The first time i saw you, i knew it would never last. i’m not half what i wish i was. i’m so angry, i don’t think it’ll ever pass. And i was bad news for you… just because. i never meant to hurt you. – Elliot Smith "Pitseleh"

14 Jun

What is up kids?

Haha i’ll give you get mad deep with your quote to start off your blog!  That song is ROUGH.  If any of you are going through a real tough break up or something and are looking for a song to slit your wrists to in the bathtub while you cry your eyes out and lose your mind i would suggest this one…
But no, today’s blog isn’t to help you out with songs to put on your soundtrack to blow your brains out.  i actually heard this song for the first time last week from my friend Rob who has been trying to push Elliot Smith on my for the longest time, and i have to admit i was just blown away. i kinda dig my style of writing, because i just try to write how i talk and for the most part i think i am successful with that.  But i’ve always felt the best writing comes from putting emotions and feelings down in a way that is both simple and yet has never been put exactly that way before at the same time, which is EXTREMELY difficult to do.  
Because for real, anyone can write simple dumb ass love songs.  Just put on any pop radio station and after you get through 45 minutes worth of commercials and an actual song comes on you can hear it for yourself.  All these songs contain simple lyrics and catchy beats, and since it’s mindless and fun and easy to get into most of the mainstream public will be into it.  This is exactly why i’d rather brutally slam the car door on my nutsack instead of listening to that garbage.
Did that last line make you laugh?  It should of, it was kinda funny.  And if you notice i didn’t use any complicated words, words that would score you high points on “Words with Friends”. Whoo hoo, you’re topical!  Bring up Angry Birds next!  Anyways, all i did was take an emotion i felt and write it in a way which was both simple yet never heard before which is why it stands out. i’m not even saying i’m the first to ever use that, i’m just saying i guarantee that is the first time you’ve heard that expression today, or probably all year.  And if you have heard it before you have bigger problems then i do.

i do love poetry but i must admit i don’t read it nearly as much as i should.  But i love when i find a new one and this Elliot Smith cat is just incredible, i can’t wait for his new album!  Oh wait, he was killed by his girlfriend years ago?  Terrific.  But yeah i am almost looking forward to my next break-up so i can listen to more of his stuff haha.  But dead or not, hearing his lyrics makes me realize what a talent writing is and that it is one i will constantly work on.  Honestly, the only real way to get better at it is to write as much as possible; And with this blog i have totally fallen in love with writing again and couldn’t be happier i am doing it.  Just as i couldn’t be happier that i am finally at 20 followers!!!  Thanks kids, i really do have the best readers sometimes.  And how do i repay you?  By giving you suicidal lyrics and talking about how i enjoy writing, way to go ahole!  “Yeah we kinda figured you liked to write, hence your f’ing blog jerkweed!”  Haha well played my friends, i’ll try to make it up to you with some hilarious…

RANDOM NONSENSE
-There should be a way to tell who is single at weddings and who is not.  i don’t know if it will be by wearing a certain color, or even a big “loser” sticker you get at the door.  i really don’t care what it is.  But any single person at a wedding who ends up talking to some super hot girl and having the best conversation only to have her jerk 0ff boyfriend or fiance come up to her knows exactly what i’m talking about.  Or at the very least, the bride should do that bouquet tossing nonsense at the beginning of the reception so all the guys can check out the field from the get go instead of wasting their time on a girl that is there with a date.  Honestly help us out wedding people, it’s not all about you ya know!

-Listen, let me make this clear… I DO NOT SUPPORT CHILD MOLESTATION!  But that being said, did you ever watch the show “Dateline” and root for the guy the get away? Like he goes outside, the cops come up on him but he like runs back inside and punches Chris Hanson in the face and jumps out a window and hops the fence and somehow gets away and steals a car and just totally evades the cops?  i seriously doubt they would air that episode, but hopefully it would end up on the interwebs or something.  And i totally hope they catch the guy like the next day or something before he can commit any other crimes, and then they could send him to jail to get raped by big black dudes for rest of his life.   i’m just saying it would be cool to once see someone get away.  And no it’s not racist to assume it’d be a black guy who would rape him in prison;  i just said they were black because it would hurt more.  Some skinny white dude would cause him some slight discomfort at most.  

-It’s funny when you can look back on a night and can pinpoint exactly when everything took a turn for the worse.  It’s like, “i remember dancing with that girl, dinner came out and then i got that call from my mom.  And then we took that Patron shot and OH WAIT THAT’S IT!”  Most times you won’t remember it on your own though.  It will be the next day when you are going through someone’s Facebook album and you’ll see that picture of you doing a gravity bong hit and you’re like “So that’s why i woke up with my eyebrows shaved off!”  There should be a name for that moment of revalation, and if i was funnier or a better writer i’d say what it is…
-i was at a wedding and there was a guy dressed in all black.  My first thought was, “this isn’t a funeral buddy!”  But then i thought, he is probably considering tonight the death of the grooms’ sex life.  So i guess that black suit makes sense after all…
“Facebook etiquette”- There should be a “drunk mode” on facebook that you can click on when you’re drunk which disables your ability to send messages, post nonsense status updates, and most importantly it will not let you creep on any exes pages.  i feel like normally i can help myself but once i’m 13 beers and 3 shots into a night i’m like “what is my ex up to anyway?”  This feature would stop all that nonsense.  And yeah they should have this feature on phones too but this section is for fb etiquette, not life etiquette. 

That’s it for 2day kids.  After a fantastic 4 day weekend it is back to reality for me, or back to my regular life with all my personal problems as Lebron James likes to put it.  Oh King James, once again you do not come through.  And after all that hype, after that GOD awful “Decision” and that ridiculous entrance in Miami for the big 3, when it came down to it you are straight garbage.  So enough of the Michael Jordan comparisons, as Steve Kerr put it, “Lebron is no Jordan, more like Pippen.”  Haha well said Steve, well said.  -miguel jo$é

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