiday weekend and already dealing with the kind of a$$holes i am dealing with.  Honestly, if you are calling up to complain about something on Tuesday morning at 8:30 am after a 3 day holiday weekend, did you ever think that maybe you should just kill yourself?  Like does the thought ever cross your mind?  Like are you ever just like, “Wow i just had 3 days off, mostly beautiful weather, bbq’s with friends and family as i enjoy the birth of this wonderful free country i live in, and at 8:30 am Tuesday i already have complaints and bull$hit i need to call up and complain to someone about.  i must really be handling this whole life thing wrong, maybe i should just end it?  Like with a bullet right to my miserable face, right now.  Obviously no one would miss my dumb complaining a$$ anyways…”

Haha sorry about that.  i’m actually in a really good mood because like i said my weekend was fantastic.  i got to spend some time with the fam at Cape Cod and i spent all weekend boozing and eating and laying on the beach and a bonfire and eating fantastic seafood and just enjoying being with my brothers and sisters.  That’s one thing that you can never teach your kids; they will always take for granted that their brothers and sisters are ALWAYS around growing up.  It’s sad to me that the 5 of us only get together a couple times a year, because when we do hang out we always have a good time.  But that’s what happens when we get older and people move away and get married and have kids and do all that sort of nonsense.  The one good thing about it is that i appreciate our time together now that much more, and for that i am truly thankful for the weekend i had.

Although with a 5 hour drive there and back by myself i had plenty of time to clear my own dome piece as well.  i’m actually glad i went by myself, because sometimes spending that much time alone gives you a new perspective on things.  i certainly have one now, and as miserable as it is to walk into this place i work in on a Tuesday morning after a vacation i am kind of excited to get started on my new path.  My brother Tomas is definitely an inspiration for me, because that kid is on a special diet right now that is ridiculously restrictive, but it definitely is working because he has lost an INSANE amount of weight.  He already looks like a different person and he has no plans of stopping now.  But to watch his will power and to see his ability to accept his new diet really got me fired up and ready to stop f’n around.  None more garbage, none more fast food (but yes i’ll still include my fast food tips when i got em’), and i need to continue to run everyday.  Have i told any of you that?  Yeah i run 2 miles on the treadmill everyday now.  Hooray.

So yeah today’s blog is definitely more diary then comedy today but i need it right now.  So f’n deal with it ya jerks!  Plus my plan was to write my blog yesterday when i got back from the Cape but after a 3 hour nap i decided to just call it a night and turn that into asleep for the night.  So i’ve unpacked nothing and wrote nothing last night so this is all you get.  So if it’s your first time reading my blog i apologize, you should go back and read my last few they are hilarious.  But to the rest of you i apologize for nothing!  i’ve been setting my bar too high lately anyways, today’s a good day to bring it down a notch before i come ROARING back this Friday!

One quick funny story though.  i stayed at my little brother’s house Friday night in the Cape and after going out and getting DESTROYED with his wife and her sister as well as my sisters and brother apparently when i came back i thought it was a great idea to have a bagel at 3 in the morning.  Actually no, that was just a good idea.  The great idea was to place the butter i planned on using on top of the toaster oven, put the toast setting to “Dark” and then fall asleep promptly on the couch forgetting all about it.  Normally i would apologize to the person who had to clean up all the butter that melted all over the toaster and counter top which someone noticed the next morning, but since it was his wife’s fault for getting me so bombed i really think he should take it up with her…  but thanks to Heather and Megan for the money time, my caucasian sisters are definitely the money! 🙂

RANDOM NONSENSE

-If you are a mom, and you still have long hair, GOD BLESS YOU.  In fact, i’d just like to say thank you to all you women that still keep your hair long.   i don’t remember at what point all mom’s decided that once they are mothers they are going to cut their beautiful long hair, but its a sad, sad decision when it happens.  To me it’s basically like giving up, because what your saying is that after all your enire life of having long gorgeous hair, the hair your husband fell in love with, now that you have children you just don’t care anymore and it’s time to stop caring about your looks.  This isn’t to say that all women look bad when they cut their hair, some still look money.  But if you ask any guy most of them will say women always look better with long hair over short.  Most single girls won’t cut their hair short like that, they will always keep it long until they get a guy.  Then once they have them locked in those scissors come out mighty fast.  Most will wait until after the wedding and after kids but still a lot of them give up way before that.  i know i’m fighting a losing battle with this and i know girls will keep cutting them $hits but for real ladies just realize we all loved your long hair and miss it dearly. 

-Speaking of ladies looking lovely, i f’n LOVE when girls wear skirts.  They are SOOOOOOOO hot!!  i don’t care how ugly the girl is, if she is wearing a skirt then i am staring.  i just can’t help it.  It doesn’t even matter if the skirt is as long as a regular pair of shorts, the length doesn’t even matter that much it’s all about it just being a skirt.  Dress ones are definitely nice but little skirts like the ones cheerleaders wear? mmmmmmmm POP!  Sorry, i just popped in my pants thinking about that imaginary skirt on that imaginary girl.  Anything girls do to make themselves more girly is super hot to me.  Having long hair, wearing pink or purple, wearing skirts, etc.  i hang out with a decent amount of sweaty smelly meatheads so when i see a baby girl in pigtails and a pink skirt i go from 6 o’clock to 12 pretty much immediately.

-i think non-identical twins are ghetto.  Not like i hate them or anything, but if you’re not identical i’m not impressed.  i guess if it’s a girl and guy it’s kinda cool, because i guess you couldn’t be identical as a boy and girl cause of boobs and a penis i guess.  But if it’s two brothers and two sisters and they are twins but not identical it does nothing for me.  You might as well not be twins for all i care.  Or you can tell me you are but deep inside i just won’t believe it even if it’s true.  i’m pretty sure no one else will feel the same way as me on this so i don’t know why i wrote it but i did and i’m okay with it. 

Fast food tips –So i know already told you that when you go to McDonalds that you can get the Big Mac sauce on anything which really is a class move.  However, on my drive back from the Cape i found out there is a way to make it even classier.  “Yes i’d like two McDoubles from the $1 menu with Big Mac Sauce please.”  “Sure thing, would you like bacon on that?”  annnnnnd POP!  “Yes i’d like bacon and a new pair of boxers please.”  So just to sum up, a McDouble with Big Mac sauce and bacon is the classiest move one can make at McDonalds.

“Facebook etiquette”- Hey guy commenting on my Facebook status or picture THE SECOND i posted it… would you mind waiting a hot second?  i’m glad you’re so eager to put a reply but i literally just finished hitting post comment and you’ve already liked it and commented on my status already.  i get that you’re totally creeping on my page nonstop but can you try and make it a little less obvious please????

That’s it for me 2day children, i’d say this blog is a B to B plus myself but after a long holiday weekend i am definitely fine with that grade.  i have some changes planned for this summer including some movie reviews and possible guest bloggers so stay tuned for some fun garbage coming soon! -miguel jo$é

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2 Responses to “On an island in the sun, we’ll be playing having fun. And it makes me feel so fine i can’t control my brain – Rivers Cuomo "Island in the Sun"”

  1. Tomas July 8, 2011 at 1:20 am #

    Also glad to spend time with you. For my birthday I would like a new toaster jk

    Like

  2. Heather July 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

    LOLOLOLOL! My favorite part was how the bagel stayed in the toaster for two days. I guess we left it was there in case you changed your mind. Had a blast with you, its always a great time!

    Like

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