I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating- Sophochles

3 Jun

What is up kids?

Whoo hoo! Sophochles!  What a classy quote to start the weekend! 

But yeah i was debating between doing my blog on Thursday or on Friday, but then i started thinking, what day do i get down on?  And i guess the only real answer was FRIDAY FRIDAY Getting down on Friday!   Have you forgotten about that song already?  Yeah you have and shame on you!  That song is still straight money.

So are any of you kids taking summer classes?  Of course not, i’m pretty sure the average age of people who read this blog is 57.  Which is awesome because you all know i’m into younger girls, and why else would i write this blog unless i was impressing cougars in the process? 

Anyways, after speaking with some younger girls who are still going to college, or as i’d like to call them the HOTTEST GIRLS EVER, it made me remember one of my favorite stories about college.  Or at least the one that didn’t involve my penis in another girl. 

So to graduate i needed to take a Gen-ed Art history class, and i had to take it on a Saturday.  Why you ask?  Because when you work full-time and can only take night classes you always end up with the $hittiest schedule hands down.  “Well maybe if you applied yourself the first time around you wouldn’t have had to work and go to school full time later in life!”  That’s helpful advice after the fact, i appreciate you telling me i told you so.  You are the worst, imaginary person who hates me.

So yeah i take this class, Saturday morning at 10 am.  Yeah i know i’m a madman but i had to do it.  And the teacher walks in and she has to be the most upbeat enthusiastic person about art EVER.  She tried SO hard to get everyone to love art and teach us every little thing, so of course she made me sick.  But she never gave tests or homework really, she said the whole semester would consist of 2 tests and the final.  So as far as i’m concerned all i have to do is somehow drag my hungover ass to class every Saturday and i should pass no problem, right?

So after a month and half we have our first test.  i barely studied and figured how hard could it be?  Well, it was f’n IMPOSSIBLE.  It literally could have been written in Japanese and i wouldn’t have done any better. “Or Spanish!”  Yes, or in Spanish jerks.  And i still remember my grade on that test, i got a 45.  But i wasn’t the only one, EVERYONE failed that test horrifically.  But the hilarious part is this super upbeat teacher who was always so happy comes into class the week after we took the test and she was MORTIFIED.  i swear, i think she was in tears when she started that class saying, “i don’t know what happened.  i’ve been trying so hard to teach you guys this stuff and all of you failed this test.  i don’t know what to do, obviously none of you are trying…”  So yeah i was heated i failed but if everyone else did too i guess i was okay with it. 

So when the next test came around what did i do?  Well i studied hard and took notes and…. haha you bet your ass i cheated my face off!  It is actually not possible to cheat any harder then i did on that test.  And what was my reward for all that great cheating?  i got a 55!?!??  Really? Even with cheating as much as humanly possible i only got a 55?  And the teacher came in the next week even more depressed then she was after the first test, and this time she was almost bawling.  But since the final was the only test left she decided to give an extra credit assignment since it was most people’s only hope of not getting an F.  And i will say i did the extra credit, that much i did do.

So two days before the final my girlfriend dumped me.  How many girlfriends have dumped me in these stories? All of them i guess.  But yeah needless to say i was a wreck because i am a sensitive pu$$y who gets his heart destroyed by women.  And the night before the final i’m writing all the answers down to try and cheat again but i was so depressed i just gave up.  i still lived at home at the time and i remember saying to my mom, “mom i am not going to this final tomorrow and i’m just gonna take the F”.  What was i gonna do?  My two grades were 45 and 55, even if i got a hundred which by now you realize was impossible i still wouldn’t pass so i just said F it i’m not going.  And i didn’t, i never went to that final and just took the F and that is the end of the story.

Or is it?!?!?  Jump ahead to when report cards came out and what grade did i get?  C minus!!!!   What the F&ck???  How is that physically possible?  To this day i have no idea, i honestly have no clue how that happened unless that stupid extra credit thing was worth 80% of the grade, which is wasn’t.  Or maybe everyone else did so bad that she had to do some sick curve on everyone’s grade and it was enough to get me a C-?  All i know is after not studying, cheating on the tests and not going to the final i was still able to pass the course.  And you know what?  That is the best C- i have ever gotten.  Finally, a win for the good guy!

RANDOM NONSENSE

-i am literally the worst liar.  In fact, if someone tells me a story or rumor or something, and then someone else tells me the same story and i have to pretend i’ve never heard it before, there is ZERO chance the other person knows i’m not lying.  Let’s just put it this way, my lying abilities are on par with Paul Walker’s acting abilities.  But yeah if you tell me a story and it looks like i’m only acting like i’ve never heard it before then i have definitely already heard it before. 

-i need bigger arms.  not HUGE arms, but just big enough so that when random girls grab them i feel fine about it.  Not that it happened recently, but for real maybe i just wasn’t ready for girls to grab my guns. But watch out for them, cause they’ll get ya!

“miguel jo$e’s dating tips”  Is the guy with no girlfriend who apparently gets dumped every other day trying to give out advice on women?  Whatever, just listen to what i say cause i’m right fellas.   Never, EVER ask a girl “Are you mad at me?”  The only way you can ever ask a girl that is if you never want to sleep with her ever.  Girls HATE insecurity more then anything.  And guys, you want to know why girls date a$$holes? Guys think it’s because they treat them like $hit, which is only true in the case of Italian girls.  But girls like a$$holes because they are mad confident, and confidence is sexy.   So again, never, EVER, ask a girl “Are you mad at me?”  Or don’t listen to what i say and enjoy your night alone pleasuring yourself in the shower crying in loneliness like this other Mexican/Domincan guy with somewhat the same build as me did last weekend.  No not me jerks, his name is Manuel Jose and he DEFINITELY does not write a blog…

“Facebook etiquette”- If you send a request for me to join a cause, chances are i will click on it.  But if i click it and then need to then click on something else as well i am OUT.  i don’t care if the cause is “teen girls for older hispanic guys”, if i have to click more then once i am done fighting for your cause.

Man i’m in a good mood day, maybe it’s because it’s Friday, the weather is fantastic and i have the money weekend planned.  Either way i hope all of you are in as good a mood as i am.  So have a great weekend and i will see you kids on Tuesday! – miguel jo$é

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One Response to “I would prefer even to fail with honor than win by cheating- Sophochles”

  1. Michele June 4, 2011 at 2:41 am #

    So, you like young girls and cougars but no Italians. What's next? What about height? You got a problem with short girls? Just because I'm the size of a Doozer doesn't mean I can't kick your ass. Oh yeah, you WILL tap out.

    Like

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