Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism. – Kenny Powers

31 May

What is up kids?

Welcome to the first Tuesday edition of Here Comes the Money!  i hope everyone had a fantastic Memorial day weekend.  Mine was definitely pretty money, i slept a decent amount and played a ton of pong and boozed heavily all weekend.  i’m pretty sure i blacked out twice, or at the very least i don’t remember how two nights ended.  My apologies to my roommate Carl, who i apparently told the same story to a hundred times Friday night.  i kinda blame him because he’s a fantastic listener, but for real i’m such a Chatty Cathy when i drink.  And by Chatty Cathy i mean annoying close talking ahole.

And i also will say i hope everyone took at least a little time on your day off to realize everything our soldiers have done to protect our country.  i know it’s easy to get caught up in the BBQ’s and the nonsense, but the sacrifice these brave men and women make in order for us to live as freely as we do is beyond anything i am capable of.  There is ZERO chance i would ever join the service, not because i do not love my country but i just have this huge thing against dying.  And besides eating garbage and destroying my liver i do a decent amount of things to try not to die, or even get hurt really.

But the lack of selfishness it must take in order to give up your life to protect others is beyond me.  i’d like to think that if it came down to it and my friends and family are involved that i would do anything to protect them.  But in a matter of life and death who knows how you will react?  i can talk tough all i want about how i’d jump in front of a bullet for someone.  But if i did see someone pull out a gun i would probably build a house to hide in out of all the bricks i just $hitted in my pants in order to protect myself.  But i can only speculate on how i’d react, i can never know for sure.  People like my parents who are both Marines were obviously brave enough to make that sacrifice, and i can’t help but wonder if they’ve ever looked down on me because i wasn’t willing to do the same.  My dad would have been a huge fan of me joining the service, but from what i can tell the Marines are looking for too many slightly overweight Hispanic guys who play beer pong, are super sensitive and write in their “diary” three times a week under the guise of a blog…

But just because i know i could never join the service myself does not make me appreciate our troops any less, in fact it’s just the opposite.  And i hate when people in politics blame the other parties and say “they are against the troops, they do not support the troops.”  Because yeah there are some peace freaks out there that do not support the troops, and the thought of troops coming home from Vietnam getting spit on by people does make me sick and i’m glad that i never had to see that in my lifetime.  But i do believe you can be against the war but also support the troops.  i am not for the Iraq war but i would never say anything against the troops because all they ever do is what they are told is needed to protect America.  i believe this can also be summed up by the classic old saying of “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” 

i don’t know, i guess it’s no big revelation for me to say “Support the Troops!”  “Wow, way to put yourself out there miguel.  It took a lot of guts to write this blog.”  For once you’re right person who comments during my blog and somehow i both hear it and type it out for you.  But i didn’t write this to make some amazing point, i didn’t write this to be funny. “Obviously not!”  Alright now you can shut up jerkface…

idk, i’m just proud to be American sometimes and this weekend was one of them.  Some of other stuff like our obsession with celebrities, the fact that every single movie that comes out is either a sequel or a remake and no original idea has come out of Hollywood in the last 25 years, or even white people’s obsession with vampires, none of that can take away from the fact that this country is the money.  And we are this way because people have fought for that right.  And again, hopefully you all thought about that for even a hot second on your third burger and second hot dog.  And that steak thing wrapped in bacon that my roommate Duffy made which was tremendous.  Oh and starting off the day with a glass of Svedka Citron and Sprite was probably a good way to guarantee i would be huking in the back yard before the day was over.  God Bless the US and A!


 -i’ve never been comfortable enough with a girlfriend to ever want to fart in front of her.  i see some of my guy friends and they will blast them in front of their girl like it’s nothing, like it’s a big joke.  Hahaha.  idk, i get that there are some girls that are cool enough to think it’s funny but it’s just not my thing.  i feel like my main goal as a boyfriend is to always have my girl into me and down to bang, and farting in front of them does not accomplish that goal.  Of if it does they are a sicko.

-Don’t you guys love that new game “Scrabble Buddies!” everyone is playing nonstop on the Iphone?  It’s so addicting and so much fun!  Oh wait, i guess it’s called “Words with Friends”, i must have gotten the name wrong because i have a life and don’t play games that my mom is also addicted too.  My favorite thing is to watch 3 people sitting at a table all playing this game on their phones, but never looking up or conversing at all because they are too into their “game” to actually talk to these so called friends.  Although i guess it’s nice that if you play this you can literally have zero real life interaction with these people even if you are in the same room as them.  i guess that’s what the big appeal of this game is.  But yeah i will not get involved in this game because i am a moron and don’t know any words and have already graduated college so i don’t need anymore homework.  So have fun dorks!

-i hate that the “WWF” stands for the World Wildlife Federation instead of World Wrestling Federation like it used to.  C’mon wrestling, really?  You really lost that battle with the fluffy bunnies and cuddly bears?  Grow up wrestling.  And yes if you are wondering, fluffy bunnies and cuddly bear were two of my nicknames in college.

-Aren’t moms the hardest people to buy gifts for ever?  We get it, you take care of everyone in the entire family.  Nothing we can get you compares to that.  Get a hobby already!  For real, i can only get you that manicure pedicure combo from that nail place in town so many years in a row.  Moms follow zero sports teams, they aren’t into any movies or tv shows.  Or at least not into shows enough to ever put on a DVD of it if you get it for her, it will sit unwatched forever.  i’ve only gotten my mom one good gift EVER, she used to play this ghetto solitaire game on the computer, like the original ghetto one that used to be on all PC’s.  So i bought her this “Ultimate Solitaire”game that has like a million different versions of solitaire and other card games and the graphics are a million times better and have talking characters and what not so she plays that all the time now.  And that was like 8 years ago, i’ve never come up with anything good since.  If anyone’s got any ideas i’m all ears…

“Facebook etiquette”- That’s it, i’m officially making a new Facebook rule.  Anyone who goes to Vegas and takes pictures, when you make a new album on Facebook you can NOT call the album “Whatever happens in Vegas…” Honestly, EVERYBODY F’N DOES IT!  Can no one think of any original name for a photo album besides this tired old phrase?  There are a MILLION different Vegas references you can use!  “Vegas baby, Vegas!” “Fear and loathing in Las Vegas.”  Hell, i’ll even take “Viva Rock Vegas” for crying out loud.  But no more “Whatever happens in Vegas,” albusm, okay?  And i’m telling you not asking you.

So apparently i should have switched my blog to Tuesday sooner because today’s blog is tremendous!  i’m actually going to go back and read it again it was so funny…. okay i’m back.  Actually i was finished reading it again a little while ago but i couldn’t write yet because i was too busy holding my sides from laughing!  So my next blog will be either Thursday or Friday, i haven’t figured it out yet.  If anyone has any preference let me know.

And oh yeah i’ve kinda plateau’d as far as followers go at 17.  Which is fantastic don’t get me wrong, and to the 17 of you when i make it big i will remember you first.  But some of you other people who read this all the time but don’t comment or become a follower i say become a follower today because it makes me feel good.  If i can be up to 20 by the end of the week you will make me smile, and who doesn’t want to see my $hit eating grin?  Aholes that’s who.

cya… soon? – miguel jo$é

One Response to “Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism. – Kenny Powers”

  1. Eden June 1, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

    ahahaha….can you introduce the no farting concept to my husband please…he has farted directly on me and he can kill a small country with that gas…LOL


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